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Am I bisexual or am I lesbian?

42 Answers
Last Updated: 11/25/2019 at 4:39am
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous - Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
December 16th, 2014 3:45pm
Only you can know the answer to that. Both labels define sexual attraction, which is a pull toward a particular person in which you feel you want to partake in sexual activities with them. If you identify as female and you feel sexual attraction only toward other female-identifying people, then lesbian might be the right label for you. However, if you, as any gender, feel sexual attraction toward two or more genders, then bisexual might be more appropriate. There are also many other labels that may suit you, such as polysexual (sexual attraction to multiple genders), pansexual (sexual attraction to all genders), asexual (sexual attraction to no genders), or even more specific ones like gray-asexual (sexual attraction in rare, fleeting, or confusing instances) and demisexual (sexual attraction only toward those you've developed a strong emotional bond with). AND they can even be combined -- like demihomosexual (sexual attraction toward those of the same gender you've developed a strong emotional bond with). Sexual attraction isn't the only attraction, either. Perhaps you feel romantic attraction to two genders, but sexual attraction only to other women? Then biromantic homosexual might be the most accurate label. It's a lot of information, and can be overwhelming and confusing. There are a ton of labels out there, because there are so many different people all feeling different things. The good news is, you don't need a label if you don't want one, you don't need to decide on one ASAP, and you can even change your mind in the future if you start to feel differently or discover a label that better suits how you feel. There are even two labels for "I have no idea / this is all confusing" -- wtfsexual and quoisexual. Just remember -- if you feel it, it is valid, even if there isn't a label for it. Labels are made to fit people, people do not fit labels.
Fallingfonder
December 16th, 2014 3:39pm
If you like men as well as women you are bisexual. As a lesbian you can find men to be attractive but not have any motives other than friendship with them.
strawberryblonde4315
June 7th, 2016 3:36pm
That is truly up too you. Some girls may say they're bisexual when in reality they are a lesbian. Some say they're bisexual when they are too afraid to come out while others are actually bisexual. It becomes complicated when you're trying to discover your sexuality. In the end it all comes down to you and how you feel.
nualalibby
April 4th, 2015 11:58pm
I think I am Bi cause when I think of girls nude I get horny and when I think of guys I get horny
ChaiChelsea
December 28th, 2014 1:36am
Sexuality is often not as simple as labels can make things seem. You can look up a Kinsey score test online and see where your result falls -- although it is a bit outdated in terms of gender identities, it can help you think about your sexuality. You can ask yourself about any past relationships and experiences. Which gender (or genders) were you most comfortable with, which do you fantasize about the most? You can also think about the people you find yourself having crushes on or thinking of most often. Do you notice a pattern towards only those who are female/female-identified or do you seem to have an equal amount with those male-identified as well, or somewhere in between? You may also be bisexual but with a slight preference towards females, etc. Know what a big step in self-awareness and discovery it is to be asking yourself these questions!
Anonymous
December 29th, 2014 10:58pm
That depends on how you feel. If you are sexually attracted to girls as well as guys, you are bisexual. If girls are the only ones you are sexually attracted to and you're not sexually attractive to any guys, you are lesbian.
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2015 12:41am
Bisexuality is the sexual attraction to all genders on the spectrum, Lesbianism is romantic and sexual attraction to women, solely. With finding your sexuality and becoming comfortable with whatever you wish to label yourself, or not, you will figure this out :)
Anonymous
March 29th, 2016 10:02pm
If you like boys and girls either romantically or sexually, you are bisexual. If you don't like boys romantically or sexually at all, then you'ew lesbian. Honestly, you won't figure it out in one day because it's easier said then done. Best of luck for figuring out your sexuality :)
MonBon
April 30th, 2018 4:12pm
That depends entirely on you! If you experience attraction to only girls/women and you are a girl/woman, then you are probably lesbian. If you experience attraction to girl/women *and* others as well, then you are probably bisexual. Sexuality is fluid, so don't be nervous if you find this changing over time :)
Erynn
December 16th, 2014 4:02am
Only you can answer that! But, it may help to know that bisexuality is a spectrum. It can include people who are mostly attracted to the same gender and sort of attracted to other gender(s), people who are mostly attracted to another gender(s) and sort of attracted to the same gender, and people who are equally attracted to both! So, if you want to identify as a lesbian, you can. If you would like to identify as a bisexual, you can! It's YOUR identity, and only YOU can choose the right sexual identity for yourself.
Anonymous
December 16th, 2014 6:59am
That is really a question that you have to answer yourself. You know you better than anyone else. Just look at yourself and choose what you're comfortable with.
Nikimae42
October 3rd, 2017 2:39am
I struggled with this question at first. However, I have finally come to terms that to me the labels are not important and do not define how I feel. I have also accepted it is okay to not be for sure and to explore yourself and what is true to you. Sexuality is a difficult thing to express into a label, especially for myself, so I try to keep an open mind and just try to better understand myself every day. In the end, the label is not as important as you understanding what feels right for you.
freshLove97
June 13th, 2016 1:35pm
Only you can answer that question. Think about it, examine your feelings to other people and take your time, there's no rush.
wallflowermusic98
December 15th, 2014 9:10pm
If you like guys AND girls, you are bisexual. But, if you are a girl and like girls only, you are lesbian.
Greatlistener87
June 21st, 2016 8:47am
Bisexual will be if you have emotional and physical interest in both sex men and women. Lesbian will be when you have emotional and physical interest in only women.
