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How can I meet other LGBTQ people in a small and conservative town?

18 Answers
Last Updated: 03/01/2022 at 3:23pm
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Top Rated Answers
January 16th, 2015 7:48am
I once lived in a conservative environment, and experienced the same difficulty in meeting other gays like me. Although I knew there had to be gays somewhere, I unfortunately met no one until I moved to large and liberal town.
January 20th, 2015 2:10pm
There may be an LGBTQ organization and resources at a nearby college. And sometimes it's amazing what you can find via Google -- try typing your town name and gay/lesbian. Otherwise, just go do the activities you enjoy and get to know people in those groups. Perhaps arts groups or other activities that have traditionally been more open to gay people.
August 31st, 2015 11:44pm
I don't know but if you find out hit me up yo, lesbian in a town full of closeted gay men, you can tell how hard it is to meet someone
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
October 1st, 2019 11:09am
You can try to get in contact with the closest LGBT support group or cultural circle, there are a lot of them in many cities, and it will be worth it even if you have to move a bit out of your town. You'll find supportive people and potential friends there!
April 14th, 2015 5:23pm
when you spot one who you would call different, trust yourself, probable chances are they are true.
April 30th, 2015 3:02am
I grew up in small towns and started a gay-straight alliance in a small town in college. I'm straight, but I noticed that what my gay friends did was use gay-themed dating websites and search their zip code to find other gay people.
May 4th, 2015 7:26am
Trust me, you have fabulous allies hiding in closets all around you. I would suggest going online and finding people in your area, or finding out if there are any small places like gay or lesbian bars.
May 29th, 2015 2:15pm
See if your small town has anything "secret" for the LGBTQ community and join it, such as a GSA (gay straight alliance)
June 14th, 2015 3:09am
This is a great question! I would suggest trying to connect to other LGBTQ individuals at a local GSA meeting or LGBTQ organizations. A lot of LGBTQ organization for teens will host events such as queer proms, and other get togethers. If you are not in the position to do that, I would suggest trying to connect to other LGBTQ people on the internet via tumblr, reddit, or Facebook. Good luck!
August 4th, 2015 1:50am
Try joining a LGBTQ Facebook group for your area? You might have to go to the nearest city--that's what a lot of people do.
October 27th, 2015 11:32pm
You can meet other LGBTQ people in a small and conservative town by posting on your local town's board about a cookout for all LGBTQ people. Or, if you feel more comfortable this way, you could post about it in the next town over.
October 29th, 2015 10:01pm
Is there a local PFLAG chapter near you? Maybe a GSA type thing that you could volunteer for? If not, you could start something! Everything counts and will help!
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
December 7th, 2015 6:53pm
The Internet is a wonderful thing for this. There's a very good chance you're the only one in town if you're in a small enough town, but you're not alone in the world.
December 22nd, 2015 5:55pm
The internet is a great resource to find all sorts of people from all over the world. You can connect through forums, social media, or even right here on 7 cups! Just remember to be safe.
April 18th, 2016 7:39am
You can find out of groups that are online that you could join to chat about things and maybe through the people there you will come to know of other communities that you can join and share.
October 3rd, 2016 4:37pm
Check out and find a local chapter that is closest to you. It is also worth searching for a Gay & Lesbian Community Center. If you don't mind the bar scene, going to happy hour at a gay friendly bar would be a really great option to meet other. You can always drink water or a coke if alcohol is not your thing.
March 16th, 2020 3:14pm
Having struggled with this myself, I feel as though sharing my experience would be adequate. As a closeted member of the LGBTQ+ community living in a conservative town, I had trouble accepting myself, and actively seeking out others like me. Once I had come to terms with my identity, I began to look for other LGBTQ+ members in my area. Here are some ideas to help find other LGBTQ+ people in a somewhat subtle manner. 1) Be symbolic. Wear colors, patterns, and themes that could be associated with your sexuality and gender identity. For example, wearing a shirt that contains the colors of your pride flag. 2) Be yourself as much as possible. In a safe situation, try dropping hints about your involvement or association with the LGBTQ+ community. 3) Observe. There are others like you. Look out for them. Maybe it’s a twinkle in their eye, their hairstyle, or an Oscar Wilde novel clutched in their hand. Keep your eyes wide. 4) Come out. If you are closeted, think about coming out. This is an extremely important decision, and some may choose not to come out. This is okay too. 5) Be chill. Smile. Wave. Hold doors, be friendly, and be yourself, in as subtle, or as bold a manner as you can. Best of luck.
March 1st, 2022 3:23pm
Maybe you can first try to meet a nearby community online? And then maybe meet them in person! Maybe you'll discover some of them are from your town and it will make it easier for you to meet new LGBTQ+ people! I understand that living in a small and conservative town doesn't make it easy for you to have a community around you and on who you can rely on. Moreover, if the town is really small and conservative maybe also other LGBTQ+ people might prefer to meet online. Hope that this advice helped you with your problem! Take care!