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Why am I gay?

113 Answers
Last Updated: 12/16/2019 at 5:09pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Lisa Meighan, BSc Psychology (Honours)


Hello, I am Lisa and I work in a person-centred approach mixed with cognitive behavioural therapy. I believe we all have the potential to be the best we can be.

Top Rated Answers
June 17th, 2016 11:58pm
I don't know, why am i a girl? why am i loud and obnoxious? why am i caring and compassionate? why do i fall in love so easily? why do i find beauty in everyone i meet? why do i like the smell of vanilla so much? why am i who i am? why this why that, it doesn't matter. we are who we are. dont try to figure things out about yourself when theyre just parts of you that make you who you are
June 24th, 2016 5:23pm
Hello, being gay is something that is natural. You cannot help the fact your genetics indicated you to being gay. I felt like you for so long, I was isolated and alone. There is nothing wrong with being gay, you are who you are, and yourself is beautiful. There are so many 'worse' things in the world, and being gay isn't one of them. If you need help or guidance about being gay, please feel free to message me or any one from 7 cups.
June 29th, 2016 3:12am
Some people like people of the opposite sex, some people like people of the same sex. You're the second type. It's natural and you were born that way.
June 30th, 2016 1:29am
You aren't JUST gay, you are an individual with a unique personality, abilities, qualities and something to give to humanity. Everyone has hurdles to overcome in life and being gay can be a very challenging one! But life won't throw anything at you that you can't overcome, so use your individuality and make yourself and others happy with your gifts!
June 30th, 2016 5:06am
You are gay because that is how you are genetically, as was decided at the time you were conceived.
July 2nd, 2016 2:54am
Because, my dear, you were born much too bright, and much too beautiful, to be represented as anything but a rainbow.
July 4th, 2016 3:36pm
Sexuality is not a choice. You are born the person that you are, and you were born liking the same gender. It is certainly not a bad thing.
July 6th, 2016 12:35am
Being gay isn't caused by anything, it's an inherent part of who you are. And I think its beautiful.
July 7th, 2016 1:27pm
There is no specific reason or purpose to being gay. It's like asking why you are a certain race. What you need to know is that being gay doesn't and never will define you as a person.
July 7th, 2016 5:18pm
You're gay because you were made that way, you can't change it and it isn't something that is bad or something you should want to change.
July 9th, 2016 12:11am
I think the most important thing is to stop focusing on the why, because it's something that we can't change. I'm gay too, but I try to remain optimistic and positive. Yes, there are people that dislike homosexuals, but we can't change who we are, and as such we shouldn't be obsessed with the notion of what makes someone gay. Personally, I believe that it's natural as it's present in most animals, not just humans. As for feminine behaviour, I think that could be learnt. This is all beside the point though! You're who you are and nobody can change that, so embrace it and show people that you're strong - you're proud.
July 18th, 2016 2:47pm
That's just the way you are, just like people don't chose to be straight you didn't chose to be gay. Just know that there's nothing wrong with that at all, even if people tell you otherwise.
September 5th, 2016 11:10pm
Unfortunately you cannot chose who you are attracted to. Why are straight people straight? There must be hundreds of combinations of environmental and genetic factors that makes a person either gay or straight, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with either
October 25th, 2016 2:02am
Being gay it's not a choice. You just born like that, and it's totally normal, you just fall in love with other people like everyone does.
November 21st, 2016 2:36pm
We are born attracted to whomever we are attracted to, male or female. Does it matter? Society may put labels on it. But truly, in our hearts, does it matter? It shouldn't.
January 16th, 2017 10:18am
Unfortunately, we do not choose who we are. We are born oblivious to our gender. But society wants us to be who we're not. We question ourselves, and become susceptible to doubt and insecurities, but we cannot change who we are. At the enD of the day were all human, and that's all that matters. Gay or not, we were born the way we are and we should accept that, we should not let others opinions of us change who we are. You are gay because you feel a deeper emotional connection with the same sex as you, rather than the opposing sex.
February 20th, 2017 6:13am
Some people say you're born with it, others will say it is something you chose or learned. Maybe it's a mix of both. Maybe it's neither. You know yourself better than anyone else ever could. Only you can really answer that question in any sort of way that you will find satisfying.
July 11th, 2017 2:06pm
it is not a bad thing to be gay! it is who you are and if you ever feel you need help going through anything talk to a trusted adult. i believe you are a beautiful person and you can't and shouldn't change who you are!
July 17th, 2017 6:37am
I am gay because that's how I was designed. Why are straight people straight? That's just how they are. And this is how I am.
September 4th, 2017 11:59am
You where born this way, and that's alright. Some people like the pposite gender, some like the same gender. This is how the world is.
October 29th, 2019 9:05pm
I’ve always been gay I just didn’t notice it until recently. I’m gay because I’m admitting to who I really am and loving myself. I’m not just loving myself, I’m also just trying to love my own-sex and another person of it. I want to spread my love and affection to someone other than the opposite gender and that’s okay. I’m not gay because I want to be, I’m gay because I was made to me and my god directed me in the right direction and helped me accept my sexuality. So yes I am gay and it’s not my fault.
November 11th, 2019 3:35am
I don't know how to answer that but to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you the way that you are. Regardless of what science or society says you are valid and deserve love, care and support no matter your sexuality. Whoever you love you are capable of having a positive relationship and positive impact life. Being gay is a valid part of you but it doesn't have to define you, you are capable of just as much as anyone else and you deserve the same too. I know you are grappling with a very big question that we don't have one clear answer to but however you are feeling is understandable.
December 16th, 2019 5:09pm
Science is unclear why homosexually occurs. It is not unique to humans, but it has been well-documented with other animal species as well. The opposite question might be asked as well: "Why am I straight?" and it will hold the same value. Heterosexuals don't genrally tend to question the source or reason of their own sexuality. It is not questioned by the dominant majority in society and so it is not considered to be something out of the norm. Maybe it's more beneficial to ask ourselves what is the reason we ask these kind of questions? Do we feel uncomfortable in our own skin? Do we tend to think that life would be easier as heterosexuals? What is our ownnattitude to our own homosexuality? This line of questiining should ideally lead us to a point of self-acceptance and living with our own truth with in a healthyband positive way.