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Why is my son gay?

124 Answers
Last Updated: 06/28/2021 at 8:33am
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Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
sakurafox
November 20th, 2015 9:39pm
He was born that way. Chances are that he dosen't know either. Being gay is a scary thing sometimes. You're confused on who to tell and who not to tell.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2015 8:08am
There is no specific reason for your son being gay. Many people happen to be gay and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, it's just the way they are. One of my closest friends is a lesbian and she is one of the nicest and happiest persons I know.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2015 9:06pm
Your son is gay because he was born that way. It is not something to worry about really. It's his sexuality and he will be perfect no matter what.
majesticBlanket12
November 22nd, 2015 2:02am
Theres no real answer to that other than he was born that way and you should love him for who he is rather than who he's attracted to.
Itsacrazylifewelive
November 24th, 2015 12:39am
Because he is. Life allows people to be attracted to who you want to and if your son is attracted to males, its because life allowed him to be that way. There is nothing wrong with him and you should love him all the same.
Greatlistener87
November 26th, 2015 6:19am
Different people are different and just because they are not the same with the majority in the society does not mean there is something wrong with them. Learn to accept and understand your son to know why he made the choice.
beautifulMagic16
November 26th, 2015 9:37pm
he cant help it, its not like he chose to be gay,okay sweet? it was hard for him to descover t himself and you need to make sure you try and be there for him, its terrifying coming out to your parents as i know, you have alot of questions but show support then ask when you feel like its time x
gracefulSunshine62
November 27th, 2015 5:21am
Your son is gay because he was born gay. Not by anything you did as a parent. Not because of anything he did or chose. He is the same wonderful person you raised him as and being gay doesn't change the values your parenting gave him. It can be hard for a parent to see a new side of their child they didn't know about, and the future you imagined for him may look different than what you thought. But you can still have grandkids! You can still go to his wedding! You can still be his parent and a part of his life :)
peacefulBlossom75
November 28th, 2015 2:40am
He isn't gay for a specific reason really. It's not a choice for him, it is a part of him and who he is.
Anonymous
November 28th, 2015 6:30am
He's attracted to males, and there's not a clear answer as to why - it's not a choice he made. It's part of his biology, there are homosexual beings in every animal kingdom.
Hclipz
November 28th, 2015 1:46pm
Gay people come from all types of families. Some have dominant mothers, while others may have dominant fathers. Gay men, lesbians and bisexuals are only children and they’re youngest, middle and oldest children. They come from families with siblings who are gay and families with siblings who are not gay. Many come from what society would consider “model” families.
xXmyromanceischemicalXx
November 29th, 2015 8:15am
Because he was born that way. People are either born gay or born straight. Nobody ever chooses to be gay
Anonymous
November 30th, 2015 10:34am
As it is a part of him, nothing can change this fact . Now, your son needs support from you . He could be terrified and scared . Social Stigma in this society is unavoidable . Now, you need to gradually accept it and face this undeniable fact together. I am sure your son would be so touch , if he has your support.Be by his side when he face prejudice. Your son is one brave kid , as he has the courage to come out to you and say"i am gay" .Be proud of him :)
Anonymous
December 2nd, 2015 9:35pm
Because he is attracted to boys, which is perfectly normal. Love is love no matter what gender you are or where you are from.
Anonymous
December 3rd, 2015 11:36pm
Because he is just that way. Being gay isn't a choice, so he didn't choose to be gay. He finds that he is attracted to the same gender that he is? Great! He is one step closer to knowing who he really is, because isn't that what all parents want for their children?
MC17
December 4th, 2015 4:58pm
Purely because he was born that way and it's ok ☺️ It doesn't make him any less of an amazing human!
Anonymous
December 6th, 2015 5:57pm
People are just born that way. The same way you (presumably) didn't choose to be straight, he didn't choose to be gay
Anonymous
December 6th, 2015 11:49pm
Because he was made that way. He didn't choose to be gay. You don't wake up in the morning and decide that you're now a lizard or something. He was born with it.
xostephaniexo
December 22nd, 2015 3:08pm
Because he is who he is and it's not really a question to answer i think. I dont think being gay, lesbian or bisexual is a choice. I think it's just the way they are and we should ALWAYS support them no matter what. Them being gay wouldnt change their personality.
Anonymous
January 26th, 2016 2:19am
Most scientists agree that homosexuality is genetic, so your son/daughter is gay because those were the genes you provided him/her with.
Anonymous
January 28th, 2016 6:07pm
liking the same gender is completely normal and to be a smartass I'm going to answer your question by saying because he likes boys
Anonymous
February 9th, 2016 10:41am
For the same reason that you are straight. He was born that way. There's nothing wrong with being gay, and if you still hold traditional values and stigma, you will risk losing your son. Because society is evolving to be more accepting and promoting equality, and discrimination of sexuality will be frowned upon.
wellbell
February 11th, 2016 3:20pm
You shouldn't be worried to much as it could be a phase
Deadboy666
May 31st, 2016 1:47pm
Your son is gay because he likes dudes. It's really as simple as that. Sexuality is not a choice and if you believe it is a choice a ask you to choose to be gay for a year.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2016 12:23am
Sexuality is not a choice. Your son does not choose to be gay. It is something that he has probably always felt his entire life. It is something in the brain, it is just who he is. Here is a good resource on how to handle having a gay son, and to better understand what he is going through. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/gay-and-lesbian-well-being/201104/what-do-when-your-child-says-im-gay
SnoOnTheBluff
September 26th, 2016 9:49am
Because he was born that way, the chemicals in his brain that tell him who he is attracted to seem to really like other guys. Good for him : ] Give him a big hug and tell him you love him.
Furrygirl77
October 17th, 2016 5:31pm
People are gay. It's just how they are. It's not something that you can choose or decide. Some people just are.
Anonymous
October 25th, 2016 8:27pm
Your son is gay. So what? He is gay because that is how God made him. He is allowed to be whomever he wishes to be. And so be it...gay.
JustJane43
December 13th, 2016 6:29am
The general (overwhelming) consensus in the medical and psychological worlds is that people are in fact born gay, much in the same way that people are born straight.
Nichole121002
August 7th, 2018 11:49pm
This is how he was made....it's a part of him, just like his hair color or what his interests are....don't treat him any differently because of it. The best thing you can do is accept it and show him that you still love him no matter what❤Don't lose your relationship with him just because he didn't turn out how you thought he would❤