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How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 07/14/2021 at 10:14pm
How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual?
★ This question about LGBTQ+ Issues was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 10th, 2016 8:49pm
Pay attention to who you 'crush' on. Would you enjoy kissing a girl, a boy, or both? Spend time thinking about it, and be patient. It will become more clear to you as you progress through your life, so don't rush into thinking you have to know right away. It's okay to experiment.
Happyness7
January 13th, 2016 4:18am
I can't answer that, it's up to you. If you don't know than that's okay it sometimes takes time to realize that you are but I can't define what you feel.
allthelove99
January 13th, 2016 7:58pm
Though labels aren't important, you can get a good idea of what your sexual orientation may be by experimenting. Not necessarily by enjoying sexual activities, but maybe by hugs, or gentle touches on the knee.
ContemplativeRaindrop
January 21st, 2016 3:32pm
Can you picture yourself being comfortable in a romantic and intimate relationship with a member of the same sex? Does it feel ''right'' to you? If your answer is yes, you might be part of the LGBT+ community! Of course, you can't know for sure, especially if you're just discovering who you're attracted to but it's a start. Wish you the best of luck in your self-discovery!
ukulelesounds
January 23rd, 2016 6:26pm
First of all, don't feel forced to determine your sexuality because you're reaching a certain age or your friends do. To figuree it out, just try to think back to times you've found the same and opposite sex attractive. Do you feel comfortable with the thought of being with a certain sex, or do you feel attracted to both? Don't be afraid of the answer and don't deny what you've found to be an answer to your question about your own sexuality. Keep in mind that having stereotypical "gay" traits doesn't make you gay. Your sexuality is about yourself, don't let anyone else determine it for you.
ItsButterflyLove
January 25th, 2016 4:36am
Finding out of you are bisexual, gay, lesbian,pansexual,asexual or anything else on that spectrum can be a hard, slow process. Did you ever doubt your Sexuality before? You can look up a lot of stuff on the internet. Ask people who are gay themselves. How they figured it out. Did you ever have thoughts about being woth the same gender? Would you be comfortable to have a relationship with them? It is hard to figure out. But you can do it and even if it takes a few years. Take your time. It's ok. And always remember that you are you and thwt you are beautiful the way you are.
Anonymous
January 27th, 2016 9:47pm
This has been a question brought up in society many many times, but somehow, it is still not considered as 'normal' to ask this. I personally believe that there is no clear cut definition to a person's sexual orientation. I think that it is rather a question of 'who are they?' rather than 'what are they?' which determines who you choose as your partner. My point is that everyone is probably bisexual because if they meet the right person, no matter if they're the same or opposite gender, they could always become a couple.
ella3421
January 28th, 2016 4:31pm
You'll know when you know, and you shouldn't rush it. Within time you'll know how you feel, but for now just do what feels right to you. If you're getting feelings for girls, that's okay, if you have feelings for guys, that's okay, if you aren't getting feelings at all, that's perfectly fine. There is always someone out there who feels the same as you and/or is willing to help you through your confusion.
rykairo
January 29th, 2016 2:05am
Well, just think about who you're attracted to. Do you picture yourself with the same or opposite sex? Do you picture yourself with both? Really take time to reflect and if you feel that you can identify with a label, that's great! If you don't that's perfectly fine too.
blanket7
January 31st, 2016 1:00am
If you are gay you are a male who is attracted to males. If you are a lesbian you are a female who is attracted to females. If you are bisexual you are someone attracted to males and females. Simple :)
penguinprotector6958
February 6th, 2016 6:05am
To know what sexuality you are just think about if you like the same sex of you or just experiment with the same gender ect.
Anonymous
February 10th, 2016 12:26am
Reading up on the definitions for sexuailtes is a good step for identification. As well, thinking about your previous experiences with romantic and sexual attraction also is helpful.
Anonymous
February 16th, 2016 4:13pm
Go with what you think. If you are attracted sexually to the same gender then you are either gay or lesbian depending on your gender and if you are sexually attracted to both then you are bisexual.
LonelyAngels
March 1st, 2016 2:22am
AS far as i know, as long as you are sexually and heartfully attracted to male and female, you can say that your bisexual, if your a man and attracted only to man, then your gay(being gay doesn not mean you are being feminine) and if you are a female and only attracted to female then your a lesbian(being a lesbian doesn't mean you must act like a boy, you can be girly and such)
warmheartedGlobe8527
March 19th, 2016 6:37pm
Well if you feel attracted to some one that's the same gender than you know you gay/lesbian but if you feel attracted to a man or woman that would make you bisexual.
