As a bisexual woman, how do I combat biphobia in the dating sphere?
Last Updated: 04/24/2018 at 3:23pm
Melissa Strauss, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.
Top Rated Answers
Approach people as you would anyone else, but since bisexuality isn't quite as universally accepted, be prepared for anything. Try not to approach people that seem overly judgmental or harsh, they may cause you grief. But just because you're bisexual doesn't mean you can't approach a person in a non-platonic way the way any other person would
My best answer would be to educate. Educating people means getting rid of untrue stereotypes, such as that bisexuals are greedy, confused or cheaters.
Stand firm on your identity as a bisexual woman. Biphobia is as common in the heterosexual dating sphere as it is in the homosexual dating sphere. The best way to combat it, is to reinforce your position on sexuality by standing firm - a lot of people don't understand that sexuality is a very fluid thing and is less likely to be "black and white" i.e. If one is gay, then they're definitely not straight, etc. Bisexuality is as valid as every other sexual identity, and as such should never be counted as "being indecisive."
In my experience, people are afraid of what they don't understand. This may be why even in the homosexual community there can be just as many fearful, rude, or confused comments about bisexuality as there are in the heterosexual community. I often hear comments like "just pick one" or "get off the fence about it." This demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of bisexuality as indecisiveness or confusion about sexual orientation that many people think is just a temporary transition between gay and straight. In this case, education is a worthwhile endeavor and can go a long way. Try explaining to people that you are decisively attracted to both males and females and why in ways that they might be able to relate to. Show them that you are confident in who you are and through mutual respect we can combat biphobia.
It's difficult, but I think that it's just a matter of trusting your gut. I'm bi too, and when I was dating I'd be interested in someone, even though they would say biphobic things. I found that I was better off moving on to people who didn't judge me for my sexuality. It can be helpful to follow bi pride blogs/pages to make you feel better. Having other bi people to talk to as well helps a ton! So yeah--if you really like someone and think it's worth trying to talk to them about biphobia, go for it. If someone is really stuck in their biphobic ways, you don't owe them anything.
By being yourself and only opening up about your orientation when you feel the person has earned the right to know something so personal about yourself. Just because you got asked out by a guy (and he pays the bill, excuse the stereotype) doesn't mean you liable to anything. Be yourself. It's always best to be yourself, but when on the poker table, hide your cards, until you truly feel the time is right.
You just have to be honest. If you have nothing to hide, and someone rejects you because of your sexuality then it's their loss 😉
the best thing to do is to educate people about being bisexual, and how it differs from other, albeit similar sexualities. it is a plus if you live in a more conservative country/place.
From my dating experience, I have found that to combat any sort of phobia against your preferences, you must first begin with your closest loved ones then work out from there.
I believe if someone is biphobic, they are not worth your time. Maybe having a conversation with a person might help them realize their own biphobia.
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