How can I break the news to my conservative parents?
Last Updated: 05/01/2018 at 5:40pm
Andrea Tuck, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.
Top Rated Answers
It's very contradicting in the question already. Conservative parents means opposing you irregular news. No matter how you break the news, the sequence is still the same. Just do whatever you want, if it's good for you, and won't bring harm to anybody. You do what you want to do.
This is a rather vague question. I'm assuming that this is referring to coming out a part of the LGBTQIA community. I have to start out by saying there is no one way to do this. It's different for everyone but is even more difficult for people with parents who may not be so understanding. I think the first thing you should do is talk about LGBTQIA people and find out their thoughts. They may be more lax in their opinions than you initially believed or may not have issues with the LGBTQIA community at all. Sometimes conservatives are only conservative when it comes to some things. However, don't hang your hopes on them being okay with the LGBTQIA community. All I can really say is, try to ease into it. Get them more used to the idea of LGBTQIA people. Understand though that just because they may initially be against you being LGBTQIA doesn't mean they don't love you, but don't think that means you should accept their hatred or abuse. You are beautiful and wonderful and you don't need their approval, no matter how much you want it. You will always find people who are willing to love you.
Be safe. If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend/date mate the come out with them, introduce them as your girlfriend/boyfriend/date mate. But if you're currently not dating anyone then you could either write your parents a letter, or talk to them about it. Just stay safe, and don't feel forced to come out. Some people never come out due to dangerous circumstances.
It's going to be tough. Don't be like me, and let it slip out accidentally. Approach your parents, get them to sit down with you and tell them. Explain to them that you hope your sexuality doesn't change their view of you, and that you hope they will love you just the same. If they react badly, try to put yourself in their shoes. Give them time to think about it, it is a huge chunk of information to digest.
Whenever you have to break news to your parents, don't worry if they are liberal or conservative. They are your parents and although they may initially respond in a way that can seem harsh, they are your parents and they love you very much.
This may be tough, however, I would say to find out exactly what you are going to say, sit them down, and before anything just remind them that you are their child, and they love you. If they try and argue try your best not to get mad and just explain your reasoning behind this. Everything will be okay, so do not stress too much about how they feel, your parents are your parents.
If you feel that conditions aren't favourable and/or it might get you a lot of trouble (especially underaged), it might not be a good time to tell.
That might not be the best idea, depending on your situation. Especially if you live with them or you're financially dependent on them, it could end poorly for you. I think that the best coming out advice I've seen was hope for the best but plan for the worst. I've heard stories of very conservative people coming around and accepting their children, and liberal parents who don't accept them. Be ready for all outcomes. If you rely on your parents, it might be in your best interest to wait to come out until you don't. I don't know your situation, so I can't tell you what to do, but you'll need to use your best judgement. On the other hand, If you're financially independent/could be if needed, then you can think about coming out. I'm partial to the letter, because it allows you to make sure you have all your thoughts out there, so you're not left nervous and forgetting something. It also means that you can't be cut off. There are some great examples online on how to write a good coming out letter. I know that it can be hard to stay in the closet, but sometimes you have to wait for your own safety.
Slowly and nicely. Assure your parents that no matter what is going on with you. You will still do what they want you to do and you will still be there for them.
It is definitely really difficult to come out-- I can't even imagine. I'd say that before coming out, you need to make sure that coming out is safe for you. It might be beneficial to wait until you're financially independent before breaking the news. The most important thing is that you stay safe.
Explain how you feel to them in detail and ask them to be supportive. You are probably scared and sad about how you feel and want all the support you can get. And if they can't accept you for being yourself there are hundreds of others who will accept you.
It depends? if they knew, would you feel safe? ask yourself what is the worst that could happen. then ask yourself if thats what they would really do. all in all, it's up to you when and how you break the news. if you feel you will be safe in your home, then consider a note, if you want to talk to them face to face, consider sitting them around the dinner table. even if they dont accept you at first, their rejection might just mask confusion. they'll come around, you got this!
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