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Am I bisexual or am I lesbian?

42 Answers
Last Updated: 11/25/2019 at 4:39am
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Lisa Meighan, MSc Psychology


Hello, I am Lisa and I work in a person-centred approach mixed with cognitive behavioural therapy. I believe we all have the potential to be the best we can be.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous - Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
December 16th, 2014 3:45pm
Only you can know the answer to that. Both labels define sexual attraction, which is a pull toward a particular person in which you feel you want to partake in sexual activities with them. If you identify as female and you feel sexual attraction only toward other female-identifying people, then lesbian might be the right label for you. However, if you, as any gender, feel sexual attraction toward two or more genders, then bisexual might be more appropriate. There are also many other labels that may suit you, such as polysexual (sexual attraction to multiple genders), pansexual (sexual attraction to all genders), asexual (sexual attraction to no genders), or even more specific ones like gray-asexual (sexual attraction in rare, fleeting, or confusing instances) and demisexual (sexual attraction only toward those you've developed a strong emotional bond with). AND they can even be combined -- like demihomosexual (sexual attraction toward those of the same gender you've developed a strong emotional bond with). Sexual attraction isn't the only attraction, either. Perhaps you feel romantic attraction to two genders, but sexual attraction only to other women? Then biromantic homosexual might be the most accurate label. It's a lot of information, and can be overwhelming and confusing. There are a ton of labels out there, because there are so many different people all feeling different things. The good news is, you don't need a label if you don't want one, you don't need to decide on one ASAP, and you can even change your mind in the future if you start to feel differently or discover a label that better suits how you feel. There are even two labels for "I have no idea / this is all confusing" -- wtfsexual and quoisexual. Just remember -- if you feel it, it is valid, even if there isn't a label for it. Labels are made to fit people, people do not fit labels.
December 16th, 2014 3:39pm
If you like men as well as women you are bisexual. As a lesbian you can find men to be attractive but not have any motives other than friendship with them.
June 7th, 2016 3:36pm
That is truly up too you. Some girls may say they're bisexual when in reality they are a lesbian. Some say they're bisexual when they are too afraid to come out while others are actually bisexual. It becomes complicated when you're trying to discover your sexuality. In the end it all comes down to you and how you feel.
December 28th, 2014 1:36am
Sexuality is often not as simple as labels can make things seem. You can look up a Kinsey score test online and see where your result falls -- although it is a bit outdated in terms of gender identities, it can help you think about your sexuality. You can ask yourself about any past relationships and experiences. Which gender (or genders) were you most comfortable with, which do you fantasize about the most? You can also think about the people you find yourself having crushes on or thinking of most often. Do you notice a pattern towards only those who are female/female-identified or do you seem to have an equal amount with those male-identified as well, or somewhere in between? You may also be bisexual but with a slight preference towards females, etc. Know what a big step in self-awareness and discovery it is to be asking yourself these questions!
April 4th, 2015 11:58pm
I think I am Bi cause when I think of girls nude I get horny and when I think of guys I get horny
December 29th, 2014 10:58pm
That depends on how you feel. If you are sexually attracted to girls as well as guys, you are bisexual. If girls are the only ones you are sexually attracted to and you're not sexually attractive to any guys, you are lesbian.
January 3rd, 2015 12:41am
Bisexuality is the sexual attraction to all genders on the spectrum, Lesbianism is romantic and sexual attraction to women, solely. With finding your sexuality and becoming comfortable with whatever you wish to label yourself, or not, you will figure this out :)
March 29th, 2016 10:02pm
If you like boys and girls either romantically or sexually, you are bisexual. If you don't like boys romantically or sexually at all, then you'ew lesbian. Honestly, you won't figure it out in one day because it's easier said then done. Best of luck for figuring out your sexuality :)
December 16th, 2014 4:02am
Only you can answer that! But, it may help to know that bisexuality is a spectrum. It can include people who are mostly attracted to the same gender and sort of attracted to other gender(s), people who are mostly attracted to another gender(s) and sort of attracted to the same gender, and people who are equally attracted to both! So, if you want to identify as a lesbian, you can. If you would like to identify as a bisexual, you can! It's YOUR identity, and only YOU can choose the right sexual identity for yourself.
December 16th, 2014 6:59am
That is really a question that you have to answer yourself. You know you better than anyone else. Just look at yourself and choose what you're comfortable with.
