How to come out as agender to my family in a easy way?
Last Updated: 08/27/2019 at 12:02am
Rory Boutilier, Registered Professional Counsellor
I use a human-centered approach to help you reach your goals. You are the expert on you! Particular areas: life changes, decision-making, men's issues.
Top Rated Answers
For me, the easiest way to come out is in writing. There's no awkward trying to shove it into a conversation and you don't have to worry about missing any key point. However, what will be easiest for you will look different than it does for me. How do you find you articulate yourself best? One on one? When talking to a group? Over a phone? Writing it out? And what method do you think your family would be most receptive to? Do they already know about what it means to be agender? Will you have to educate them? Do you want to be the one to educate them or would you rather just give them a bunch of references and have them go through that material before talking to you about it? For my parents, I'm writing out a little mini-book that I will then illustrate and give to them. It explains that I'm nonbinary, what exactly nonbinary is, a little history about what it generally means to be trans, and then what it specifically means to me to have this identity. Hope that gives you some ideas. Good luck.
You can express your feelings as openly as you can, tell them what it means to be who you are, how you realized you are agender, and reassure them that nothing changes in who you are as a person, you're still you though this part of your identity is different than they thought. Make sure they know you want to share it with them because they are important to you, and maybe tell them that you believe in your relationship and you're sure they know that nothing changes in the person you are. You can also encourage them to ask you any questions they have about it, let them express their doubts and discuss it together, since it's possible that they don't know what agender means. Be patient, it's possible that they'll need more time to come to terms with it, but what truly matters is that they give you a chance to be listened and understood. And after all, those who truly love and care for you will accept you for who you are. What matters the most for them is just to see you happy!
I think the easiest way to come out as agender depends a little bit on what you’re comfortable doing. If you get nervous talking about your gender, then you could write a letter to your family that says your gender and preferred name/pronoun(if needed). If you want to come out and just say it, then go for it. If you think baking is easy, bake something with black, gray, green, and white(colors of the agender flag). I would say that the easiest way to come out is by incorperating your outing into something you love- it will be easier for you and easier for them to accept.
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