Moderated by
Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
August 23rd, 2015 5:46pm
You love who you love no matter if it's the same sex or different sex. You might feel uncomfortable showing compassion with the opposite sex so you choose to love the same sex because they know more about you as a male or female. The same sex relationships have more in common. If you are a gay or a lesbian or bisexual you are still human and you can do what every one else is doing. I heart LGBTQ
When I first realized I was pansexual, I was confused. I started to stay away from others in fear that they wouldn't like me me anymore. After awhile I realized that there were so many options for me and learned to accept the fact. You shouldn't hate yourself just because you're gay, you should be proud to be who you are. Learn to accept yourself and others will accept you.
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2015 5:22am
honestly, I have gone through the phase of asking why me? but the real question is why people hate on you. you are doing nothing wrong, so don't hate yourself, just be you.
Anonymous
November 1st, 2015 1:34pm
You are gay because you are gay. I'm American because I am. It's just what it is. I hate myself sometimes for talking to loud. I love myself sometimes because I'm awesome in the game of Chess. Don't hate yourself forever. And don't you understand, you don't get paid to hate yourself. So, why waste your energy? Like, why?
Anonymous
October 29th, 2015 8:14pm
I have had similar feelings of hate, guilt, and shame when I finally understood my own gender identity and sexuality. However I soon learnt that I should love myself for who I am. Some people will probably judge you, or change how they are around you, but that is their problem. Not yours. You are An amazing person for who you are, and if anyone tells you otherwise, they're trying to invalidate you and your feelings.
Being gay is not a choice, there's no reason why you are. There's absolutely no need to hate yourself, embrace yourself for who you are.
You are born gay. Theres nothing you can do about it. The sooner you learn to accept yourself and learn that its normal, the happier you will be.
Regardless of any controversy, science has proven that being gay is not a choice. There are a lot of complicated factors that may go into our sexuality, including environment, genetics, and hormonal changes during pregnancy, but we do know that it has nothing to do with any moral or personal choice, nor does it relate to any sort of previous trauma.
There are great resources available, however, for you to better understand your sexuality and find others going through similar circumstances; the CDC has some links to a few of the many resources available here at http://www.cdc.gov/lgbthealth/youth-resources.htm.
First of all, congratulations on figuring out your sexual preference! So many people struggle with this and it's great that you've gotten in touch with this part of your identity. You're gay because you identify as a male and you find others who identify as male attractive. It's okay. It's normal and it's healthy. Why do you hate yourself? People of all social backgrounds, genders, social classes, ethnicities can be considered homosexual - you're not alone in this.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2016 8:20pm
Well there is nothing wrong with being gay, actually most other animals display homosexual tendencies
I cannot define for you exactly why you are gay, but I can tell you that it is completely natural. I used to feel the same way, but I came to realize that there is nothing truly wrong about being gay. It's merely love, and love is never wrong unless it hurts you or others. You have no reason to hate yourself for loving another. Please try to believe that.
Anonymous
September 5th, 2015 4:26am
First of all, please don't hate yourself. You are worth so much more than that, you are a beautiful person. Being gay is a natural occurence, in fact homosexual behaviour is found in many different animal species. Unfortunately some people think it is a choice. Whereas a lot more people think that you are born gay and it is as much a part of who you are as your brown hair is or your dimples. Eventually I hope that your sexuality can become something that even if you are not proud of it, you can accept. It is a long road but one that can bring you many friends and much happiness. If you need someone to talk to, the Trevor project is great for LGBT people and of course we here at 7 cups are always happy to listen. Good luck.
Anonymous
August 20th, 2015 4:08pm
You shouldn't feel self hatred due to your newly discovered sexuality. If you identify yourself as LGBTQI, then attempt at embracing yourself. In no way is it wrong for you to be gay. If you are going through puberty, you will experience new feelings of attraction, possibly towards the same sex. This does not make you "gay", nor does the opposite make you straight. Teens will experience new attractions, to a single gender or others. This is a way of sorting through sexual feelings, and is common. Whether the above puberty note applies to you or not, you should always attempt at embracing yourself. You are who you are, and you should always love yourself for who you are.
Why am I straight? It isn't something that we can choose. I'm sorry that you're going through a hard time, but remember that being gay is just a part of who you are, your sexual orientation does NOT define you as a person. Don't hate yourself for it, learn to accept yourself the way you are because there is nothing wrong about liking people of the same sex :)
Being gay simply means you have interests (whether that's sexual or romantic) in members of the same sex as you. Although many members in society demonize this and there's a lot of hate out there, it's really not a bad thing. You were born this way and it's absolutely natural. Depending on your upbringing and the media you've absorbed, it's understandable why you feel unhappy with yourself. Realize that there's a lot of support out there for you and our world is slowly changing to be more accepting of people like you. Most people aren't 100% straight anyway, so you're definitely not alone. Sexuality is a spectrum. Odds are most people you know aren't straight either.
Anonymous
September 24th, 2015 2:56pm
There is no easy answer to this question. Sexuality comes from deep within a person, their subconscious, something they cannot control- it's part of their personality. Personality is determined within the first few months of birth. A homosexual has been that way their whole like just like a heterosexual. It cannot be controlled. I am on my own journey discovering my own sexuality. I used to hate myself as well, I may never fully accept that part of me but I have to learn to tolerate it. It isn't something I believe in but it is a part of me and I cannot change that. I know now that there is at least no real reason to hate myself, I just may not agree with my personality- which is totally normal.
Anonymous
September 11th, 2015 7:41pm
You are you, and there is no need to hate yourself. Everyone deserves to be themselves. I know how it feels, but we are always here to help anytime you need it.
Being gay is perfectly okay. There is no shame in it what so ever. I know from experience that being gay or bisexual can be a bit insecure and that makes sense. But you are more then welcome to come and message me if you want to talk about that:)
Anonymous
August 21st, 2015 5:02pm
That's how you've been born, it's no one's fault and you shouldn't hate yourself. The LGBT+ community is great and accepting and if you meet some people from it, you may feel a lot better
I have no idea why you're gay, but hating yourself for it will just make you miserable. Trust me, I've been there
Anonymous
September 9th, 2015 11:12am
I'm homosexual as well, and for a long time, I despised myself! I hated not being like the other people in my school, I hated going to church and hearing them talk about how bad homosexuality, and I hated that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't change. But your sexuality is just another thing that makes you, you. I don't know why some people are born homosexual, and I don't know why some people discriminate those who are. But don't beat yourself up over something that doesn't define you, because you're worth more than what the labels say, and you're worth more than what people think of you:)
Homosexuality is normal in animals and humans. Be yourself and love yourself. You are not a mistake.
Anonymous
September 13th, 2015 2:25pm
You're only gay because you were born that way. Just like how heterosexual people are heterosexual because they were born that way. But you don't have to hate yourself. Our society may not be the most accepting one when it comes to this matters. But acceptance should start in yourself.
Anonymous
September 16th, 2015 2:53am
you are gay because you are born for greatness. like how lesbians and bisexuals and transgenders and others are. Being gay is not something you acquire because you spend time with the lot or because your uncle is gay or whatever. you're born with it. it's who you are and whoever you are, you must love because you are beautiful. God spent time creating you, man. You are beautiful. please don't hate yourself.
Anonymous
September 2nd, 2015 11:53am
Dudeeee theres no problem in being gay. not at all. that is no reason to hate yourself. its your life and its not a wrong to like people of the same sex.
everybody is different. try looking at ways that being gay is positive. you shouldn't hate yourself as you are wonderful in every way
You are who you are, don't hate yourself for what people think of you. You were born like this for a reason
Anonymous
January 20th, 2016 4:09am
You're gay because you were born gay. No one decides what their sexuality is and there's nothing wrong with that.
Anonymous
November 28th, 2015 11:54am
I don't think there's anything bad about being gay to be honest. It's never been a problem with me, just because i think homosexuals are born homosexual (and if you're asking yourself that question, most likely you were too); it's not a choice, but then again, falling in love almost never is a choice (to a certain extent it can be maybe). I think why it's so hard to accept for gay people is because of societal views, but in general i just think that people... cannot accept others who they deem different to them. But what they don't realize is that everyone is different; some just more openly or obviously so than others.
Do not hate yourself for something you cannot control, or that is far beyond your control. There is nothing wrong with being gay. As I sit here and type this, I embrace my gayness.
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