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How do I tell my family I'm gay?

4 Answers
Last Updated: 09/09/2019 at 12:45am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Lisa Meighan, BSc Psychology (Honours)


Hello, I am Lisa and I work in a person-centred approach mixed with cognitive behavioural therapy. I believe we all have the potential to be the best we can be.

Top Rated Answers
November 9th, 2017 8:50pm
Coming out to family can be extremely difficult. I'd recommend choosing to do so in a setting that will allow you to be as comfortable as possible - whether that means a public or private venue, having friends come along for support or doing it alone, or any other number of possibilities should be decided based on what will make it easiest for you.
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
September 9th, 2019 12:45am
You can wait for a quiet moment when you're all comfortable, and then explain how you feel, how you realized you are gay, what it means for you to be who you are. Be as honest as you can, and encourage them to share their thoughts and ask you questions if they have any. If you're feeling very uncomfortable, you can also consider doing by writing a coming out letter. Be yourself, those who truly love you will give you a chance to be listened and understood, and surely true love can overcome prejudices, in case they have any. Good luck!
January 14th, 2019 7:37pm
Choose a time when they're all there, sitting down in a calm, comfortable setting. Speak from your heart, start off by saying that this is about you and your life, then say you've been worried about what to say but you're hoping they'll still love and accept you anyway. If you're too scared to say gay/lesbian... say that you like boys/girls instead. Tell them that this is you and that they can choose to accept it or not but if not, then they don't deserve you. Say that they can take some time to think about it and then give you a response. Just remember, the response is never as bad as you expect it to be. You're just scared and are overthinking it. Lots of parents actually already know and have just been waiting for you to say. Don't only believe what happens on TV. Remember me and other listeners are always here to talk. We are here for YOU. :)
June 3rd, 2019 2:33pm
Coming out can be difficult, and before I offer some tips and suggestions, I want to stress one thing: ONLY COME OUT IF IT IS SAFE FOR YOU. IF YOUR FAMILY WOULD HURT YOU/IF IT’S ILLEGAL IN YOUR COUNTRY, DON’T COME OUT! So, if your family would abuse you/put you in conversion ‘therapy’, please stay closeted. I know it’s hard, but we don’t want you to be injured because of your sexuality. Now that that’s out of the way, you can tell your family your sexuality in a way that you’re comfortable with- I know people have come out rainbow cakes, with letters, by telling them, with art, heck I even know someone who came out with legos, so come out with something you enjoy to make it fun for you. This will help take away some of the stress and nervousness many people experience before coming out. Make sure you chose a good time too so they have time to respond.