April 30th, 2018 4:12pm
That depends entirely on you! If you experience attraction to only girls/women and you are a girl/woman, then you are probably lesbian. If you experience attraction to girl/women *and* others as well, then you are probably bisexual. Sexuality is fluid, so don't be nervous if you find this changing over time :)
December 15th, 2014 9:10pm
If you like guys AND girls, you are bisexual. But, if you are a girl and like girls only, you are lesbian.
December 16th, 2014 5:58am
If you're bisexual, you are sexually and romantically attracted to both males and females. If you're lesbian, you're only attracted sexually and romantically to women. For several years, I thought that I was bisexual, but a couple years ago, I realized that I was lesbian. It's a confusing thing!
April 11th, 2015 4:52pm
If you still experience attraction to men, you're bisexual, if you're only attracted to women, you're lesbian. Bisexuality is a valid sexuality.
May 9th, 2015 3:50pm
There's no reason to rush to label yourself. The only one who gets to decide whether you're bisexual or lesbian is you! Stay fluid for now and explore your sexuality, both are great. Label yourself when you're comfortable with it and remember that there is no rigid definition for either label, YOU get to decide what you identify most with and you're allowed to have as many exceptions as you like. If at all identify with a label that makes you feel most confident and secure :)
June 18th, 2015 1:09am
What do you think you are? You are how you feel. If you feel as if you love women, then you may be a lesbian.. But, you may be bisexual if you are able to love men the same way. But, you could also be a pan sexual. Which is a non discriminatory way to love.
August 11th, 2015 6:16pm
Only you can know for sure. Being bisexual means being interested in both men and women, whereas being a lesbian means being interested in just women.
September 21st, 2015 4:21pm
You gotta know what you feel about boys to see what you are in this case. Being bisexual doesn't mean liking girls 50% and boys 50%. You can be an homoflexible too!
October 13th, 2015 12:58am
Being bisexual is having an attraction to both genders. Being a lesbian is being attracted to just females only.
October 22nd, 2015 8:23pm
If you are a female who is attracted to another female then lesbian is the label for you. Bisexuality is being attracted to two sexualities. You should not pressure yourself about the labels. We are more than just labels. I personally prefer not to label myself simply because it stresses me out. I love who I love and that's it. We don't need to have labels to be accepted. But that's just how I see it. :)
October 27th, 2015 2:57pm
You can't choose who you fall for. If you fall for a guy and then if you fall for a girl, then you are bisexual. If you fall for only girls over a long period of time, then you might be a lesbian.
November 10th, 2015 3:40pm
There is no way for us to know. If you are attracted to two or more genders you are bi, but if you can't figure it out use whichever label you want. You can also change your mind later, it's okay
January 4th, 2016 5:54pm
Only you can answer that. A bisexual experiences sexual attraction to two genders, typically male and female. A lesbian experiences sexual attraction to women. Try doing some research or visiting some bi/lesbian friendly communities and compare experiences with others. Good luck!
January 5th, 2016 1:09am
Depends,do you like boys and girls? Or do you like just girls? If you like boys and girls you are bisexual if you like just girls you're a lesbian.
January 11th, 2016 3:51pm
If you are attracted to boys/men even a little, you are bisexual. You can feel 80% attracted towards girls, and still be bisexual. You are bisexual if you are attracted to men and women.
January 19th, 2016 4:16pm
Many people who are unsure will identify as whatever they feel applies best *right now*. If you're interested in both guys and girls, you are likely bi. However, if you're seeing a girl and you're unsure whether you're into guys - you could either not worry about labels or just say you're a lesbian. Assuming you're labeling to explain to those you may want to date how you identify, you could simply say "I'm into girls" and leave out the part about guys if you're not actively seeing any. If you are, then maybe tell them you're bi.
March 31st, 2016 12:44am
You are the only one who can tell you this, through time you will work it out.
June 6th, 2016 4:28pm
Do you have feelings towards men? Bisexuality is when you like or have feelings for both girl/boy. If you just have feelings or like women, you could just be lesbian.
June 13th, 2016 1:35pm
Only you can answer that question. Think about it, examine your feelings to other people and take your time, there's no rush.
June 21st, 2016 8:47am
Bisexual will be if you have emotional and physical interest in both sex men and women. Lesbian will be when you have emotional and physical interest in only women.