How can I know my sexuality?
Last Updated: 04/19/2021 at 11:50pm
Jennifer Geib, LCSWR
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Top Rated Answers
people told me to think of sexuality as a scale. One side is being attracted to women and one side men. But i quickly realized that its much more complicated than that. To be honest to find your own sexuality i feel it comes in time.
Labels are so easy to give, right? But sometimes they don't fit. When they don't, we look for other ones. Guess what? It doesn't have to matter. But, if you really want a name for your attraction, try imagining arousing scenarios with people of varying genders and write down your feelings. Say it out loud: "I'm a lesbian." "I'm gay." "I'm bisexual." And so forth, all sexualities that you're hesitating between. Whatever feels right is probably the right answer. Just remember that no one but you can know. Best wishes :)
Some people judge a person's sexuality by experience, on the scale, and etc. but the one thing that really matters is that do you feel comfortable with it? I once asked myself over and over the question "Am I gay?' but I was not ready to answer it. I was seeing a counselor at the time in High School who gave me some good advice which is: Do not feel the need to rush yourself into a label, especially if it feels forced. Take your time the answer will come to you and if then you still do not want to label yourself then don't. If you want to date a girl then do so, but if you want to date a guy do that then. You do not have to explain yourself to others if you do not want to.
Think it out , lay down your options . Rome wasn't built in a day :) Look at some videos or photos as they help alot , and sometimes you don't even need a label . Because all that matters is that you be you :)
There is no rush in finding out your sexuality, nor should you feel like you have to define yourself. It is totally okay to experiment in a safe, secure and trusting environment. There is no right or wrong answer!
Sexuality is a completely fluid thing. You don't have to be confined to anything, it can change, and it can be incredibly uncertain. If you are having problems with not being able to identify with a sexuality explicitly it may just not apply to you, or maybe it does. They are lose labels for helping people find a group they feel they fit comfortably in, for some people it doesn't have to be completely what they feel, just what they'd rather identify as. We don't need labels, and the labels that do exist are rough and general, so if you struggle to find one that applies to you it doesn't mean you're abnormal in any way. Keep researching and you may be able to find something that feels right There are hundreds of sexualities- which may seem daunting, but not all of them fit with everyone.
You can analyze your feelings and sensations about men and women, try to imagine yourself with different people in sexual and romantic contexts and be honest with yourself about how these fantasies really make you feel. Whatever feels good determines who you are!
Knowing your sexuality can be really quick for some and take a lot of time for others. Some people know from birth. While others grow into their sexuality. If you're a person who isn't sure, give yourself plenty of time before taking on a label for yourself.
I think, you'll experience it some day without searching for an answer. In my opinion, falling in love is not about gender, it's about the person you love.
Knowing your sexuality is something that comes with time. You may start to notice that you are attracted to more or different genders than you originally thought you were. Since sexuality is a spectrum, figuring out exactly where you fit can be tricky. Its important to listen to your body & only do the things that feel good to you.
At first, you have to know that you have all time you need for it. nobody is waiting for an answer at the moment. just take a deep breath and listen to your inner voice, because that is the only thing that matters. All in all there is no easy solution, you have to listen to yourself and some day you will find out. do what you like to do. Do what keeps you happy and then you will find your way.
You can try to take the Kinsey scale test, although it's not always accurate. I would suggest to just experiment. Or ask yourself honestly, who are you attracted to? You can also try to read some articles about sexuality and talk to LGBTQ+ people. Good luck!
Experiment, it is possible to change your sexuality in the future. Do not keep yourself locked up because you are too scared to try new things.
It takes lots of trial and error to fully understand your sexuality. And it's perfectly fine if you identify as one thing before finally realizing what your sexuality is :)
Sexuality is something someone can only feel for themself. You can never know until you do. For some, the journey to knowing is much easier than it is for others. Some people have know their entire life; others wait a long time to know. One of the most risky things one can do is to experiment. It's helpful for learning your sexuality, but it can mess with emotions. I stand by the saying "to each their own." As long as you figure it out at your own pace and the way you want to, then you're doing wonderfully.
while you go though puberty you will start noticing changes on how you feel and the older you get the more you will come to understand your sexuality
It's all about your feelings towards other genders. As you know there is many sexualities. If you have feelings towards opposite sex then you're heterosexual. If you have feelings towards same sex then you're homosexual. If you have feelings towards both sexes then you're bisexual. Or you don't need to have any feelings at all then you're asexual. There is more sexualites like demisexual, pansexual etc etc. ;)
Figuring out your sexuality can be very hard and can take a long time. The first thing you should know is that you should not try to rush into this, and don't be too upset if you're feeling confused or unsure. Think about who you currently like, and who you've liked in the past. Think about who you've dated or wanted to date. Are they mainly the same gender as you? Are they mainly the opposite gender? Does it not really matter to you? Here's a list of basic terminology that might help. Read through and see if anything fits. Heterosexual - attraction to the opposite gender Homosexual - attraction to the same gender Bisexual - attraction to many genders (not just 2!) Pansexual - attraction to all genders or regardless of gender (gender does not matter) Hopefully this can help somewhat!
I will give you a brief summary about the sexualities and how you know. Gay - Strictly attracted to MEN. Lesbian - Strictly attracted to WOMEN. Bisexual - Attraction to both men and women, can have a preference. Pansexual - Attraction to anybody regardless of gender. Omnisexual - Attraction to anybody WITH a preference. I recommend reading the copy of "Am I a Lesbian" master doc, it will really help you in finding what you are attracted to. It's about 30 pages but it goes really in-depth with what you may be experiencing. Remember, questioning is 100% okay and valid. If you need help, do not be afraid to ask questions.
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