Am I too old (18) to even change my sexuality? I always identified as straight but now start questionning myself, as I have a crush on a girl. But does this automatically mean I'm bisexual?
Last Updated: 03/23/2021 at 6:31pm
Christie Belle, Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy
I am a U.S. Air Force veteran and a ex-Army spouse. I am a divorced mother of two teenage boys, my youngest son has a diagnosis of autism, which I am very passionate about.
Top Rated Answers
There never is an age were we stop finding parts of ourselves; where we stop growing. It can take a lot of time for certain feelings like these to surface. I find sexuality to be, to an extent, a spectrum. Some may have more physical attraction to one gender, but are able to romantically be involved with the opposite gender. The label one associates with their preferance can be flexible- Such an encounter can be a one off feeling, or also likely can show that you have a preferance for others of the same gender. It's very healthy and normal to have such feelings.
There's no right or wrong time to discover your sexuality, everyone has a different path! If you are attracted to both boys and girls, you are bisexual. Maybe you never realized before because you have a preference for boys, it's totally possible and very common to have a preference for a gender but it still means you are bisexual.
No, there is no set age on which to determine your sexuality. Sexuality is fluid and evolves and you might discover you like different things then you did before and that is perfectly okay. Just bevause you might like the same sex does not automatically make you bisexual or gay. You could be pansexual or you could just be someone that likes to experiment. Labels are just that, labels. You don't have to have a word define who you are and who you like. No matter what as long as you are happy that is what matters most.
Your sexuality is deeply personal and it's your decision as to what you identify as! Whatever label feels right, you can identify with it and change it at any time. I know many people who have explored their sexualities in their 30s or 40s. I myself have explored my sexuality past the age of 18 and have changed my own identity according to what i felt I identified with (i.e. I was bisexual and now am pansexual). Sexuality is in fact a spectrum and your sexuality may look different than someone else's. It is never too late to change :) You also do not have to identify with these labels if you don't want to; it's really up to your and your comfort level.
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