Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 07/14/2021 at 10:14pm
How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual?
★ This question about LGBTQ+ Issues was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Hannah Caradonna, MSW, RCSW (RCC #11330)

Social Worker

I offer a warm and non-judgmental space for you to work through your problems. I can help you with anxiety, disordered eating, depression, relationship problems and more.

Top Rated Answers
VickieLynn
June 20th, 2015 2:30am
I personally am straight. But I have gone through the dilemma of trying to find out what sexuality I was. I feel that whatever you are drawn too is what is right for you. Nothing wrong with being different :)
RiverStone
June 20th, 2015 4:24pm
More times than not, if you look at someone of the same sex and something inside of you finds that person attractive, you may be something other than straight. If you find yourself focusing on a celebrity that is the same sex as you, that could definitely be an indicator. When I was younger, I thought my fascination with certain celebrities was just me being a fan of their music or acting. No. Turns out they were crushes. Look at some pictures of those people, do you find yourself attracted to them?
Anonymous
June 20th, 2015 10:15pm
You just knoww it, but maybe you dont want to accept the fact that you are not as your parents want you to be, as the world want you to be. But, you are who you are, and thats the best thing you can do for yourself, be you.
brirose23
June 20th, 2015 11:51pm
You will know because you will have an attraction, whether is be sexual or romantic, to that gender.
gradientaesthetic
June 24th, 2015 1:19am
You feel attracted to members of your same sex, or, in the case of bisexual, by your same sex and the opposite gender, or even more, as there aren't two genders only. You have to understand what's sexual attraction in the first place, and learn to differ it from romantic attraction.
LGBTsupporterandmemberxo
June 24th, 2015 7:08am
you just know. dont worry about the labels too much, focus on how you feel and what you look for in a partner.
XanrikTheHighblood
June 24th, 2015 8:26am
Are you attracted to any other sex out of the opposite of yours? If yes then you are at least Bisexual
Anonymous
June 25th, 2015 3:18am
Do you like guys, girls, or both. Its often hard to decide but overall it doesn't matter. You like whoever you like and thats okay!
caringParadise45
June 25th, 2015 4:38am
It has to come from your gut basically. The expert on you is you and is completly normal to feel attraction whether is the normative one or not. Human sexuality is a full gray scale there is not a black and white. Talk to others that you really trust and start navigating the path of finding yourself and knowing where you feel comfortable
Anonymous
June 25th, 2015 7:07am
You can't really know I do suppose. But if you love someone if you are male to male, female to female or male to female it doesn't matter because love is love. That also applies to the pansexual community.
amiableAmy
June 25th, 2015 3:34pm
First, know that you need not put a label on your sexual identity if you don't want to. Sometimes we can feel that a single word does not accurately reflect our feelings, and that's okay because sexuality can be very complex for many people. You never owe anyone an explanation for sexuality. But if you're looking to identify your own sexuality in order to gain a better understanding of yourself, & you feel that you can articulate it with conventional labels, then that's a perfectly good thing to do. When trying to label out your own sexual preferences, first look at your own gender, then look at the genders of people you find yourself attracted to both sexually & romantically. Then compare it to the definitions for these labels (you can use this glossary as a jumping off point: http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2013/01/a-comprehensive-list-of-lgbtq-term-definitions/). Importantly, remember that sexuality can be fluid, it can change & develop through experiences e.g. you can identify as bisexual but have a stronger preference for men over women. Just because you select one label now doesn't mean you can't change it after new self-discovery.
Braveryxx
June 26th, 2015 12:09pm
There are four types of attraction. There is sexual attraction, the most referred to, romantic attraction, sensual attraction, and aesthetic attraction. Sensual refers to your senses, and aesthetic refers to what you find pretty. Like, flowers, for example. What a lot of people don't know is that you can have different orientations for each attraction. You can be straight, for example, when finding people 'hot', but find that you are homosexual when looking for a romantic relationship. So I suppose you should ask yourself, 'what gender do I find sexually attractive?' And then, 'what gender do I want to be in a romantic relationship with?' Remember that sexuality can also be fluid. Meaning that it can change from one sexual orientation to another. This does not make it invalid, or a phase. In short, sexual orientation is very complicated, but the only person who can really answer the question is yourself. You are the person who knows yourself best.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2015 8:12pm
gdfgdfgdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfgfggggggggggggggfgfgfgfgfgfgg
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 3:37am
