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How do I know if I am transgender?

303 Answers
Last Updated: 11/06/2020 at 8:15pm
How do I know if I am transgender?
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United States
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Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
March 14th, 2015 12:04am
Do you feel like your gender identity is different than the gender you were assigned at birth? Do you sometimes feel more like a "boy" even though technically you're a "girl"? Do you feel like you are in the wrong body? Gender and sex are not the same thing. We can identify as a girl even if we have the body of a male. Those are some questions you can ask yourself which might help you figure out if you are transgender.
August 5th, 2015 5:17am
Some people know from ever since they were a little kid. Some people take a lot longer in life to begin questioning. Some people never do. Often, people that come to terms and realise that they're transgender can look back at their lives up to that point with that new knowledge of being trans, and things in their past can seem to make more sense to them. The question 'am I transgender?' is one I've seen a lot in my time. I remember when it was me asking that question. Unfortunately, there's no acid test for it; there's no definitive way to tell. For me, what helped to give me some certainty was actually listening to my feelings. Figuring out whether you're trans can be a long process, but one thing you can do is ask yourself questions. Would you be happier if the world saw you as the opposite sex to what you were assigned at birth? Do you feel you relate well to members of your assigned sex, or better to the other sex? It's also equally important to look at your answers here and question why and how that is. Allow yourself the freedom to explore your feelings. One tool that I've seen a lot when people ask these questions is this: If you had in front of you a button that you could press that would instantly and permanently change you into the sex opposite to your birth assignment, with everyone having always known you as your new sex and your entire life changed to suit that - would you press that button? And if so, why? If you feel like you'd press that button, then you might well be trans! You might also not be - there are plenty of inbetweens and outside gender identities that people can and do identify as, rather than simply male or female. It's a great idea at this point, if you're still questioning, or even if you're pretty certain, to see a therapist. A therapist can help you work through your feelings and help you look at your life, worries, questions and so on from another angle. This can be very beneficial for you in working out whether you're transgender, cisgender, or something else entirely. Once you've come to a realisation, a therapist can also help you figure out what to do next, help you to come to terms and accept yourself, and help you along with any stresses or problems you might find in moving forward with your life.
August 5th, 2015 6:02pm
When you realize that cisgendered people don't spend a lot of time wishing they were in the body of the opposite sex or wish that they could change their body.
May 27th, 2015 6:23pm
The best test, in my opinion, is simply seeing if you can find gender euphoria, the good feelings of happiness and rightness when you are connecting with the correct gender. Try "the pronoun dressing room" online (google for it), or ask a friend or Listener to refer to you with gendered language or pronouns you'd like to try. If something makes you feel warm and happy and connected with yourself, and it's not the gender you were assigned at birth, then you're probably trans.
February 12th, 2016 9:58am
As a transgender person myself, this is a difficult one to answer, and I'm not sure I can be completely impartial. But here's my experience. I always envied members of the opposite sex, from a young age. While I didn't know about words like "transgender" or "cisgender", I was aware of the definite wish to be of the other sex. As a young teen, I assumed it was down to me being gay, but as I got older I realised that wasn't the reason. Whenever I looked in the mirror, I hated what I saw. It wasn't right for me. I wasn't quite sure what it was, at first, but it just felt all wrong. I was never comfortable with other people seeing me naked, or touching me. And in all my daydreams and fantasies, I put myself in a male character. It seems obvious when you look back with hindsight, but at the time I had no idea- I didn't have that "eureka" moment until I was 18, after an afternoon of casual internet browsing led me to a site explaining transgender issues and transsexuality. There have been moments of doubt and fear since then, but deep down I know who I am.
February 4th, 2016 12:04am
Short answer: when filling out a form and having to choose M or F - do you feel uncomfortable, because the one you're expected to choose just doesn't feel right? (Or, in the rare case that you encounter an "other" option, do you get strangely excited? :) )
August 7th, 2015 6:40pm
Hi! I'm transgender. I was born female, but identify as a demiboy (partly/mostly male). There is no true "you must pass all these requirements to be transgender". The best thing to do is to listen to your heart (as cliche as that is) and not be afraid to explore your gender identity. For example, for a while I identified as genderfluid, then later became more comfortable of myself and now identify as a demiboy.
