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How can I tell if I am really ready to come out of the closet?

24 Answers
Last Updated: 11/15/2021 at 6:20pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Danielle Gonzales, PsyD


Hello! My name is Dani, I am a Psychologist and registered Psych Assistant. I have a passion for helping a different types of clients from all diverse backgrounds!

Top Rated Answers
September 15th, 2015 3:07am
You are ready when you come to terms with your own sexuality. You are not ready when you think your parents might be ready to hear it. You are not ready when your workplace or school becomes accepting. You are ready whenever YOU are ready. Leave that decision to you and no one else. Come out when you feel confident enough to do so and pay no mind to what anyone else says.
August 23rd, 2016 2:44am
Well, it really boils down to a couple questions you should ask yourself: a) Is it safe for me to come out of the closet? b) Will I be happier if I come out of the closet? c) Will I be able to remain living in a similar way if I come out of the closet? If you answered "yes" to those questions and you feel like you can do it, congratulations! You are ready to come out of the closet and show the world how great you are!
February 1st, 2016 8:27am
You feel ready when you feel that tiny boost of confidence. It's like a voice in your brain saying you're ready
February 9th, 2016 11:27pm
You can tell if you're ready if you feel perfectly comfortable with yourself, and your gender identity/sexual identity/whatever you're coming out as. As well, consider who you're going to come out to, and the method of doing so.
September 14th, 2015 11:02am
I've been in the position of awaiting to come out and being super scared of my parent's reactions. I think the best thing to do is to make first make sure that you're in a safe environment to come out. If you're parent(s) are really homophobic and you don't have a very strong relationship, then you should most likely wait a little longer. Strengthen the relationship if you aren't very close with them! Most importantly; Make sure you're ready! If you are really uncomfortable talking about it and are still against yourself being gay, then I think you should wait a little longer. (I just realized that you might not even have been talking about your parents...whoever it is (siblings, cousins, friends, teachers, ect.) just do those steps and I think you'll be fine. Hope this helped, and I wish you the best!
May 31st, 2015 4:01pm
You need to be sure about your sexuality and have accepted it for yourself. You're ready to come out if you've accepted it, you're sure, and you need to tell people about it to get it off your chest and start living freely instead of as though caged. You might feel like you're about to explode. Maybe you can't take your mind off it. There comes a time for everyone where they're just ready to come out, for different reasons. You'll know.
December 22nd, 2015 8:46am
Before you come out, the most important thing is to make sure that you've accepted yourself, and you're comfortable with your identity, whatever that may be. You also have to consider how accepting people will be-- if you're financially dependent on your parents and you know that they won't be accepting, you should definitely wait until you're in a position where you can take care of yourself to come out.
January 15th, 2015 9:11pm
If you feel comfortable enough with yourself and proud, then you may just be ready! not everyone is going to accept you being different but if you build up your own confidence and pride, nobody can knock you down.
August 25th, 2016 2:28pm
You'll know if you're ready. It took a long time for that day to come for me, but trust me, it will. You will know when you're ready.
January 31st, 2017 5:02am
When I stop balking at the idea of coming out to someone, I sit down and imagine all the possible reactions the person might have to me coming out. When I feel fairly confident that the person will react positively, and I am ready to deal with the consequences if they react negatively, I know I'm ready. (Also, it's important to remember that you don't have to come out to everyone in your life at once!)
September 21st, 2015 7:31am
When you are most certain that you are safe to do so, and you will not end up homeless when you tell them.
July 31st, 2017 12:04pm
It's really up to you! But some good general guidelines are: 1. You're in a safe place. The people you come out to, you either don't care what they think, or you feel like you can handle their reactions. For example, if it's your parents, you know their reaction will be positive/neutral, and they will not withdraw financial/emotional support from you, and if you're prepared for the case in which they do, then that's great. 2. You're comfortable!! Now that we've gotten the serious stuff out of the way, you really have to feel comfortable with the people you're coming out to, and comfortable enough that no one will be able to make you change your mind about who you are or who you like. But, there's no right time for anything, that's part of it, you just really take the leap and cross your fingers. Good luck!!
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
May 14th, 2019 5:52pm
Coming out is something that does not have a right or wrong time. The best time to do it is whenever you think the comfort of finally being free to live your identity openly will be bigger than the uneasiness of sharing something that not everyone might accept. Unfortunately, there are always gonna be people who are not supportive. But if you feel like the freedom to be yourself will be rewarding enough to give you the strength to face the uneasiness of dealing with these unsupportive people, then any moment is good for you to come out!
May 3rd, 2015 2:29pm
When you feel comfortable enough to let people know then its a good time, being comfortable and at peace with your sexuality will really help you when you decide to come out of the closet, also try to make sure you have a good support network around you made up of people you can trust.
September 17th, 2018 10:28pm
You're ready to come out of the closet if you see that there is no reason for you to be hiding because of what other people will think. They don't control how you feel or what you identify as. They have their own lives and their own problems for them to be worrying about. Don't ever feel like you shouldn't identify a certain way just because of other people. In answer to your question, basically, you should come out of the closet when you decide that you want to be yourself, when you realise that it honestly doesn't matter what others think of you as long as you are happy with your identity. You're identity is your own, not anyone else's and you should remember that
January 12th, 2015 6:31am
You're ready to come out of the closet when you, yourself is comfortable and confident in the situation. Also if you have a back up plan and or support to help you along the way of coming out.
August 14th, 2017 10:54am
You kind of have to come out to yourself in a way. Or think to yourself "am I very comfortable with this label, and is it safe?" If both are yes, then you should be ready!
January 16th, 2018 8:01pm
When you're confident and happy with you and how you identify who you are. You don't need anyone's acceptance or blessing, etc. because of who you are. You are your own person and there are going to be MANY people out there who just will never understand or accept, and that's okay. Your life, not theirs.
January 20th, 2018 5:15pm
It’s entirely your choice whether or not you come out, and who to. Some people find they prefer not to come out. Others find it makes them a positive role model to others and feel glad that they did! I felt better when I came out, and I came out by putting a pansexual flag on her card and saying btw mom I am pansexual!
September 14th, 2020 9:36pm
Hello! So this question is tricky because only we know how we feel, however, if you feel comfortable with this and you deep down know that too, then now you have to get ready to face people, not only understanding and loving people but rude people as well. Think about it for however long and make sure you are feeling safe with your answer then come out however you want, either telling everyone or a more slow approach I wish you the best of luck, stay strong, and remember you are worth anything in this world. Im rooting for you
May 7th, 2018 6:25pm
If you feel you are safe and are comfortable with your sexuality/gender then you should come out! You have to feel comfortable with yourself first before you come out to others!
May 8th, 2018 9:25pm
Trust me you'll know. You'll be so comfortable with yourself you'll just be ready. I know you can do this. Good luck!
June 26th, 2018 3:46am
If you feel secure within yourself and you are comfortable with who you are and you’re sexuality. You don’t have to be completely confident, we are learning more about ourselves everyday, but it’s a good place to start
November 15th, 2021 6:20pm
The decision to come out of the closet is a very personal decision that is different for everyone. Some people come out easily and have more difficulty some coming out. When you are ready you will know. You may experience anxiety, or you may feel relieved. Surround yourself with people that will support you and tell them first. Then ask them to be with you when you tell people that may not be as accepting, such as your family. Having support can help you through the difficult moments and the happy moments while encouraging the happy moments. Good luck in your journey :)