I am female and attracted to women, but I have no desire to date or have sex with other women. What does this mean and am I still considered as bi?
Last Updated: 02/15/2021 at 1:45am
Graham Barrone, Adip ICHP, MCBT
If you've found that your quality of life has reduced because of anxiety, fear or some kind of mental hurdle that you just can't get over then lets chat.
Top Rated Answers
One may be attracted to people in many different ways: romantic, sexual and aesthetic attraction don't necessarily imply each other. You may be attracted to girls aesthetically, but not necessarily in a romantic or sexual way, for example. You can choose to identify with any orientation that you think represents you better, or you can choose not to identify with any specific orientation, if you don't feel like there is one that perfectly desribes you are. It would be ok, people are complex and not everyone is comfortable with labels. If you think that "bisexual" applies to you, though, feel free to identify as such! Your orientation is not something attached somewhere inside you to be discovered: it's nothing more than what you feel you are.
I guess the question you'd need to ask yourself is WHY you are uninterested in being with women if you are attracted to them. Or perhaps do some internal exploration to try to figure out what attracts you to them and what you want out of that attraction. Do you just want to appreciate (for lack of a better term) women? Do you want to be platonically close to them? Do you crave emotional intimacy without the physical intimacy? Unfortunately, this is a question only you can answer. Sexuality can be confusing at the best of times, so I wish you the best of luck. I would recommend doing some research on some sexualities and romantic orientations other than "the big 3" (straight, gay, bi) that are most focused on in our society and see if any of those sound like what you are feeling.
There are two different kinds of attractions romantic attraction, and sexual attraction. It sounds to me like you are experiencing romantic attraction towards woman, but not sexual attraction! A term used to describe this is called either homoromantic (if you are only romantically attracted to women and not men) or biromantic (if you are romantically attracted to men and women.)
It's up to you to define your identity. Sometimes people who are bi will have very limited attraction to one gender, either way it's okay! It's also okay if you end up finding out that you're straight, lots of times people who are straight will be aesthetically attracted to other genders. Really, it's all up to you to figure out where you stand, and whatever conclusion you come to it's okay. Sexuality is a complicated thing, especially when you consider that sexual attraction and romantic attraction can be different, and you can also even just have aesthetic attraction as well!
How you identify is up to you! You could be aesthetically attracted to women or be physically attracted to them and still not want to have sex with them. It sounds like this is something you get to explore, and it is no one else's place to define you. Take time to understand what this means to you, and if you decide you do want to identify as bi, then you are bi - likewise, if you don't want to identify as bi, that is okay too. Don't worry about figuring this all out right now, you are allowed to take your time to figure out your sexuality.
Related Questions: I am female and attracted to women, but I have no desire to date or have sex with other women. What does this mean and am I still considered as bi?
How do I come out as nonbinary?I've just come to terms with being transgender. How do I come out to my girlfriend of many years?How do I tell my boyfriend that I'm transgender?Is there any chats/groups/forums specifically for Transgender teens 18 and under?What does it mean to be Queer? I'm love with my best friend, but she's straight. What do I do?How do I come out to my parents?How to deal with falling in love for your best (and straight) friend?How can I explain homosexuality to my parents?Hi. I’ve had trouble with my family lately. My mom says she supports me-being an enby but won’t call me by my pronouns. And got angry at me now I’m in trouble. Please help?