Why is it so hard for people to understand my sexuality?

26 Answers
Last Updated: 08/05/2019 at 11:33am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Strauss, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous - Expert in LGBTQ+
December 18th, 2014 5:53pm
People are less likely to understand things they have never heard of, seen, or otherwise aren't familiar with. Right now, society in general continues to focus on and represent heterosexuality above all other sexualities. Even homosexuality, arguably the most-represented non-hetero sexuality, is still subject to harmful stereotypes and phobias. Bisexuality is often erased, and other sexualities are rarely acknowledged at all. As such, coming out as any other lesser-known sexuality is often like trying to explain Twitter to a recently-revived George Washington. Their confusion is not a reflection on you, but rather general society's narrow and harmful idea of what is "normal." If you feel it, it is real and valid regardless of what others may say.
Erynn
December 19th, 2014 4:25am
Sometimes people are so set in their ways that they cannot open their ears and mind to other experiences. Sometimes, more information and multiple ways of explaining it can help. However, sometimes other people are not willing to understand, and their own beliefs and views can be too rigid for them to accept new information. I'm sorry things are hard for you, it may help to talk to other people and seek support through other avenues when some/all of the people you care about are currently unable to understand and support you.
chamomilecompanion
November 24th, 2014 7:20pm
Many people are have ascribed heavily to a heteronormative way of thinking and are ignorant to non-heterosexual identities.
SashaMor
November 25th, 2014 12:34pm
Because it's a mystery for a huge amount of people! They just never thought that someone can live differently. Sometimes people can't change their minds and then they see LGBTQ people, who are a great difference to anything that they ever seen! So they're angry, confused and stressed out.
Anonymous
November 25th, 2014 3:19pm
Well, some people can't understand something that isn't what appears as the 'norm' to them. Just be patient, and answer questions that ghey may have to help them understand better.
chabays
November 27th, 2014 2:23pm
some people see or hear and interpret according to their perspective only, its quite sad to know that there are only a few people who still put themselves in another people's shoes and try to understand others and their choices however a few people is better than no people and as long as there are people who try to relate with one another rather than doubt them then there's still hope for us that maybe someday we can all accept each other
Anonymous
November 28th, 2014 11:07am
Many people are traditional meaning the fact that they may feel like homosexuality is unnatural but in modern times we know now that this is not the case. You must remember at all times that we are all human beings and who we fall for is part of us. Stay strong and help them to understand. Things ease with time. Good Luck.
BookwormBeauty91
December 3rd, 2014 7:50am
It is hard for people to understand you sexuality because people are very afraid or are not open to other peoples views. They believe one thing and don't care about what other people think.
tranquilCentaur
December 7th, 2014 5:40am
Many people don't understand the different sexualities because it's simply too different. It's a lot to handle, usually, and accepting it may come later on. For some, it's just how they were raised to believe. You can't make everyone understand or accept you, hun. I've learned that as long as you are comfortable with yourself, you'll do just fine.
openHeart76
March 13th, 2015 1:35pm
Heterosexuality has long been something that society has deemed not only the norm, but the only shape made. Anything outside of this was (and sometimes still is) considered a 'bad' choice. It is also a fact that so much of our still living older generation never spoke of such things because it wasn't considered polite. So, it's no surprise that even though there has been a wave of change in thinking, some still consider anything other than the hetero sex to be abnormal. My hope is that the younger generations coming up will help educate the masses into understanding that sexuality is all encompassing and also not a choice.
Anthony974
May 8th, 2015 4:47pm
Some people just aren't used to the fact of someone they know being different. Many people come from cultures or religion that frown up others of a different sexual orientation. Some people eventually do come around. Believe me, because I've been through this.
sereneOcean13
July 6th, 2015 4:23pm
People often need labels and boxes in order to process and categorize information. With this, anything away from the hetronormal society we're in confuses some people even if an individual can label themselves. Most people who discover they aren't straight were brought up to assume they are, most people havent followed the same thought process in coming to the realization that they're LGBTQ+ and can't understand how that process works, it's generally a confusing time for everyone in the beginning.
