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Can I be attracted to a gender but not in a sexual way? Like I want to be with them but not have sex with them?

46 Answers
Last Updated: 07/13/2021 at 8:01am
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 26th, 2015 10:45pm
That's called romantic attraction. You can experience romantic attraction but not sexual attraction, or the other way around, or both or neither. You can also experience romantic attraction to a different group of people than you experience sexual attraction.
Anonymous
December 13th, 2016 6:52am
Yes! You can be romantically attracted to someone without being sexually attracted to them. Romantic and sexual attraction are distinctly different.
avvvvvhotpotatojkimnothot
May 17th, 2016 4:06pm
Yes, that is called being asexual, I would know, I'm an asexual too. Asexuals experience romantic emotions but does not have the urge to have sex with them.
Anonymous
November 18th, 2016 10:07am
Absolutely! Romantic and Sexual attraction are two independent things, and they're mix-and-match too! Find whatever makes you comfortable and go with that, there's no wrong answer!
laufey
November 14th, 2016 3:50am
Of course. This can either be more of a domestic attraction or could mean you are somewhere on the asexual spectrum.
avocadoallyson
February 7th, 2017 7:57pm
Yes! You do not have to be sexually attracted to anyone if you don't want to be. You can still have a healthy and fulfilling relationship with someone without ever desiring sex.
AmandaAbroad
September 13th, 2016 10:58am
This is often seen referred to as a "romantic orientation", i.e. homoromantic, heteroromantic, panromantic, aromantic. It can align with a person's sexuality, but it can also be a separate category. For example, a person can be biromantic, but hetero- or homosexual.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2017 9:36am
Yes! This is totally okay. Take for example you are attracted to people of the same gender, but not sexually, this would be classified as "homoromantic". You can take any sexuality and switch the -sexual to -romantic and it is still completely valid.
Anonymous
November 20th, 2017 7:18am
Yes! This kind of attraction is purely romantic attraction and there are labels in the lgbtq+ community for purely romantic types of attraction! Biromantic, panromantic, etc! It's completely normal!
spences
January 16th, 2018 12:05am
Yes, of course! There are a lot of people who don't feel the need to label themselves, as sexuality is very often a fluid concept, and we shouldn't feel the need to tie ourselves down to one defining point.
organticPeace28
February 13th, 2018 2:17pm
Of course. Attraction can be romantic and platonic as well as sexual so you can feel any or none of them or any combination of these.
CecilyV
May 23rd, 2016 4:28pm
Yes, sexual affection can differentiate from romantic and platonic affection, this can vary from person to person and even in such case, gender to gender.
AmethystUnicorn
July 2nd, 2018 3:01am
Yes! You can most definitely have only romantic attraction, but not be sexually attracted to a gender.
Poet021
March 2nd, 2020 5:44am
Yes, you can be attracted to any gender in any way. You can want to be with them and not want to have sex with them. It just means that you're romantically or aesthetically attracted to that gender. Please don't feel like what you feel is invalid. It isn't. There are panromantic, biromantic, homoromantic, and heteroromantic people. And asexual people. What they feel is valid and real. And so are you. And in the end of the day, you love a human. The gender barely matters these days. It's about who we are comfortable with and how. Good luck with discovering yourself and your interest and feel free to reach out to safe spaces like 7cups whenever you need.
Anonymous
April 14th, 2020 2:23pm
Yes. From my own experience there are certain qualities that I am attracted to and similarities in personality. However, those relationships were only as friends. When you have engaging and meaningful conversations, you just enjoy each other’s company. Growing up, majority of my friends were from the opposite gender. I always felt like I related to them more. I got their feedback and viewpoints on relationship issues. It just felt easier. I found all of them to be like family to me. I never saw them as anything more than that as that would be really odd.
Greatlistener87
March 21st, 2016 3:55am
Yes that is possible. Maybe you just like that persons energy or their personality draws you to them. Just be clear to that person that you only enjoy their company and nothing else. To make sure there are no complications.