Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 07/14/2021 at 10:14pm
How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual?
★ This question about LGBTQ+ Issues was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Hannah Caradonna, MSW, RCSW (RCC #11330)

Social Worker

I offer a warm and non-judgmental space for you to work through your problems. I can help you with anxiety, disordered eating, depression, relationship problems and more.

Top Rated Answers
June 23rd, 2020 7:45am
When you have that first moment of questioning your sexuality, you may wonder what it means and what you should do about it. First up, you don’t have to do anything straight away. Take whatever time you need to work out what these feelings mean for you, your identity and your future. There’s no time limit, so hit pause and give yourself a break. You could take some time to look at other people’s experiences of discovering their sexuality. QLives has a great series of videos, and celebs like Troye Sivan have also shared videos on YouTube. It might help to read up on sexuality – it’s a broad spectrum of feelings and experiences, and is definitely not as black and white as some people might think. Settle in with a book or a movie that explores the lives of LGBTQIA+ young people. Types of sexuality People use a few common labels to identify their sexuality. Your sexuality isn’t defined by who you have sex with – it’s about how you feel and how you choose to identify yourself. The important thing is that you choose what label feels comfortable, or you choose no label at all. You might find, like many others have, that the label you choose changes over time. Straight/Heterosexual: Attracted mostly to people of the opposite sex or gender. Gay/Homosexual: Attracted mostly to people of the same sex or gender (refers to guys – and often to girls, too). Lesbian: Attracted mostly to people of the same sex or gender (refers to women). Bisexual: Attracted to more than 2 genders. Pansexual: Attracted to romantic and sexual partners of any gender, sex or sexual identity. (‘Pan’ means ‘all’.) Polysexual: Attracted to romantic and sexual partners of many but not all genders, sexes or sexual identities. (‘Poly’ means ‘many’.) Asexual: Not really sexually attracted to anyone. Some people also choose the labels ‘queer’ or ‘fluid’ as a way of expressing themselves by their own personal feelings. Your sexuality can be confusing Don’t worry if you aren't sure about your sexuality. Being young is a time for figuring out what works for you. Exploring and managing strong feelings is often part of the experience. Whatever is going on, questioning and exploring your sexual identity can be confusing and scary. You might be worried about how the people you love will react, or what it means for your future. It's important to remember that, while it might feel overwhelming, you’re more than capable of getting through this tough period – and it won’t last forever.
June 2nd, 2021 7:35pm
Sometimes it can be hard to tell! what matters is that you're doing what feels right. and remember it's okay to experiment or just go without a label, you do what makes you feel like yourself. It may take time but that's okay! just be true to yourself!! it all depends on you. This is a loaded question in some ways and its okay to not know right away. talk to people who may also lgbtq+ and find people who may be experiencing similar things. sometimes our greatest allies are our peers. surround yourself in people your trust and be honest with yourself. I really hope this helps, good luck!
July 14th, 2021 10:14pm
There are lots of different sexualitys and I believe it takes time to find one that suits you. lots of people change and some even prefer to stay unlabled so I think the most important part is staying true to yourself. Dont feel as if you have to fit into any certain category just be you. Then again if you want to be labelled that's fine, research never hurts and figure out who you don't and do like. Keep in mind this can change and that's absolutely fine, the way you feel for one person may be completely different for another of the same gender so make sure you keep your options open. Once you feel as if you know who you like feel free to look for sexualitys that match. There are countless different sexuality combinations with different names, some which don't even have any yet so don't worry if you cant find the perfect one. And remember sexuality can change so if you find the one that fits well done! but don't feel as if you are stuck with that forever. The most important part is being you (: