Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How can I find out if I’m gay, but too awkward to try anything?

2 Answers
Last Updated: 11/26/2019 at 9:44am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Christie Belle, Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy


I am a U.S. Air Force veteran and a ex-Army spouse. I am a divorced mother of two teenage boys, my youngest son has a diagnosis of autism, which I am very passionate about.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
July 8th, 2019 2:15pm
It's not necessary to experiment in order to determine your sexuality. Your feelings and physical attraction are enough to identify as gay, if you only experience it towards people of your same gender, you don't require any "proof". Working on self-awareness can benefit your confidence, making you ready to finally experiment, but you can do it with your own times, it's nkt necessary to do it right now to prove your identity to yourself. I'm sure that time, self-work and contact with the LGBT community (either in person or online) can prepare you to take that big step when you'll want to, but there's no need to push yourself.
November 26th, 2019 9:44am
I'm gay, and I get asked this question a lot. First off, you are not alone in questioning your sexual orientation. Know that many, many, many people are also and have also asked themselves those very same questions. Second, know that no one but yourself can find the answer! It's YOUR identity, and no parent, friend, mentor, or stranger can figure it out for you. There is no one way that gay people act or look – gay people are just as diverse as straight people. It may help to journal to sort out your feelings. You might also seek out the LGBTQ community in some manner - online or in real life for further support to explore your feelings. But take your time. There is no need to rush into a decision or tell anyone about your exploration or come out gay. Clarity often comes with time, so give yourself a chance to fully discover your sexuality. And if it does turn out that you are gay, remember that there is nothing wrong with being gay. it is just part of who you are.