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Why do I always feel like who I am is wrong and something I should be ashamed of?

10 Answers
Last Updated: 09/07/2020 at 4:12pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy

Psychotherapist

I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.

Top Rated Answers
Breathedani
January 30th, 2015 5:06am
We as humans are very critical of ourselves. We want to be this "perfect" figure even though we don't really know what"perfect" is. So we are really striving to be something that may not even exists. You are not alone. I, as well as many others are very critical of who we are and who we are becoming. It is important to remember how lucky we are to have what we have though. For example, I have a sister who struggles with her weight. She talks to me a lot about how she has fat thighs. Although I know they are not fat and she is just being extremely critical of her body, I remind her that she is lucky to have those thighs. It can be hard to be who you are even if you don't really know who you are. And that is okay. Love the life you live. It's a process and it takes time.
PoppyW
January 14th, 2015 12:16am
Perhaps, it is due to the "external factors", which are the perception of the public and the people close to you. The perception of other people, apart from ourselves, tend to be very convincing to believe, and eventually we lose our true self. However, each individual is unique and wonderful. We should always embrace ourselves and be proud of who we are!
Anonymous
June 15th, 2015 11:26pm
I know how you feel. I think it is because society is afraid of anything "different"and it teaches that different is wrong. Different is not wrong. Find the people who accept you for who you are and cling to them.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2015 7:15pm
You should never feel ashamed of yourself. You're your own person, you can try and change yourself if you wish but it is nothing that I would ever recommend. Be proud of your quirks and imperfections, it what makes us human.
zaix
October 25th, 2015 11:10pm
Because you don't have the belief in yourself as you should. Believe in who you are because you are you and you shouldn't change for the good of others.
crispBerry39
May 31st, 2016 4:28am
I've dealt with this very close and you just have to realize that everyone is unique and everyone brings something to the table.
magicianseth
August 22nd, 2016 5:08pm
First, you should never feel ashamed of being yourself. If anything, trying to pretend to be someone your not is one of the worst feelings in the world. Second, you are perfect just the way you are and you should know that you matter to at least one other person in this world. The reasons you might be feeling this way could be due to a past experience or traumatic event. Know that you never have to journey alone in these thoughts and feelings. You are a unique individual and you matter!
TheShy
September 19th, 2016 6:00pm
Experience. It's most likely what people made you feel like in the past, even if it isn't true. People tend to make others feel less worth, just so they feel better. Stupid, isn't it? Why believe them then? I know it's difficult, I've dealt with this for years. My mother told me I'm worthless, so did the bullies from school until now. But hell, those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. Surround yourself with people who clearly appreciate your presence. It may not seem like it at first, but it helps.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2016 6:40am
I think that everyone feels wrong to ashamed at some point of their lives and the best way to deal with it is to reflect and evaluate the situation through a third person's point of view and make sure that you're neutral and calm when thinking about it.
cristlecares
September 7th, 2020 4:12pm
Most of the people feel the same. But I will assure you,being yourself is never wrong until You do something which hurts others or which is bad for the society. And it never matters whether you are intelligent or good looking or you are rich. But your heart matters. Good People never love rich by money people but they love people with rich heart so always help others. Don't hesitate to be kind . And always choose kindness. Never ever be ashamed of you. You are unique in your own way. You might not be an intelligent person but you can be a great singer. You don't have to be a handsome person but you might have some other unique quality. Never stop loving yourself as well as others. Stay strong and believe in yourself.😇😇