How can I meet other LGBTQ people in a small and conservative town?
Last Updated: 03/16/2020 at 3:14pm
Cynthia Stocker, LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
My approach is direct, kind, honest & collaborative. My clients appreciate that I help them in a way that cuts through the jargon and gives clear explanations.
Top Rated Answers
I once lived in a conservative environment, and experienced the same difficulty in meeting other gays like me. Although I knew there had to be gays somewhere, I unfortunately met no one until I moved to large and liberal town.
There may be an LGBTQ organization and resources at a nearby college. And sometimes it's amazing what you can find via Google -- try typing your town name and gay/lesbian. Otherwise, just go do the activities you enjoy and get to know people in those groups. Perhaps arts groups or other activities that have traditionally been more open to gay people.
I don't know but if you find out hit me up yo, lesbian in a town full of closeted gay men, you can tell how hard it is to meet someone
You can try to get in contact with the closest LGBT support group or cultural circle, there are a lot of them in many cities, and it will be worth it even if you have to move a bit out of your town. You'll find supportive people and potential friends there!
when you spot one who you would call different, trust yourself, probable chances are they are true.
I grew up in small towns and started a gay-straight alliance in a small town in college. I'm straight, but I noticed that what my gay friends did was use gay-themed dating websites and search their zip code to find other gay people.
Trust me, you have fabulous allies hiding in closets all around you. I would suggest going online and finding people in your area, or finding out if there are any small places like gay or lesbian bars.
See if your small town has anything "secret" for the LGBTQ community and join it, such as a GSA (gay straight alliance)
This is a great question! I would suggest trying to connect to other LGBTQ individuals at a local GSA meeting or LGBTQ organizations. A lot of LGBTQ organization for teens will host events such as queer proms, and other get togethers. If you are not in the position to do that, I would suggest trying to connect to other LGBTQ people on the internet via tumblr, reddit, or Facebook. Good luck!
Try joining a LGBTQ Facebook group for your area? You might have to go to the nearest city--that's what a lot of people do.
You can meet other LGBTQ people in a small and conservative town by posting on your local town's board about a cookout for all LGBTQ people. Or, if you feel more comfortable this way, you could post about it in the next town over.
Is there a local PFLAG chapter near you? Maybe a GSA type thing that you could volunteer for? If not, you could start something! Everything counts and will help!
The Internet is a wonderful thing for this. There's a very good chance you're the only one in town if you're in a small enough town, but you're not alone in the world.
The internet is a great resource to find all sorts of people from all over the world. You can connect through forums, social media, or even right here on 7 cups! Just remember to be safe.
You can find out of groups that are online that you could join to chat about things and maybe through the people there you will come to know of other communities that you can join and share.
Check out pflag.org and find a local chapter that is closest to you. It is also worth searching for a Gay & Lesbian Community Center. If you don't mind the bar scene, going to happy hour at a gay friendly bar would be a really great option to meet other. You can always drink water or a coke if alcohol is not your thing.
Having struggled with this myself, I feel as though sharing my experience would be adequate. As a closeted member of the LGBTQ+ community living in a conservative town, I had trouble accepting myself, and actively seeking out others like me. Once I had come to terms with my identity, I began to look for other LGBTQ+ members in my area. Here are some ideas to help find other LGBTQ+ people in a somewhat subtle manner. 1) Be symbolic. Wear colors, patterns, and themes that could be associated with your sexuality and gender identity. For example, wearing a shirt that contains the colors of your pride flag. 2) Be yourself as much as possible. In a safe situation, try dropping hints about your involvement or association with the LGBTQ+ community. 3) Observe. There are others like you. Look out for them. Maybe it’s a twinkle in their eye, their hairstyle, or an Oscar Wilde novel clutched in their hand. Keep your eyes wide. 4) Come out. If you are closeted, think about coming out. This is an extremely important decision, and some may choose not to come out. This is okay too. 5) Be chill. Smile. Wave. Hold doors, be friendly, and be yourself, in as subtle, or as bold a manner as you can. Best of luck.
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