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How can I cope with my family not accepting me as being gay?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 07/07/2020 at 4:55pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Johanna Liasides, MSc


I work with youth and young adults to help them improve depressive symptoms and self-esteem as well as effectively address family, relationship and peer conflicts.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
March 31st, 2015 10:01pm
An excellent resource for this question is the It Gets Better project on YouTube. Just go onto YouTube and search It Gets Better. Millions of people in your exact situation have made videos telling their story about how it was hard, and how it got better.
June 8th, 2015 6:41am
Society is not ready to accept LGBTQ... That's why this social movement exists. For now it's just your family and later it could be more people everywhere: university, work, etc... But what important is that your life is not their life. Today it's very hard to be yourself but people who can do it end with true life and true love. You can get help from people who accept you. Today we're trying to change the state of this world. More and more people are becoming ready to accept us. When we can't change people in the group around us, even when it's your family, we should not give up, we still can switch the group in future. But try to be a Listener for what your family tell to you. Be honest and say everything that you feel. If you will see that your family is not ready to change then it's their way but you will be proud of being honest with yourself and that gives motivation to be yourself.
September 22nd, 2015 8:15pm
This is one of the most difficult issues to deal with for LGBTQ+ people. Not being accepted by your family is painful, but the best thing you can do is learn to accept yourself. It also helps to build friendships with other LGBTQ+ people who can support you and are willing to accept you for who you really are.
March 31st, 2015 3:08am
Not being accepted right away can be very difficult. But people do change. It took you some time to feel confident enough in your sexuality to come out, give your family a little time to accept the same thing. It may take longer than you'd like, but I promise it gets better, and people change.
May 18th, 2015 12:49am
Understand that your family doesn't define you. The important thing is that you accept who you are; others will follow
April 8th, 2015 11:15am
I understand how this would cause a big concern for you. It must be really hard tp cope with this, and I want you to know that you are not alone. Unfortunately, you cannot control the actions or feelings of others. You could try hanging out more with friends or find some people who have or are experiencing the same type of issue you are going through with your family.
February 8th, 2016 4:59pm
If your family doesn't accept you being gay you shouldn't let it beat you up. You told them the truth and its up to them accept it or not . But their always gonna love you no matter what.
June 21st, 2016 8:48am
Sometimes having family members who are traditional minded can be tough. Sometimes you will just have to show them that you are happy just the say you are and that your choice is final.
July 7th, 2020 4:55pm
Having unsupportive parents can be really challenging. I'm so sorry you are going through this! My number one tip is that you could find other people who accept you for who you are, like friends, other relatives, neighbours, teachers, etc. You could also interact with people online - in fact, we have an amazing community dedicated to LGBTQ+ support right here on 7 cups. If you're comfortable, you could talk to your parents about this, and gently tell them that it is okay to be gay. But please be careful if you do this, and make sure it is safe to tell them.
February 29th, 2016 7:44pm
I like the way you worded this question. That's exactly it, you 'cope' with it. You can't change how your parents think just as much as they can't change your sexuality. But with knowing this they should know that your sexuality doesn't define nor change who you already were. You are still the child they raised and having a preference of who you love doesn't change that at all. Parents need to learn that not accepting their children being gay is not accepting their children for who they are. But that is a fault on their part and not your own.
April 18th, 2016 12:05pm
Some people cannot accept other people when they confess that they are gay. Keep in mind that your family might not accept it now, but they might accept it later on.
July 16th, 2018 11:17am
It's difficult for families to accept a person's homosexuality however it's really normal to be a gay. You can make them understand, show them what's going in world with LGBTQ community. Society is changing its views on it. Your sexuality doesn't define you. You are a human regardless of sexuality. You can make them understand all this. Hopefully it can change their view and you will able to cope.
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
June 10th, 2019 7:51pm
It's a very difficult situation, but you can still find supportive people who will be by your side! The most important thing is to work on your confidence to keep your strength and self-love despite your family's views. Then, you can try to look for the support of friends or other people you trust, and from the LGBTQ+ community. Many of them have been through the same as you, their support can be extremely helpful. Just remember you're never alone! As for your family, you can make sure that your family knows that you're always gonna be there to answer their questions, if they ever decide to give a chance to this part of you and get to know you better.
April 21st, 2020 4:03am
You cannot control other people, but you can control your reactions to them. You cannot make them accept you, and you cannot, and should not, change because of what they believe. You need to let your family know that your preferences don't define you as a person, and you cannot change the fact that you like the same sex. Coping mechanisms can include things like journaling or drawing, painting or working with clay. Everyone's coping mechanisms are different, so you need to try different things to see what suits you best in order to find a proper outlet for your feelings.