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How come that me being a sexual orientation that is not straight or gay or lesbian feel alienated within LGBTQ communitity? What can I do to feel more accepted?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 06/18/2019 at 9:51am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
April 21st, 2015 6:31pm
I am personaly bisexual so I feel not really aceppted by either community. Straight people think it is a phase and lgbt people think im greedy. What i did is i became more happy with myself and became more confident. Also i found amaezing friends to help
May 22nd, 2015 10:28pm
I think its better to accept yourself. Not everyone will accept you ,but you should love yourself
January 25th, 2016 11:08am
Sometimes, when groups of people are fighting super hard to be accepted for something that a large part of society considers wrong, they can get a little exclusive. It's not like you can force your way in or anything. I guess a large part is just being confident and accepting yourself, and most of all, being patient. The LGBTQ community, (while super badass), can sometimes feel alien to those with a sexual orientation other than L/G. Don't sweat it. If nothing, express yourself - talk to people from the community and they will understand where you're coming from. After all, most of them have faced difficulties regarding sexual orientations themselves. Hang in there, it gets better. Love :)
May 5th, 2015 12:16pm
As someone who at first identified as homosexual but then realized theyre probably pansexual, and whos greatly concerned with gender issues, I feel like sexual orientations that do not conform to the gender binary can be a bit 'invisible', even within the LGBT+ community, and I feel that thats a problem that needs to be adressed
May 24th, 2015 7:23pm
Everyone should feel accepted, no matter what. Try to find others that feel similarly, so you don't feel so alone. Lesbian, Gay, Straight, Bisexual, Pansexual, Transsexual, Questioning, Asexual or anything else, is doesn't matter. Know that you are loved, and once you surround yourself with people of the same ideals, you will be happier.
June 3rd, 2015 5:22pm
It is true that some people in the LGBTQ+ community are alienated because of their sexuality by others in that community, but that is only because there are so many sexualities and genders that some are just easier to accept than others. Instead of thinking LGBTQ+ as a community, start thinking of it as a nation where inside there are many different communities. Find that community you fit in, even if it's super-duper-small, and try to make a connection.
June 22nd, 2015 1:30am
You should not be seen as different in the LGBTQ community. That community is for anyone with any sexual orientation. That being said,bringing more information to the community about your sexual orientation will help others understand more about it, instead of having no clue and assuming it shouldn't be accepted.
July 7th, 2015 2:32pm
Finding one or two other people whom you can relate to can be of great help and support. Then, if connecting with more people is difficult because they do not accept you as much, building self-esteem should help. Remember that you deserve to treasure yourself, and you don't need someone to complete you. When you do feel the need for help or acceptance, and friends are not available, 7 Cups of Tea is here!
August 4th, 2015 6:05pm
To feel more accepted you can join the LGBTQ alliance at your school or go to or find your local pride parade :)
August 17th, 2015 6:28pm
Unfortunelately, being a part of the MOGAI community doesn't mean being knowledgeable or kind. You will encounter other MOGAI people who won't accept you or who will tell you you're not 'gay enough', or that you can't speak as yourself as gay, queer or trans. There will be people of the community saying your sexual orientation doesn't exist, or that your gender identity is fake. Let me tell you: you know better than them. What you feel is valid and you have the right to name it the way you want. Stay with people who understand that and who will support you. You can begin your research for safe spaces by trying to find other people/organisations in your area (or if that's out of question, an online community like on reddit or tumblr) that share the same experiences or who support your identity. By building this kind of circles, you'll be able to shield yourself from the harmful part of the community.
September 14th, 2015 6:32am
People fear things that they do not understand. It does not mean that there is anything wrong with your sexual orientation. Education is key but people have to be willing to learn also. They have to meet you halfway. I would say to continue being your true self and acceptance shall fall into your lap.
November 30th, 2015 5:09am
Well first you have to try and face what sexual orientation you are, if it something like asexual and you can find that alienating, you need to first kinda realize that no community is always going to have the same beliefs within that community. You don't have to label oneself and that is fine also. Trying to fit into a community that isn't accepting of you isn't something that you should worry too much about unless it affects your rights as a person. You should self define and make your own community or reach out further into the internet to see if there are people that are like you.
January 4th, 2016 7:33pm
I understand you here, darling. See, I identify as aromantic asexual and many LGBTQ individuals (not all, thank heavens) don't even recognize that we're any different than the straight community. I've found that the best way to deal with this is to find some people who *do* accept and recognize you for who you are. Even if it's some online group or something, the feeling of other-people-are-like-me is wonderful.
January 1st, 2018 1:26am
Find other people with similar orientations. They will have advice for you that people with different orientations won't. Plus it'll help you feel more accepted.
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
June 18th, 2019 9:51am
Unfortunately, internal discrimination in the community is a phenomenon that still exists. That's due to prejudice and ignorance, just like all types of discrimination. Spreading the knowledge about your identity to all willing to listen is something you can do to help limiting this phenomenon. I know it's frustrating to have to explain your identity over and over again, but if you can change even just one person's mind, it's worth trying to build a more inclusive world. You can encourage people to ask you questions about things they don't understand, and the rest will be up to them. Meanwhile, you can surround yourself with supportive people - I ensure you that there are a lot in the community! - to feel supported and gain enough strength to fight this discrimination.