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How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 07/14/2021 at 10:14pm
How do I know if I'm gay, lesbian, or bisexual?
★ This question about LGBTQ+ Issues was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
xdchloe
July 22nd, 2015 10:28pm
Well this is a good question! Labels are just there for you to use! Do NOT feel forced to ever need to label yourself, and take your time. Speak to adults, and explore if you do choose to label it should be to make you feel good about yourself! See what you like and as you get a better idea of who your feelings are stronger for you can go from there! Good luck! (:
tranquilFreedom
July 23rd, 2015 1:41am
it's hard to tell sometimes. Since I can't tell if you are male or female. If you are a guy attracted to other men, you are gay. If you are a woman attracted to other women, you are a lesbian. If you're male or female attracted to both men and women you are bisexual
peacefulWinter54
July 23rd, 2015 3:25am
I think it will just be a good feeling! Like, when you are with someone, whether it be a girl or guy or some where in between, you are just happy and whatever you decide, you will feel at peace with your decisions and your life!
Thanks4Calling
July 23rd, 2015 9:46am
Its when you feel more settled and comfortable in the company of some people and uncomfortable in the company of others. Your psyche knows the answer. Its listening to that inner voice with strength and honesty.
Itsacrazylifewelive
July 23rd, 2015 8:23pm
You kind of just know these things. Being a pansexual individual (someone who is attracted regardless of gender) you just know when you are sexually attracted to someone.
solarfae
July 23rd, 2015 9:52pm
Sexuality is just a matter of who you are attracted to, not any outward behaviors. Taking the time to reflect on who you feel sexual and/or romantic attraction towards might help. Only you can define your sexuality.
AboveAllisLove
July 24th, 2015 10:23am
Well, honestly, there is no standard or usual way to know if you're gay, lesbian, bi, pan, asexual or questioning. It's all in yourself :) Of course, everyone needs a little help when it's about these kinds of things but it all comes down to digging deep inside yourself and knowing who (or what) you really want :) It's all a matter of really knowing yourself and if you need help with that, I'm here. :)
Mowgli
July 25th, 2015 8:04am
Being gay or lesbian is being sexually and/or romantically attracted to the same gender(s) as you. Being bisexual is being attracted (romantically and/or sexually) both to the same gender(s) and other gender(s). There are other sexual orientations, such as pansexual. Just remember that definitions change and adapt to what people experience: above is my, shared by others, definition of bisexually, and it fits our experience. The most important in knowing who you are, is being aware of your feelings for others. Personnally, I understood I was bi when I admitted that the feelings I had for a girl where the same I had had for boys. Some people know it from a long time, but it's ok to discover it at 20 or 40! And orientation can also change and be fluid. For some, it's very clear, for others, it's more difficult. And that's ok! Give yourself the time, choose a label if it makes you more confortable, it's ok to change later, when you understand yourself more. It's also ok not to choose a label! Also, remember that nobody else is allowed to define you.
divinemind
July 25th, 2015 4:28pm
If you are a guy that's attracted to men only and don't think girls are your preference then you could be gay. If you're a female and only feel attracted to girls and don't feel guys are your preference then you could be a lesbian. If you feel that you like girls halfway and like guys halfway as well then it's possible you're bisexual. It all depends on what makes you happy!
LoveForAll33
July 26th, 2015 7:59am
You are attracted to who you are attracted to. Experiment safely with others. See what you like, dislike, find attractive, or don't. Your sexuality is all up to you.
BluePhoenix69
July 29th, 2015 3:52am
Usually you'll just be able to tell based on how you feel about certain genders or specific people even. I found that I was bisexual because though I felt an attraction to boys I also found that I had crushes on a few of my girl peers. It's difficult at first to figure yourself out but that's what's great about it, being able to find yourself and understand who you are. No matter what anyone says it's not a choice. You are born the way you are even if you're just figuring out who you prefer. You'll be able to know if your gay, lesbian, or bisexual based on how you feel about others and how you interact with yourself and the rest of the world. If anything you'll just know at some point or another but if you're still confused just believe that you'll figure out eventually because you have all the time in the world. You are you and as long as you keep exploring different things you'll figure yourself out eventually.