Anonymous
March 29th, 2016 5:26pm
you can simply answer it by your own self.. Knowing what your emotional feelings want
ArielNeves
May 2nd, 2016 4:49pm
You're gay if you like the same gender as yourself; a lesbian if you are a girl who likes girls; and bisexual if you like two or more genders.
rhiann0n
June 4th, 2016 8:35am
There's no way to just 'know', its more of a process, and something that only you can decide and figure out for yourself.
Anonymous
June 4th, 2016 2:27pm
Sometimes it takes time to fully understand one's sexuality. You can determine your sexuality by trying to understand what kind of attraction you have (friendly or sexual) to a specific gender.
MatthewTheMagical
June 8th, 2016 10:53am
Honestly, I just put labels aside and I date whoever I want too. If you see a boy and you have a crush on them, date them! If you have a crush on a female date them! Date anyone you want to! Put labels aside!
Vaux
June 9th, 2016 12:39pm
If you have an attraction to your same sex, either physically or emotionally, you might be gay or lesbian or even bisexual. It depends on who you are attracted to.
XxXShoulderXxX
June 9th, 2016 3:42pm
You may be quite eager to settle the question, “What’s my sexual orientation?” or you may discover that you need more evidence. Alternatively, you may be hesitant to settle the question if the thought of being anything other than heterosexual evokes anxiety. I honor whatever feelings you bring to the process of clarifying your sexual orientation.
Anonymous
June 10th, 2016 2:58am
Honestly it's just who you find you're attracted to. There's nothing more to it that realizing you are straight
JaketheTransguyFTM
June 10th, 2016 5:09pm
You really just need to experiment. It will eventually just come to you. Go on a journey to try to figure out who you are.
BlueBurns
August 16th, 2016 10:41am
Discovering one's sexuality and learning more about is a process that cannot be pinpointed by one single act. Nobody has ever taken a test and understood that they're gay, lesbian or bisexual. However, there are a few things that can be generally looked for in one's self to get an idea about ones sexuality, depending on whether it is gay, lesbian or bisexual etc. I would always suggest not going by stereotypes because they can be very misleading. From personal experience, I got a hint about my sexuality when I got to know that two woman could lead a romantically, emotional and sexually fulfilling life together. It completed the fact that I hadn't ever been sexually attracted to the male body. I usually felt out of place among my girl friends when they talked about the guys they liked because it never interested me. I remember having crushes on movie characters and almost all of them, in hindsight, were women. And of course, there's the general 'do you want to be them or be with them' question which will give you an idea about how you're feeling. This is only a subjective experience and it varies from person to person. Some people just have known forever. Some people get to know after entering into a heterosexual marriage. It's all relative. But what is most important is to not be stressed out, take time and not feel pressured. Take it slow and figure it out rather than making a rash and incorrect conclusion. But also keep in mind that you are a unique individual and so are your experiences. And there needn't be a box or label that you need to fit in. You can just not conform to norms and embrace your weirdness and difference, and it would all be just fine. No one is more beautiful than a person who is fully proud of who they are. Cheers!
richPresence27234
August 22nd, 2016 4:22am
You just know it can be a sinking feeling in the back of your gut or something you learn about later just love yourself and everything will be alright
Anonymous
January 10th, 2017 10:20pm
Sometimes you'll know when you're young or later in life, and it's fine and normal to feel this way. You are not sinning 'God' or your friends and family and not yourself. There's nothing wrong for the kind of gender you chose to love. Love is love no matter what. You'll know and it'll be a little scary and new but you'll know and you'll be okay.
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2017 1:58am
Only you can decide that for yourself. I know it may be confusing which is why you have as much time as you need to figure this out. You don't even have to identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual if you don't want to, you can just say you're queer, or you're still questioning. The main point is that you are you, and no one can change that. Don't let anyone bring you down about sexual orientation, either. You are beautiful, and you are valid.
Anonymous
January 16th, 2018 6:42pm
Well it depends on who you're attracted to, but if you're struggling with identifying your sexual orientation, you can just wait, until things clear up and you're sure, it's perfectly fine to be confused about your sexuality. Eventually you'll experience attraction, and that'll answer your question.
BayaniVerch
February 2nd, 2020 5:20am
Typically is is quiet obvious. I do not know how old you are, but most people will start to know what gender they are attracted to by the time they reach high school. It is simply a matter of which gender turns you on. If you don't get turned on, then you may be asexual. Romantic attraction and sexuality are two different things, so that should also be taken into consideration. I am asexual, but I chose not to define myself romantically. Figuring out what gender you are attracted to romantically is a bit more difficult, so remember that you don't have to know. Hope this helps!