How do I come out as non-binary at school, knowing most of my classmates don't even talk to me?
Last Updated: 11/23/2017 at 12:09am
April Zamzow, CSW, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
There are many times in our lives when we could use an ear to listen and help us through the things that we are struggling with. I can do that.
Top Rated Answers
Please know that what you're considering is really brave and incredible. Coming out or queer existence in itself is extremely brave. But if you feel like you're pressured to come out as non-binary, I want you to know that you are under no obligation to share your identity with people who immediately assume that you are cishet if it would put you in danger. Don't feel like you would be lying to them since it's their assumption that you were cis in the first place. Your safety and comfort comes first. Please consider this first. However if you are sure that you are ready, try to seek the comfort of your loved ones. Maybe try coming out to the people you trust the most first. Your closest friends. This will give you encouragement and will reinforce your belief in yourself and your identity.
Hi! A way to come out to your school is to come out to your principal/higher points of administration. They will inform your teachers, who will then inform fellow classmates. I wish you the best of luck!
Firstly, there's no pressure to come out if you don't feel ready! However, if you do want to then there are a few ways you could go about it. It might help to tell the people who you're closer to first and see how they react, they might be able to help you come out to other people! Then it's up to you if you want to announce it to everyone else or just start correcting pronouns or name or let people know in casual conversation! You might need to explain the concept to them, so I'd be prepared to answer any questions they might have. Follow what feels right for you, and what makes you feel good about yourself!
Being non-binary could be a little more difficult to explain to people, especially classmates! Some people don't exactly know what it is, but that's okay! A good place to start is to ask some friends about the LGBTQIA+ community; ask them what they know and how they view it. Get their opinions! This may help when it comes to explaining and knowing where they stand on these kinds of topics. Another good start is to look into your school's Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) or Pride Alliance. I suggest talking to your school counselor, teacher, or administrator to see if that already exists or if a teacher would be interested in starting that with you. GSA's are a very good way to connect with fellow LGBTQIA+ members at your school AND can be used as a way to educate people about the LGBTQIA+ community (in this case, what non-binary is!) Having a support group that is educated and can support you for being you can be gratifying, and can help you on your journey of coming out of the closet! Now that you have a circle of people who support you, it's time to plan out a strategy. How do you want to come out? Who do you trust to come out to? When does it feel most comfortable for you to come out? I suggest making a list of people you'd like to come out to and organize what you would say. Try to imagine the other person's perspective and ask yourself, "How would I react to someone coming out as non-binary to me? What questions would I have for this person if they were to come out as non-binary to me? What questions am I comfortable with answering?" Write those questions down, and answer what makes you feel comfortable answering. Coming out can be a scary thing...so being prepared to answer questions and for the person's/people's reaction(s) can help.
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