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How can I come out to my friends?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 05/31/2021 at 2:18pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner


I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.

Top Rated Answers
April 22nd, 2015 4:21am
It sort of depends on their views/knowledge of LGBTQ. Some people know a lot about it and recognize it as a completely okay facet of someone, and those individuals you can probably just casually mention it and they'll be okay. Unfortunately there are others you cannot do that with either because they know very little about LGBTQ or they have been taught it's bad. With those individual I think it's very important to reiterate that nothing about you is changing and you are still the friend and confidant to them you've always been, and let them know that they are important to you and thought they should know what you know about yourself. Good luck!
September 1st, 2015 7:08pm
When i came out, instead of having that "deep" talk with my friends I just blurted it out, it really seemed to work.
September 4th, 2016 2:37pm
There are no right or wrong methods to come out to your friends. Calling someone a friend means you trust them and you are comfortable with them. Having to tell your friends what you really are could be very challenging especially if you fear their reaction. If they accept you for you are then that's great! you should be friends with those kind of people. If they don't accept you for who you are then you just found out that you should find better people to hang out with. Good luck!
September 26th, 2016 6:30pm
That's an extremely hard question. What I suggest is leave little hints here and there to see what they might feel or think about people who are gay. That way you can test the water and be sure they are safe to enter. That's what I did, that way when I told them I was not surprised to see they accepted me for who I was; most of them. There are those who I'm friends with that don't know because I know they have a strong beliefs against gays and I'd rather not create conflict. Not sure if that's the best decision because if my friends love me for who I am, their opinion of a gay person of color wouldn't matter.
January 9th, 2017 7:09pm
When you come out to friends, it might feel like there's a lot of pressure; however, sometimes the best way to do it is nonchalantly. Consider just sitting them down and having a casual conversation. Some of your friends might have trouble understanding your sexuality/gender; if so, be patient and explain it to them. If a friend rejects you or makes you feel bad about who you are, remember that you don't have to continue to be around someone if they don't respect you. Most of all, be cool-headed and confident. If there is no danger, coming out is a good thing. You should be proud of who you are, and hopefully, your friends will be too.
April 11th, 2017 1:49am
There isn't one specific way to do it, I don't think. I briefly mentioned it to one friend when I came out, and another I had to sit him down and tell him. Another I made a joke and that was how I came out. It's different for everyone! Try to figure out their stance beforehand to know how to tell them, and don't ever come out to them if the two of you are fighting. It's a bad idea. Good luck!
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
September 24th, 2019 7:17pm
You can wait for a quiet moment and then just tell them you've always wanted to share something with them, and go on explaining how you feel, how you found it out, what it means for you to have this identity. Be open, be yourself: those who really love you will stay by your side no matter what! You can try to come out first with the ones closest to you, or the ones who have already expressed LGBT inclusive views. This way, you'll face your coming outs little by little, starting with those who make you more comfortable, making sure you'll have them by your side as you face the next coming outs.
May 31st, 2021 2:18pm
Hey, coming out can be a difficult experience if people around us are not supportive and accepting, I hear it's a big decision and you're wondering how to come out to your friends , maybe asking some questions may help , how do you feel about coming out to them ? What do you think could their possible reactions be ? What makes it important for you to come out to them ? If a friend were to come out to you, how would you react? What may help you to be more accepting of the news ? Etc , personally I feel friends should be supportive of us, and accept us in every form , we still are the same and the friendship should stay intact , then probably making them aware about different gender orientations and sexualities, gently telling them about yourself and assuring you'd really appreciate if they be supportive and treat you like they did before. I hope it goes well . Best wishes, in all cases remember you're not alone and you certainly don't need to bother about other's opinions so long you accept yourself . Much love ❤
January 27th, 2015 7:53pm
Make sure you have one friend who you know will be supportive then gradually tell more friends, once you have a good support system of friends it will get easier every time :)
May 26th, 2015 10:48pm
As long as you feel 100% comfortable and ready to do so then you can speak to them when you're all alone. Just say you really trust them and feel like you want to tell them because you trust them. Then take it from there :) Good Luck and congrats on doing so!!! :)
August 3rd, 2015 6:54pm
Well, first you need to know how they will react, talk a little bit about the sexuality. Example: "did you hear that gay marriage is legal in the U.S.?" That will give you an idea of what they think. If you don't feel comfortable with how they reacted then don't tell them. If you are comfortable with telling them, just flat out say it.
September 21st, 2015 11:47pm
Make sure they are friends you trust! Just remember how good and free you will feel after you tell them. :)
May 9th, 2016 1:44am
They are your friends and they will want to know. Be honest and tell them, just explain more in detail of why u told them and why you made the choice. Tell them also how you feel about the whole thing so they will understand better.
May 20th, 2016 7:40pm
Just be yourself!
May 22nd, 2016 1:26am
July 5th, 2016 1:04am
Congratulations on considering coming out! It's a big deal, and there are many different ways you can go about doing it. It's ultimately up to you. Some people choose to say it outright, while others decide to be a little more subtle, or even humorous with it. Make sure that you're coming out in a way that makes YOU feel comfortable.
July 11th, 2016 11:04pm
Be open and honest with them. If they are truly your friends, they will accept you as you are. If they do not, then even though it might be difficult, it's best for you to move on and find people who will love you for who you are.
August 23rd, 2016 7:39pm
Make sure you're safe first! Being in a safe environment it really important when coming out. Prepare yourself for the worst and hope for the best.
July 9th, 2018 3:36pm
Do it at a time that feels right. Maybe start by telling friends you really trust. They might be a bit confused at first but after you explain it I am sure they will be supportive.