TheVoiceListener
July 29th, 2015 1:57pm
It depends on who you're sexually and romantically attracted to, and if you feel like you're attracted to them enough. The process of one's self discovery is different in every person, both in path and in time. When you feel comfortable enough with yourself and who you are, you'll know.
its10az
July 29th, 2015 8:37pm
You can just ask a close friend to test it out like kiss them and if you feel anything i guess you are either one. And if you feel the same feeling for both male and female it can be your decision if you want to be a bisexual
resourcefulMirage85
July 29th, 2015 9:50pm
How do you know if you are gay, lesbian or bisexual Well the simple answer is that you just do. Hope this helps.
Rachel5672
July 30th, 2015 3:13am
sexuality is fluid! If you arent sure dont worry about labels and then when one feels right go with it.
FelixtheCat4
July 30th, 2015 7:44pm
I can't trully say if you are one or the other, some people are still confuse on their orientation, but whatever is true to you is who you are.
Anonymous
July 30th, 2015 11:13pm
It's not exactly something that you just "know". You shouldn't worry about putting a label on it. Instead, just focus on who and what makes you happy. I know there will be the fear of being rejected, but you shouldn't change yourself to make someone else happy. Your happiness is more important than you know.
MonkeyMaster
July 31st, 2015 7:23am
Everybody has a different answer for that question. Some people just know it since they're a child, some other discover it when they're old. And it's okay to not know yet. It's also okay to feel like you're something and later to feel like something else. Someday, the answer will come up.
destran
July 31st, 2015 4:42pm
For me, it was easy to tell. I wanted to kiss and be close to a girl the way I always saw girls being close to guys. It took years for me to be comfortable with those feelings, because I knew they weren't common- but after being honest and open about my sexual orientation, I found I wasn't nearly as alone as I thought.
Anonymous
August 1st, 2015 1:01am
I think that it is when you decide what your preference is. When that happens, you'll know because that choice is what will make you happy.
trisjlistens
August 1st, 2015 3:17pm
If you feel like you are being attracted to people of your own gender emotionally and sexually. Gay, boy attracted to boy. Lesbian, girl attracted to girl. Bi, attracted to 2 genders.
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2015 11:58am
either you know, or you try out to know. in this case, either experience helps you know or you just know who you would rather be with.
SupportiveBipolar23
August 2nd, 2015 5:27pm
for being ademisexual pan myself. its all in your heart this has nothing to do with your head. if you find your self talking to you self about it then your head is what is confused but. if your heart starts to skip when you see that one person. it doesnt matter the sex. happiness is why were here today
Dillion
August 5th, 2015 4:29am
We all have different feelings of sexuality. Knowing if you are Gay, lesbian, or bisexual is a little confusing at times, but here is how most figure it out, take three situations, one where you are with the same sex, one with the same sex and the other sex, and one with the other sex, whichever you feel most comfortable in and happy, will determine whether you are gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
alexquinn10
August 5th, 2015 1:22pm
A lot of the time it's just a matter of thinking "hey, I find people of the same sex very attractive and I kind of want to kiss them." Most people feel confused by these thoughts and sometimes deny them. Some people feel uncomfortable by it and react badly in ways they regret. It takes sometime to come to terms with who you are when it comes to sexuality, but in the end, we all figure it out.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2015 6:52pm
It mostly just who you like but sexuality is fluid and someone could be fully straight and still end up someday liking someone of the same sex or the other way around. I'd say just go with the flow and like whoever you like.
PlantGiver
August 6th, 2015 10:01am
If you're questioning about your sexuality it could be possible your anything but heterosexual. However that's not always the case. Search for resources that'll help those who are questioning themselves.
xXHopefullXx
August 6th, 2015 11:04am
If your attracted to someone of the opposite sex it's just love but now you have label for it that fits perfectly :)
Lovetheearthandyourself
August 6th, 2015 5:37pm
If you are attracted to the same gender, you can be gay or bisexual. It is hard to tell and it varies from person to person, but we all find our way.
HamRadio4Life
August 6th, 2015 7:56pm
Determining which gender you're most attracted to helps you to figure out your sexual orientation. It can be difficult but patience is important!