Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do you know if your bisexual?

299 Answers
Last Updated: 08/02/2020 at 3:48am
How do you know if your bisexual?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Portugal
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
spacedouthashbrown
May 26th, 2018 7:40pm
Hey! I'm a pansexual, but I have had this same issue. You know how there are the stages of grief? The same goes for sexuality. It starts as something you'd never even consider. But, you often first recognize the feelings triggered by someone of the same gender. You may feel attraction. It often comes in the form of denial, but these feelings will become welcome to you over time. The final stage is understanding your labels. LABELS ARE NOT IMPORTANT. You may be bi, pan- no matter what, you should feel free to be attracted to anyone you like, no matter their gender.
PuckisaDuck
May 31st, 2018 7:21pm
You can look at pictures of both men and women, or just spot them on the streets, and think to yourself: "would I kiss this person? Would I want to date this person? Would I want to do romantic things with this person?" and other questions like that. If this doesn't work for you: You don't necessarily have to put a label on yourself. You can tell people you -might- be bisexual, or you can just say you're still questioning. Because in the end you'll probably fall in love with someone one way (and gender) or another.
Patricia112
June 1st, 2018 4:21am
Sometimes sexuality can be really confusing because everything isn't black and white but basically if you are sexually and/or romantically attracted to both females and males you are bisexual. It could be that you are 80% attracted to females and only 20% attracted to males or vice versa, it doesn't have to be even at all.
Anonymous
June 1st, 2018 6:45am
While the only person who can know for sure is you, there are a couple questions you can ask yourself. Are you attracted to same sex, in addition to the opposite sex? Feeling attracted to both is a sign that you may be bisexual. During this time though, feelings are crazy and confusing and it's hard to figure them out. They also can constantly change, leaving you more confused. Don't feel any pressure to put a label on anything right now, unless you want to. Good luck :)
LanaElaine
June 13th, 2018 3:40pm
bisexuality is a very broad term, it took me a few years to come to terms with myself, don't feel pressured to be 50/50 in how much you like boys/girls, it's possible to like boys only 5 percent and girls the rest, or vice versa. Also try to keep in mind that it's possible to like agendered people and girls and still be bisexual. Its not strictly boys/girls. I hope this helps.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2018 1:18pm
If you feel some kind of attraction, romantically or sexually towards both male and females. People often feel a stronger attraction towards one gender than the other, everyone is different.
BiStudent84
June 22nd, 2018 7:43pm
when thinking about relationships with both males and females makes you happy and fulfils you sexually.
Anonymous
June 28th, 2018 3:10am
You know if you know. I know some people may not be quite sure but if you think you may be bisexual then ask yourself if you have even the slightest liking to the same sex or different sex. If you do, you may be bisexual, and that is okay! This is coming from someone who isn’t really sure yet if I am bisexual or not but I believe I am because although I have a preference towards men, I also like women. If you have a preference towards one sex it doesn’t mean you are straight, it just means you have a preference, and that is fine. Just trust your instincts and make your own decision on whether you are bisexual or not, because you can’t judge your sexuality by reading comments like these on the internet. Although the internet is helpful, I used it too, trust yourself and what you think before you make a decision on your sexuality.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2018 11:13am
You like both the female and male gender. Not 50% each, but can be example - 80% and 20%. It doesn’t matter what the percentages are
brilliantUnicorns28
July 1st, 2018 12:27pm
My personal experience is that I have had multiple crushes on both guys and girls. In the past I have had two boyfriends (exes now), but I recently discovered that I would like to have a girlfriend. I tend to have a preference for girls now but I know that in the past I have experienced crushes on both genders. I identify as biromantic, but that might well change in the future as I discover myself because do we ever really stop discovering things about ourselves?
Olweg
July 1st, 2018 8:23pm
First, if it sounds right with what you're feeling. Being bisexual doesn't mean you have experienced relationships with (or feelings toward) people of same / different gender. It just means you can be romantically and/or sexually attracted by people of the same gender as you, or of a different gender. Some other words can reflect more with your experience/feeling (like pansexual for instance) :) check out and find what feels right... knowing that labels can evolve with time, they're not necessarily for life ^^
Firecatcher319
July 5th, 2018 10:27pm
Figuring out if you are bisexual is different for everyone. How do you feel when you are around men and/or women. If you have the same feelings for both sexes sexually then you just may be Bisexual. However, there are a ton of other factors to consider.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2018 7:24pm
Well, as a bisexual, I found out when I was relatively young. I thought that Belle(the disney princess) was really pretty and smart and I wanted to marry her. I thought that General Shang (form Mulan) was really Handsome and brave so I wanted to marry him, too. That's how I found out. There is no test or exam for bisexuality it's just "Do I like more than one gender?" If so you might be Bisexual or pansexual or polysexual or more. It is up to you entirely. If you have any other questions please talk with us listeners or see the & cups paths, etc. We are always there for you! Take Care! Hugs!
Kayaondra02
July 11th, 2018 1:05am
It all kinda comes down to questions I guess. Do you find women attractive? Do you find men attractive? Is it the girls body and the men’s looks your attracted to you vice versa. Have you had mutual feelings for both sexes before?
