Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How can I know if the person I am in love with have my same sexual orientation?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 02/15/2021 at 3:59pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
August 26th, 2019 12:28pm
The only way to be sure is to ask them. Maybe you can try to inquire about their views on LGBT first, so you'll know if it's "safe" to ask, or you can try to learn more about their previous partners and experiences. Just remember that whatever you find out is no guarantee, they could have a different orientation than what it seems, or they might have hidden it for some reasons. So ultimately, asking is really the only way to be sure.
February 24th, 2015 7:43am
Ask a friend, ask them about celebrities they think are cute, play it casual. And don't sweat it.
February 26th, 2015 3:39am
There is no way to fully know what another person's sexual orientation is if you don't ask them. You can try and find clues, but, in the end, the only way you will fully know, is if you ask the person yourself.
April 4th, 2015 6:59pm
The only way to know is to ask them directly or ask people that know that person well enough. For example you can ask his/her close friends or siblings.
April 4th, 2015 11:03pm
Well you could politely ask, or someone that knows them. Its always better to be sure than to define what someone is by the way they act or dress--after all, these things have nothing to do with that!
April 8th, 2015 9:50pm
Honesty is the best policy. Generally, when unsure of someone's sexual orientation, simply asking is the best way to go. It may sound blunt, or brusque, but you don't want to mistakenly try to get involved with someone that may not have any interest in you in that capacity. However; specific wording and how you approach the person is something that is all on your end/in your hands as it were. It just boils down to being open and honest with another person.
May 9th, 2015 3:02pm
Just ask them casually what sexual orientation they identify with. Or you can ask their friends about their relationship history
May 31st, 2015 3:54pm
You can't know for sure unless they tell you, either after you've asked them about it or because they decided to tell you.
June 18th, 2015 5:42am
Never make assumptions about someone else's sexual orientation. That can make them uncomfortable. Ask kindly or watch who they date. Never base your opinions on rumors or hearsay.
July 7th, 2015 1:50am
The only good way is to ask them, otherwise you'd have to stereotype or go behind their backs and ask one of their friends
August 18th, 2015 5:18pm
I'm bi-sexual myself and there was this one girl that I really fancied, however, I didn't know if she was straight or into girls like me. So I wondered how I would be able to find out whether she was of the same sexual-orientation. It turns out she was bi-sexual (but she had a boyfriend sad times) and I found out by just talking to her and watching her actions. She acted a lot like I did and I definitely noticed her checking out a few girls and then during the middle of a conversation it cropped up that she was Bi so I asked her and she said yes. Most people don't actually mind being asked what their sexual orientation is so if you're confident then just go ahead and ask! If not you may have to do a bit of research on the person you're in love with.
January 25th, 2016 9:07pm
The only way to be completely sure is if they tell you. Don't assume peoples sexual orientations as you can often be wrong.
August 29th, 2016 7:22am
The only way to truly know is to ask them! You can be upfront and ask them or you can ask about their past relationships.
September 6th, 2016 5:49am
The best way to find out is to bring up the topic in casual conversation, at least this was you know if they are super supportive or against your orientation.
September 25th, 2017 12:30am
Communication is important. You can't assume somebody's sexual orientation without them stating their preferences or sexuality. You can try to base it on stereotypes but that is not a good way and can cause problems. Talk to them or others that know more about them.
February 15th, 2021 3:59pm
It's simple. Ask they person. If you are shy, ask indirectly. Ask about their likes and dislikes, ask if they ever had a girlfriend or boyfriend, you will easily get to know.