calmMoon61
July 20th, 2015 4:57am
Some people struggle with being open minded, not that my sexuality is something that should require them effort to accept but sometimes it does. Parents that grow up with certain mindsets or within different cultures can sometimes breed people that are ignorant to the diversity of sexuality, and thats something that can hinder you from feeling comfortable with being yourself at times. It takes time for some, others never change, but its important to learn to love and accept yourself for the absolute greatness that you are. Your sexuality does not define you, nor should you let it, its just one more thing that makes you so amazing
Jay9816
August 11th, 2015 8:53am
Either people dont accept it (religious reasons, self acceptance, etc) or they simply don't know how! If they dont understand it they either dont want too, dont know how, or dont know how to wrap their heads around it being so different then everyone else. But dont worry, bring people in like that slowly and dont judge them even though they might do it to you. Stay strong :)
friendlydaisy
January 19th, 2016 1:45am
It's hard for some people to understand what they thought was either wrong or didn't know about their entire lives. Even if it's honestly a close-minded thing to erase sexuality, be kind to those who are stupid.
Anonymous
January 19th, 2016 4:02pm
They only have their experience to compare to and sometimes people have a really hard time imagining what it's like to be different than they are.
Anonymous
April 26th, 2016 11:51am
People regrettably don't know much past their own experiences and nine out of ten are not your sexuality. I wish people stopped trying to understand and keep to themselves the need to say, "I don't get it! Let me ask you all the questions." All they need to know is that you are doing you and they don't need to understand it, but they must respect it. I honestly hope you find a support network that can help you in those rough times because some days are tougher than others.
freshLove97
June 13th, 2016 11:45am
It's difficult for people to understand what they don't know. It's hard for them because they see it from their own perspective. When something new appears in the horizon, something they don't know/aren't used to seeing, they get confused.
ItsTheLittleThings95
October 25th, 2016 12:45am
People inherently have a hard time understanding things that they do not personally experience. If the people in your life are not experiencing sexuality the way you are, it makes sense that it would be challenging for them to understand it.
plantkissed
February 21st, 2017 10:14pm
Unfortunately, it can be difficult for people to understand sexualities, which can be super frustrating! But if you explain it to them clearly, they're more likely to get some idea of your sexuality, as annoying and tedious as it is :') When people are rude, it's usually from a lack of education, so being really patient with people is oftentimes necessary
TheAdmirableCreatureAmanda
August 22nd, 2017 6:14am
For a lot of people it has to do with the way they were raised and the ideas they were raised with, the good news is that this is changing. My recommendation: check out some modern day cartoons like on Cartoon Network in particular check out the loud house and Steven universe, these shows tell kids that it is ok to like people of the same sex or other sex or any sex. There are actual gay and lesbian storylines on these show!!! We are finally beginning to get more representation in the media and that means that more people will be aware of different sexualities! so the good thing is people are beginning to be more aware and to understand better, it will take time but we are getting there.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2017 4:57am
People often fear what they cannot understand. It could just be how they were raised to believe or the genuine lack of understanding. Some people just cannot grasp the idea that there is more than what they are used to.
kylerj78
July 9th, 2018 3:33pm
It can be hard for people to understand your sexuality because they do not feel the same way. It is common for people to reject the idea of something that they do not feel themselves.
KaoriShimizu
January 21st, 2019 5:40am
Perhaps it's because even though there has been major light shed on issues like these over the years, people are either still ignorant by choice or they just don't have any knowledge born from experience. Some people are very open minded and attempt to understand but some people are still closed off. This could be due to many things. Perhaps their religious or spiritual beliefs or a conservative upbringing. In any case, try not to worry too much about being understood by everyone, because you'll always be able to find support from those like you. When you understand yourself and find those other understanding individuals who've been on the same journey, it'll matter less about those who don't get it. Many people who don't get it now, may in the future. So, there's hope for their minds to grow.
SunsetAtMidnight01
April 22nd, 2019 3:10pm
Unfortunately, it is hard for people to understand sexuality because they have trouble accepting things that change what they have seen as the norm up until that moment when they find out there are other options. That is the general answer. It is sadly true that there are some populations where to be of a different sexuality means to be shunned and made into a social outcast, but that is not as widespread a problem as people would like others to believe. The fact of the matter is that there is always someone out there who supports your sexuality, even if they're not standing right in front of you. That's why this community is so incredible, because it guarantees that you will find someone who understands how hard it is to be of a different sexuality.
Aayla - Expert in LGBTQ+
August 5th, 2019 11:33am
That's probably due to scarce knowledge about this reality. The best way to ensure your identity is understood is to talk about it, to explain exactly how it feels, how it works, what it means, and encourage people to ask you any question they may have about it. It may be frustrating to have to explain your identity over and over again, but if you can help even just one person to open their mind, it will be worth it!