Anonymous
July 13th, 2018 4:04am
If you think you are, you probably are. Don't be afraid to explore and experiment to figure it all out, be you and don't worry too much about the label.
crushinIn003seconds
July 15th, 2018 12:41pm
My personal experience with this, I've not exactly had an attraction to every single male but I've had an attraction somewhat to some males when i was in education and this did give me an idea. You could go years and years without feeling attraction for the same gender but then there could be someone who pops out of now where and you just feel the attraction for them. You know when you know, you'll get feelings, you'll feel some sort of attraction that is just more than friends. It took me years to figure my sexuality out.
Anonymous
July 19th, 2018 5:20am
Well, bisexuality as I know it is characterized by feeling attraction towards more than one gender (speaking in a binary manner, it'd mean liking both men and women). Sexuality is defined by attraction, so you'll know you're bisexual if you feel that certain attraction. Of course, because of society's rules and expectations that are imposed on us since birth, we may not recognize our sexuality at first. Personally, I think that one of the ways you could check if you're bisexual or not is analysing your attraction towards people and how you think about them. Because of heteronormativity, we may feel compiled to discard any feelings outside of heterosexuality. For you to be able to question yourself, you need to deconstruct those ideas. Bisexuals exist and you can be one in every way. You can prefer one certain gender and you can not have a preference, since sexuality is a spectrum. Try to notice if people who aren't your "opposite gender" catch your attention and if you'd want to engage in any form of romantic or sexual relationship with them. Only you can say if you're bi, but it's a long path and you don't need to rush to have a label. Take your time to experiment with people and discover your true nature. I'm not sure if I was of any help, but I hope so. Good luck though!
hollykg
July 19th, 2018 8:16pm
Ask yourself these questions: do I feel attracted to the opposite sex? do i feel attracted to the same sex? can i see myself falling in love with either sex? if you answered yes to all three of those questions, then you are likely bisexual.
fakehermione
July 26th, 2018 9:50am
Since I was little I couldn't understand why the "right thing" was boys being with girls. For me, it was all the same. I always felt attracted to both genres and I can see myself with a boy or with a girl in the future.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 9:52pm
You're attracted to both binary genders. I am a bisexual female myself and I prefer women more than men.
beccawebb7
July 27th, 2018 4:09am
(I identify as bi/pan btw) You know if you're bisexual if you feel attraction to both girls and guys. You can still have a preference for girls or guys, but you feel attracted to people of both genders.
Anonymous
July 29th, 2018 3:11am
You just do actually You start to have feelings for boys and girls
Anonymous
August 10th, 2018 12:33am
It's hard to figure out your sexuality, I get it. The main thing is if you are attracted to both men and women, you are bisexual.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2018 2:51pm
Well depending on what gender, lets say your a female, if you’re attracted to females the same way you’re attracted to males than that could be one way. It takes a while to know, for some people it will be challanging to admit it to yourself before you tell anyone else
caringEnergy22
August 11th, 2018 5:17pm
Do you need to know? Personally, I like who I like and I don't mind whether it concerns a boy/girl/anything in between. I know some people prefer more straightforward answers. If you're part of that last category: you even questioning if you're bi, might be part of the answer. Most people don't even think of the possibility ;).
S229
August 12th, 2018 1:04am
Bisexuality is being attracted to both sexes (male and female). You don't have to like them equally, you could like boys more than you like girls and vise versa. Careful not to mis it with bicuriosity though, which is simply you are unsure of being bisexual or in experimental mode.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 7:53pm
If you feel any motivation to kiss both genders than you may be bisexual. You can always love one gender more then the other one, and you can date men your whole life or only date woman your whole life and still be bisexual.
Anonymous
August 23rd, 2018 2:20am
Well for this question its more of how you feel. And you'll know once you feel it . When I was younger I wasn't attracted to guys but I liked girls how others liked boys . And when I grew older it started to make more sense of oh hey I like this . Idk if that makes sense but it's of how you feel and love . And if you feel like no one will love you because you are bisexual or any sexuality . We all love you because you are human and you have every right to love who you love .
gladyourehere
August 30th, 2018 10:31pm
Generally, people define bisexuality as the experience of sexual (or romantic) feelings for two (or more) genders. If you feel like that definition fits you, I think you could define your sexuality as bisexual. It doesn't matter if this is about men, women, non-binary people or other genders. The proportion in which you like these genders can differ as well. Some bisexual people like men mostly, and woman a little. Other bisexual people might have equal feelings for women, men and non-binary people. They can all define themselves as bisexual. Some people like labels, some don't. If you like having a word for what you're feeling, that's great. But if you don't really care about labels that's fine too. If you have any other questions regarding this topic or would like some more explanation, please feel free to message me!
Anonymous
October 3rd, 2018 10:45pm
It is difficult to tell whether you are a certain sexuality. I would look at yourself and assess your feelings towards each gender over a period of time. If you find that you like both, then you a likely to be bi. Do not rush or feel the need to put yourself in a box and do what feels right. Remember, your feelings are valid. Being questioning is frustrating but you will work out your sexuality with patience. I would also recommend looking online and seeing if you identify with any bisexuals or other sexualities. The internet is a great tool to help you find the answers you want.