August 16th, 2015 5:08am
Being transgender means being a different gender than what your body is presented as in the most basic sense. While some people know at young age that they are trans, for others it might take a long time! I myself only came to terms with being genderqueer when I was 17, and only came out at 19. Although there's no set way of knowing whether or not you're trans, a good way is just taking a week or a month and really thinking about how you feel. I kept a "masculine vs. feminine" journal for a long time. I noted the date, what i felt, and the situation in which I felt that way. Sometimes those who are transgender struggle with dysphoria. It's okay not to feel that- you are still a valid human being. Heck, it's even okay to not want to pass as another gender or not have a gender at all. Being trans is very, VERY personal. No one can invalidate your experience. I hope I helped!
August 5th, 2015 3:39am
When it comes to sexuality, there is never a clear "test" to identify if you are transgender. If you are transgender, you should be able to feel inside something is not right. Do you feel like a person living the life of someone else? Picture becoming transgender. Can you picture yourself being happy that way? I hope this helps.
August 12th, 2015 9:46am
Some great advice someone gave me is that cisgender people don't usually question their gender! There are many different terms under the trans umbrella. If the binary doesn't fit, that is okay! Exploring your gender identity is a wonderful but tough journey for everyone!
June 28th, 2015 7:29pm
I believe that if you were transgender you would know very easily to distinct yourself between the gender you truly feel you are and undergo the outside transformation to match what you feel inside. There are more than 2 genders in fact there are many many genders that are out of the binary that sadly, not many people know about. I am personally genderfluid therefore I identify as girl and boy but I am neither because I am just me, I don't feel genders should define you as a person. So, to know if you are transgender do research and feel in your heart who you truly want to be but PLEASE be aware of the other genders that you could fit into without having to go through surgery when you may just be genderfluid, genderqueer and many more. :)
July 5th, 2015 12:51am
Unfortunately there's no "transgender quizlet" that can tell you with certainty that you are or aren't transgender, and the journey to identifying yourself will take some time. While there are many "indicators," I think the heart of the issue comes down to expression -- how are you comfortable? If possible FtM ("female"-to-"male"), try dressing in more masculine clothes, binding your chest (safely!), and even packing (stuffing your underwear). If possible MtF ("male"-to-"female"), try dressing in more feminine clothes, packing a bra, or trying make-up. Look yourself in the mirror. See how these things feel. Not all transgender people feel the same about all things (an FtM, for example, may feel better when they bind but not when they pack), but it may be a strong indicator if any of those made you feel more comfortable, more confident or more "yourself." Also consider that you might not fall into the gender binary at all. Agender, genderfluid, gender neutral and others are all legitimate forms of identity. The best answer is to just experiment and see what makes YOU comfortable, day-to-day. In the meantime, I suggest journaling, vlogging, or talking to trustworthy friends (or to someone you trust here on 7Cups!). The ability to voice what you're experiencing helps a lot when you're working on self-discovery. In the end, it all comes down to YOU and what makes YOU comfortable.
December 7th, 2014 10:00am
I am transgender myself. How I knew is that I just didn't feel right in my body. Before I knew what transgender was I knew I wanted to be a boy (in your case it could be a girl as well), and when I found out about it, I was like that's what I am! It can be difficult knowing if you are or not. If you don't feel comfortable in either genders (being a boy or girl), you could just want to be both, and identify as a girl one day, and a boy the next. There are people who are that way as well. Good luck. :)
January 8th, 2016 3:24am
There is no way for someone else to be able to identify what gender you are. You know you and you know how you feel about your identity. Even if you have to experiment with yourself, it will be worth it. Figure out who you are. Because, transgender or not, you are important and your life is precious.
February 3rd, 2017 1:53am
Usually when wondering if you identify as transgender you'll feel as though you're trapped inside the wrong body. And research shows that actually is correct! People who suffer with dysphoria (extreme discomfort in their body) often have the thought process/neurologic patterns of the gender they desire to be more like/become/identify as/etc. You may also lean towards products (clothing, toys, etc) that are of the desired gender. It's more of a feeling than anything honestly, but it can be different for everyone. If you need help with dysphoria or anything transgender related feel free to message me privately anytime! And that goes for anyone else reading this. You aren't alone and your feelings are valid to me and others around you.
January 8th, 2016 3:09am
I'm probably hella qualified to answer this. There's no real way to "know", or no way for me to tell you how you'll know. You will know when you're ready. Introspection and research help. I wondered if I was trans for a very long time, so I found a good community of LGBTQ+ people and they helped me through it.