It depends on how you feel for others. If you have feelings for another person who happens to be the same gender, then you might be. Just be okay with who you are and realize that if you are gay, lesian, or bisexual, you are a great person.
pinnk
July 2nd, 2015 12:14pm
You are whatever you feel you are if you feel like you like girls and you're a girl you might be a lesbian if you're a boy and you like boys you might be gay don't limit yourself like that you're what you're
optimisticKoala39
July 2nd, 2015 6:32pm
Well sexuality lies on a spectrum, it is not all black and white but a rather gray area. I would say to look at your previous romantic interest. Look at your previous sexual behavior or desires. And try to discern a pattern of behavior.
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2015 2:30am
A male who is only attracted to other males is classified as gay. A female who is only attracted to other females is classified as lesbian. A male or female who is attracted to both male and female is bisexual.
Anonymous
July 8th, 2015 6:44pm
It is just something you know. Like you know if you like eggs or not. This is coming from a lesbian and a genderfuid person. It's not something you suddenly become, it is something you were born as. Sure when you hit puberty and those "feelings" come into you and you get confused don't stress, it happens to all of us, even some straight people. Just take life as it comes. You love who you love :)
handtohold
July 22nd, 2015 4:23pm
I don't think it matters if you know the categorization of your sexual orientation. You feel what you feel - I think it's fine to just take every person as they come - am I attracted to them? Would I like a relationship with them? Would I like to have sex with them? Could I forge a meaningful connection platonic or otherwise? However if it does make you more comfortable to give yourself a title or group or category to be apart of - there are many methods of doing so. I would suggest you check out some of the videos on sexuality on the YouTube channel "sexplanations" x
DragonDuBose
August 14th, 2015 1:57am
There is no easy answer to this question, and yet at the same time it is a very simple question. Basically, if you find that you are attracted (sexually, romantically, etc.) to people of the same sex or gender as you, or to people of more than one sex or gender, then in all likelihood you are not straight. It's that simple. However, no one can tell you if you are gay or pan or any label. That's something that you have to discover for yourself, and it's something that may not be simple or even constant. Sexuality is fluid. I'm either pan or bi or queer depending on how I feel about the words on any given day. What does it mean practically? It means I am open to relationships with many types of people, and I accept that about myself. Accept yourself, love yourself, use labels if and only if they help you.
rainlove89
January 13th, 2016 12:45pm
I think I know that I am gay since, I was 3 or 5, you really don't know your different unless you were told so when every body starts to tease you, being gay, lesbian, or bisexual is a natural feeling, like your hair above your head . . . it grows naturally without you knowing it .
ThommyVSB
January 13th, 2016 5:47pm
You don't have to be any of those things. All you have to be is comfortable with who you are and who you love. It doesn't matter who they are, what matters is that you love eachother.
Crest
January 14th, 2016 3:27am
Do you find yourself thinking, in either sexual or romantic context, about anything other than the opposite binary gender of yours? If yes, then it comes down to your own gender, the gender of the person(s) you're attracted to and from that you can draw a conclusion of one of the above. Gay refers to a guy attracted, either sexually or romantically, to guys. Lesbian refers to a girl attracted, either sexually or romantically, to girls. Bisexual refers to a person of either gender attracted, either sexually or romantically, to both binary genders.
Speakfromheart
January 14th, 2016 10:54pm
Depends on who all you seem to be physically attracted to. Coz emotional attraction may lie at timesome.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2016 3:38pm
If you like having sex with only guys and you're a guy you're gay if you like having sex with a girl and you are a girl you're a lesbian if your like having sex with both you're bisexual. Simple as that.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2016 7:04pm
if you feel attraction to girls and guys then you are bisexual, if you are attracted to people of the same gender as you and only the same gender as you then you are either gay or lesbian :)
Anonymous
January 17th, 2016 5:04am
It's safe to say that experimenting is the best way to go! Just to see what you lie and don't like!
devilsOrchestra
January 20th, 2016 4:59pm
as a gay male myself I knew when I was attracted to men both mentally and physically and didn't feel this way about women. If you feel the sexually aroused by the same sex and the opposite sex your bisexual, if you just feel this way about the same sex you are gay/lesbian. Speak with a listener on here such as myself if you need to discuss it more.
Anonymous
January 21st, 2016 2:41pm
If you feel compelled to be with somebody of the same sex or of either sex, or if you have fantasies of such, you might be homosexual or bisexual. However, in the end, you decide what label to use.
Jazyjeff
January 21st, 2016 9:37pm
A little self exploration could help, try out new things it might help, you don't really have to label yourself but if you want to go ahead