Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why am I gay? I hate myself.

158 Answers
Last Updated: 07/13/2020 at 10:15am
Why am I gay? I hate myself.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Stacey Kiger, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My belief is that therapy is not about giving advice, but joining you on your journey

Top Rated Answers
Jenniferroseh98
September 20th, 2015 7:52pm
It's okay that you are gay it is not your fault that it is your sexuality. You shouldn't hate yourself! It doesn't change who you are
Anonymous
September 23rd, 2015 6:50pm
You can't hate yourself for being gay. It's who you are. You can deny it to yourself and your family and friends, but you probably won't live a happy life. Before coming out (if you do come out) you should come to terms with it yourself and begin to love yourself again. It won't be easy, but you will be happy again.
Anonymous
September 24th, 2015 2:56pm
There is no easy answer to this question. Sexuality comes from deep within a person, their subconscious, something they cannot control- it's part of their personality. Personality is determined within the first few months of birth. A homosexual has been that way their whole like just like a heterosexual. It cannot be controlled. I am on my own journey discovering my own sexuality. I used to hate myself as well, I may never fully accept that part of me but I have to learn to tolerate it. It isn't something I believe in but it is a part of me and I cannot change that. I know now that there is at least no real reason to hate myself, I just may not agree with my personality- which is totally normal.
Emily619
September 25th, 2015 12:48pm
You are gay because it is your sexuality preference. Do NOT hate yourself over it. It is not anything that deserves hate. If you do hate yourself due to being gay, talk to a close friend about it.
Heretohelp455
September 27th, 2015 8:28am
You are gay because you were made that way. Don't hate yourself for being who you are its okay to be gay.
christopherbae
September 30th, 2015 1:16pm
You should never hate yourself over what you want. Don't let society change you. You're you, and you're a great person. Look for the positives in your life, and everything will get better.
BeFair
September 30th, 2015 6:13pm
Currently, is believed that being gay is not as the result of negative circumstances. There are millions of homophobic habitats on the planet right this moment, and some of them are professionals who really want to cure homosexuality. If homosexuality was a disease, and if there was a cure, they would have found it out by now. So try to enjoy your life, because you deserve to be happy. :)
Anonymous
October 3rd, 2015 4:16am
You shouldn't hate yourself. Love yourself for who you are, because there's no reason that this happened other than it just did. Please give yourself a chance to be happy :)
Anonymous
October 22nd, 2015 7:56pm
you are gay because it is in your genes there is no need to hate yourself for it, same way i am transgender, it will take time to accept yourself and its not easy to either
Probius
October 23rd, 2015 12:43pm
You are gay because you were born that way, just like straight people are born the way they are. There is no reason to hate yourself, being gay does not make you a bad person.
SaturnPrincess
October 23rd, 2015 9:26pm
Did you know gay is also a word for happy? It doesn't go with hatred. Be proud of being different, use it. It's a gift, trust me. In a world where all knowledge can be reached by a simple click of a button, the only way we can really make something that matters is by being different. By using what was in your head before anybody ever told you it's supposed to be there. Love yourself, and cherish the fact that you are not just another fish in the sea, you might not notice that you are actually a bird that could be flying in the sky, but sobbing cuz everybody told you you are supposed to dive.
YourFutureBestFriend
October 24th, 2015 5:26am
Don't hate yourself! You are gay because you are into what you are into. You may be this, I'm like this. It's okay.
Anonymous
October 25th, 2015 3:05am
Don't hate yourself because you're gay. Try to embrace that certain factor in your life. It will make you feel better.
zaix
October 25th, 2015 3:32am
You are gay because you are you. Love you. Everyone is different in some way and if you want to be gay and you are gay and it is you, then don't try to change it, don't hate it, embrace it.
Michelle0621
October 25th, 2015 1:08pm
We are born to be who we are. I am a lesbian,I am proud of who I am because I am not like others,I am unique.
listeningandcaring
October 25th, 2015 9:25pm
There's nothing wrong with being gay. It can be a struggle though. And unfortunately, the LGBTQ+ community faces a lot of discrimination and other obstacles, but that doesn't mean your life means any less than any heterosexual cisgender person. In fact, you can life a very fulfilling life. Trust me. It just takes time.
blazingwolf
October 26th, 2015 11:47pm
If you hate yourself that means you dont accept yourself, and feel its wrong. Try to look deeper in yourself to find out why this feeling is wrong to you even though you affirm that you are. I believe you have to settle these feelings and order your mind to clearly know what annoys you.
resourcefulWhisper90
October 28th, 2015 6:55pm
Being gay is completely natural, hating yourself for something that isn't your choice isn't worth the emotional strain.
Anonymous
October 28th, 2015 9:01pm
There is not a reason for being gay. Don't hate yourself, being gay is pretty common and it's cool to be gay.
Anonymous
October 29th, 2015 3:44am
actually you have to proud of your self. anything your choice is good for you, Maybe there is make you happy to be gay but you have not find someone who love you.
LunaDesireeFuller
October 29th, 2015 12:27pm
You are gay because that is who you are! You are no different from a person who is hetero- you just have a different sexual preference! Love who you are, there's only one of you.
NadineH
October 29th, 2015 4:58pm
You should never feel that way or say that, and never let anyone make you feel that way. Embrace who you are and love yourself.
Anonymous
October 30th, 2015 7:26pm
I'm sorry to hear that you hate yourself :( You are who you are, and nothing can change that. There's nothing to be ashamed of in being gay. I understand that sometimes it can be difficult, especially if you are surrounded by intolerant or judgmental people, but it's important to be proud of who you are! You are beautiful and unique and wonderful - embrace your sexuality, it is an integral part of you. My thoughts are with you xxx
Chxxsepuffs
October 31st, 2015 12:15am
Being gay isn't a choice, it's who you are as a person and you should love yourself for that. Being gay isn't something to be ashamed of, it's something about you that you should be proud of!
GBS16
October 31st, 2015 10:01am
There is nothing wrong with being gay. To put it in Lady Gaga's words, you are "born this way" and that is okay.
Anonymous
October 31st, 2015 8:48pm
There is no controlling how one feels about others. If you love your own gender, it's something you're born with. It took me a long time to accept myself, but it works out in the end,
Anonymous
November 1st, 2015 1:34pm
You are gay because you are gay. I'm American because I am. It's just what it is. I hate myself sometimes for talking to loud. I love myself sometimes because I'm awesome in the game of Chess. Don't hate yourself forever. And don't you understand, you don't get paid to hate yourself. So, why waste your energy? Like, why?
SpiritWolfie
November 4th, 2015 2:56am
Never be sad about who you are, I am a gay Listener, and I love myself, I say we know how to dress better then straight guys :)
MajesticSeal
November 4th, 2015 12:31pm
No one really knows what causes people to be homosexual, it could be genes, environment or a mixture of both. However it is perfectly natural and is seen in many species outside of humans too.
Ophelisten
November 4th, 2015 12:34pm
Like all living creatures, you are worthy of love. Being gay does not make you less human or less than an human. Being gay is hard because people make it hard, it's not a tare nor a disease. Don't let people put you down for not tie in their standards or expectations. You are not hurting anyone. They are hurting you.