December 21st, 2014 7:27pm
Nearly all people are assigned a gender at birth according to the male-female gender binary on the basis of the sexual organs (male for penises, female for vaginas). There are two main classifications of gender types: cisgender and transgender. Cisgender means you are the gender you were assigned at birth. Transgender simply is the opposite saying you are not the gender you were assigned at birth. Now how one knows if they are transgender is an effort in knowing oneself. For some gender is strong, comes early in life, and apparent to them, while others go through years of searching and experimentation to discover who they are. If you come to a generally stable conclusion of what your gender is, and it isn't what you were assigned at birth, then you are transgender. (This includes agender, polygender, and non-binary people as well.)
July 2nd, 2015 4:23am
It took a lot of self-reflection for me to come to terms with my identity. It really helped to listen to other transgender people's stories about figuring out their identities. I also did research on what it meant to be transgender and spent a lot of time thinking about whether or not I was experiencing things that are common for trans people to experience. Ultimately, only you can know if you are transgender, and it's ok if it takes a while to figure it out.
January 2nd, 2016 6:04am
That's a very difficult question, and the answer to it requires a great deal of introspection. First, you may want to ask yourself why you're asking the question in the first place -- is there something that's causing you to question your gender? One of the most common hypothetical scenarios I've come across is the idea of a button that could magically and irreversibly change you to the sex different from your assigned sex. Assuming there were absolutely no repercussions, would you press it? If so, then you may want to seriously consider the possibility of being transgender -- many people would be curious about experiencing life as the opposite sex, but irreversibly changing sexes would be enough to deter the vast majority (if not all) of cisgender people.
December 3rd, 2014 3:26am
I believe it's something that you feel your entire life. Going through puberty is a really difficult event. And every time you look in the mirror, you wonder what you would look like with the opposite sex's body. It's something you feel everyday. And every time someone mistakes you for the opposite sex, you get a strange kind of euphoria.
December 16th, 2015 8:26am
be open minded talk to someone that is transgender dont keep it to your self it's not wrong if you are trans it's all about soul
May 6th, 2018 6:37pm
If you feel that you might be trans then you know. People will love you for you no matter how your are on the outside. If ch aging gender makes you happy then that is the most important thing in life!
August 9th, 2015 7:47am
It is difficult to know for sure. It isn't a sudden decision. It's something you've always felt deep down and finally have a name to put to the face. If you've never felt right in your body, it disgusts you and you feel trapped then those are good signs.
December 13th, 2015 1:17am
it depends from person to person, some people know it or feel like it since they are a kid, some have a smaller feeling or never questioned themselves, etc. If you are unsure, one of the best way to say your mind is to try to question yourself as much as you can and learn more on the subject as well as listening to other's experiences!
July 9th, 2015 7:14pm
The feeling of being transgender can be different for everyone. A common thread I see among my transgendered friends is a feeling of being the other gender, while not biologically being that gender. I also hear my friends say that they feel disconnected with their body, and only start feeling a connection with it when they begin to transition.
August 1st, 2015 7:29pm
You know if you are extremely dis-satisifed with your body, it bothers you when someone calls you as your biological gender, and you dream of being another gender.
July 26th, 2015 2:19pm
People who are transgender often describe themselves as having felt 'misplaced' in the birth-assigned gender and are often extremely uncomfortable with certain aspects of their body. Essentially, someone who is transgender feels in their mind that they belong to a different gender to the one they physically represent.
December 27th, 2015 5:44am
You've to ask your own self, no one can (or should) tell you how you are supposed to feel about your own sexuality. Questioning your own gender identity is absolutely normal for everyone, so don't think you're trans just because you're worring about it.
January 24th, 2016 11:32pm
Gender identity is probably one of the biggest roles in life. Some people just know who they are, but others need/ want to step back and think about the situation or try to make sure they're certain. THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE, FOLKS! This is not a black and white topic, there's a whole field of grey here and perspectives that you have not yet been able to see for yourself. It's okay to change what you identify as too, if you find something that suits you better, do not let your fear of rejection or wrath of others discourage you, Being comfortable in your skin is not always easy, sometimes it never is. Just remember that your identity is yours and always will be. No one is allowed to make this decision for you or try to push you back away from it. If you're having trouble indentifying yourself just take a step back and breathe, explore your options. There is no rush to being your amazing self.
February 11th, 2016 4:46pm
Well, usually you'll feel that this gender identity has been with you your whole life, since your earliest memories. Transgender people would usually feel dysphoric of their bodies and how they're perceived. They find it pleasurable to be regarded as the gender they identify with and called their preferred pronouns and name. Just in case you haven't already checked out other gender identities, I'm going to send you this link . Gender is a lot more complicated than we think, and there is an endless amount of genders.