Enigmatica
September 6th, 2016 11:26am
Ask yourself this instead; Do you like girls, and girls alone, or something similar, or do you like boys and girls? Simple as that. Identity is a tough thing, especially at young age, experiment around and find out what you are for yourself :)
Anonymous
February 14th, 2017 5:14pm
When it comes to sexual preferences; only one person in the world knows their own sexual orientation. There are many terms out there, that people don't know about. If you feel innately and you have had experiences that made you think that you are bisexual or a lesbian. Good for you! But if you are young and a teenager, you'll have plenty of time to discover who you are, if you are person who is an adult and realising this, no journey to discovering your sexual orientation is the same as everyone else's. Take your time and figure yourself out who you are, because when you do. The people who will love and support you will be there regardless, as they still see you, rather than your sexual preference for either being bisexual or a lesbian.
Sodiumforsaltytimes
June 27th, 2017 6:02pm
You don't have to label yourself, it's 2017! Like who you like, love who you love. You have time to figure out your sexuality, try seeing if you're more attracted to girls only or both girls and boys! It's hard to completely figure it out, but your sexuality is valid and in no need to be labeled.
UntilThen
July 17th, 2017 6:11am
Sexuality is on a spectrum, you may lean towards women more while still being attracted to men or you can be attracted to both genders equally. If you experience attraction to both genders that is considered bisexual while lesbian means exclusively attracted to other women. I wouldn't worry too much about the label though. Just love who you love and be happy.
Missingperiodsandcommas
November 20th, 2017 9:08am
As we are discovering more and more, the awareness that sexuality is not a straight line, no either or. Sexuality is a spectrum of which you can fall anywhere on it however, just because you feel one way one day doesn’t mean you cannot change your mind and become curious or inclined towards the opposite end of said spectrum. Sexuality can be fluid like gender. Say you have a rising interest in women, that doesn’t immediately make you a lesbian, especially if your interest in men/nonbinary etc stays a constant. No one demands that sexuality be labelled. ‘Fluctuating and evolving’ is something I hear a lot of in my community and I stand by that. Embrace your feelings and urges, explore if you want to, whatever the outcome you will be accepted and perhaps you’ll learn something about yourself in the process.
blissfulSunshine81
March 8th, 2018 11:38pm
It depends. I am bi myself. If you find you are liking a girl the same a boy, you are bi. If you like only girls, you are lesbian.
Anonymous
April 24th, 2018 3:22pm
I think that deep down only you have the ability to answer that for your self. It may take time, but as life goes on I believe you will be able to know yourself better. There is no rush in finding a label, it is best to just feel your feelings without without worrying about what they might mean.
lavenderbiscuit
November 25th, 2019 4:39am
The only person that can answer this question is you! Labels can be finicky because for some, they're something concrete to hold onto, and for others, it can be something restricting. There is absolutely no need to rush through figuring your sexuality out-- this will come to you with time and as you meet more people. Speaking from my own experience, it took me a long time to figure out my own sexuality. I fluctuated between probably 3-4 different labels, all within a few years time span. And none of them felt right, either-- not until I found a label that best fit me and just felt intrinsically right. I really wish you well in your journey of self discovery!
Anonymous
June 5th, 2018 11:09pm
I’m not entirely sure of your story but for the most part, if you feel sexual attraction towards guys as well as girls you’re most likely bi. You could also be homo flexible which means that you’re a lesbian who occasionally is sexually attracted to guys. Really it all boils down to what you feel fits you the best and makes you the most comfortable. Hope this helps!
Anonymous
September 17th, 2018 10:22pm
You are bisexual if you are sexually or just generally attracted to both genders. You are lesbian if you're only attracted to females, not both genders. You can find both genders attractive but only want a relationship with females, which would make you a lesbian. You could also find both genders attractive and be happy with a relationship with either gender which would make you bisexual. However, don't think about it too hard because I think that you'll know yourself if you think about it a little. As long as you're happy and comfortable with you're choice, then it's fine.
Aayla
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
June 17th, 2019 7:51pm
It all depends on what your feelings towards men are. You can try to picture yourself with men, both in sexual and romantic contexts, and try to analyze how you respond to such ideas, what your emotions are when you fantasize about it. If you feel attracted towards men, if you respond with enthusiasm and desire to those scenarios and you have the same response when you picture yourself with women, then you are bisexual. If you find women attractive, but you don't feel the same about men, that would make you a lesbian.
dancingBeauty97
June 6th, 2016 4:28pm
Do you have feelings towards men? Bisexuality is when you like or have feelings for both girl/boy. If you just have feelings or like women, you could just be lesbian.
ivoryOwl5227
March 31st, 2016 12:44am
You are the only one who can tell you this, through time you will work it out.
Anonymous
January 19th, 2016 4:16pm
Many people who are unsure will identify as whatever they feel applies best *right now*. If you're interested in both guys and girls, you are likely bi. However, if you're seeing a girl and you're unsure whether you're into guys - you could either not worry about labels or just say you're a lesbian. Assuming you're labeling to explain to those you may want to date how you identify, you could simply say "I'm into girls" and leave out the part about guys if you're not actively seeing any. If you are, then maybe tell them you're bi.
33kirstiechu33
January 11th, 2016 3:51pm
If you are attracted to boys/men even a little, you are bisexual. You can feel 80% attracted towards girls, and still be bisexual. You are bisexual if you are attracted to men and women.