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Am I bisexual if I only get the urge to have sex with the same gender when I'm lonely?

9 Answers
Last Updated: 07/13/2020 at 3:47pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
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Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy


I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
July 3rd, 2017 8:02pm
Bisexuality is attraction to both men and women. If you find both sexually attracted, but one gender is to you more appealing than the other, or you prefer one to the other in certain moments, you are still bisexual. There is no "bisexuality scale" it's alright to find both attractive but still have a preference.
May 9th, 2017 8:14pm
It is possible to only be attracted to a gender sexually. I believe this does make a percentage of you bi. Notice I said a percentage. Attraction is complex and no one is 100% anything. Your percentage for your attraction to the same sex is just a little bigger than others. No problem with that.
October 17th, 2017 5:27pm
You are bisexual if you feel romatically or sexually attracted to male and female genders. You don't have to be 50%/50%
April 16th, 2019 12:46am
I don't believe that you are bisexual if you only want to have sex with someone of the same gender as you only when you are lonely. I believe that it's just the fact that you are lonely and someone that connects with you is of the same gender and you might be thinking of them. So this doesn't really mean that you are bisexual. If you start having thoughts about someone of the same gender at random points or find yourself drawn towards those of a different sex then. I strongly belive that is bisexual, in my opinion of course.
February 19th, 2018 10:38pm
That doesn't necessarily mean you're bisexual. If you consistently feel true emotions for the same sex it could potentially indicate something on the spectrum but only you know what you feel.
April 2nd, 2018 10:13pm
Bisexual is when you are sexually attracted to both Female and Male. If you feel lonely when you think of sex with the same gender. Maybe you just feel like you really want love and only feel that's the only way for it. I know its hard, but we all have to take time to think. In my opinion, if you only think of having sex with the same sex when your lonely is probably because you might think its the only way you will find love.
April 23rd, 2018 4:53pm
Nobody can determine your sexuality for you, that is a path of self discovery, a journey only you can take. Sexuality is a spectrum, some people are on one end, some are in the middle, and some are in between the middle and one end. There is no need to label your sexuality, just live in it. Also, sex shouldn't be the answer to stop the feelings of loneliness.
September 25th, 2018 2:45am
I feel that your sexuality can only be determined by you and you alone. Some people consider themselves bisexual, even if they only feel sexual attraction towards the same gender once in a blue moon, and others don't consider themselves to be bisexual, but rather bicurious or something similar. Sexuality is experienced by everyone differently, and no one else can make this judgment call for you with one hundred percent certainty. No matter what someone says, you might feel as if that doesn't quite fit you and how you experience sexual attraction. The most I can say is to wait to put a label on your orientation; you may decide that you don't feel as if any of them fit how you experience sexuality. And that's okay! Not everyone needs or wants a label. You do you, and do it the best you can.
July 13th, 2020 3:47pm
Hello, Bisexual woman here, I think you may be yes. Perhaps it is repressed within you as our society is very hetero-normative. So when you are sad and feeling vulnerable, that part of you reaches out for comfort. Sexuality isn't based on mood, it's attraction. So if when you do feel this urge, even if you are sad, it's still there and should be acknowledged. I feel it may be a part of you that's been neglected hence it comes up when you are feeling off balance and looking to seek solace. Perhaps look into this, into yourself. There is no shame nor judgement.