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How do I sort out 'who I am inside' from the socialization that society has tried to impose on me?

7 Answers
Last Updated: 07/01/2019 at 1:00am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
April 4th, 2015 3:18am
When you are thinking, go down to the core of what you want for you. Block out any thoughts of what others want you to do, or how others would perceive you; that is the real you!
June 15th, 2015 1:47am
Who you are inside is a reflection of what's important to you, so focus on those things. Remember that it's okay for the things that are important to you to also be important to society. After all, who you are inside is not distinct from what society has imposed on you-- we are all individually affected as people, by society.
August 25th, 2015 6:03am
To figure out who are inside, you really have to figure out your interests, hobbies, and things that you like to do in your free time. Invest in these things, and just do what makes you generally happy.
May 9th, 2016 12:08pm
Trying to figure out who you are is one of the hardest thing you can do. I feel that in order to do so properly you need to have good insight into who you are, and how society limits your individuality. Accept that you are good enough, and special.
August 15th, 2016 8:19pm
A person can never know who they truly are until they are at peace with the world. Many people decide who they are because of society but that isn't who they are. They are them.
July 4th, 2017 2:55am
This is definitely a challenge, but I would recommend to just not put a label on yourself. It takes a while to find sexuality/ gender identity terms that fit just right, so just go without them. And if you feel a stubble attraction against heterosexual norms or stop liking the pronouns you use, don't ignore it, but explore more about why you feel that way. And if you don't get that, but don't like the straight/cis catagory for yourself, that's okay too. And when it comes to social constructs, you just have to always work to not be a part of them. Like, if your a little surprised when a woman is the CEO of a big company, push the thought aside, correct it, and if you feel bad about thinking it in the first place, know it was just a subconscious thought formed by the environment you grew up in. In conclusion personal identity takes, time, just try to listen to the small things that define who you are, and try to correct social constructs that you adhere to subconsciously. Hope this helps!
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
July 1st, 2019 1:00am
You can try to indentify the thoughts and mental processes that prevent you from being entirely honest to yourself, becoming more aware of the ways in which society has influenced you, what sort of thoughts or fears you have absorbed. Awareness is the first step to start working on what is blocking you, and finally being able to ponder your feelings, emotions, desires, needs, imagining yourself in different scenarios, listening to what your heart is trying to tell you.