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I am gay and I'm in love with a straight, what can I do?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 11/08/2019 at 2:10pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
February 26th, 2015 3:38am
If you are gay and you are in love with a straight person, there is nothing you can really do. This happens quite frequently, and as much as you want to be with the person, if the person doesn't want to be with you, there is nothing you can do about it.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2015 11:18pm
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Anonymous
February 25th, 2015 2:18pm
You gotta first confirm whether it's love or attractions! And once you confirm that it's love then if the person is really understanding, really loves you as a friend! Then u tell him as one's friendship should be much stronger than love! There's no crime in loving a straight person!
InLoveWithStraight
November 8th, 2019 2:10pm
I am currently going through the same thing . I am in love with a coworker/friend He is straight and there is absolutely no chance at all and I know that. I wish I did not have these feelings but how do you control what your heart feels ? If anyone has an answer please let me know. Lol. I am currently in a relationship too but I can’t get him out of my head. Sometimes my heart just aches for him. We are very close and he is the most sweetest and caring guy I know but trust me, he is straight ! I would never tell him for fear that may push him away and damage our friendship. I think he would feel awkward around me if he knew how I felt so I just keep it to myself. I know the best thing is to move on. Nothing good will come out of it I just need to figure out how to shut my feelings down. That’s the plan right now anyway. If I can do that it will take that heartache away and I can concentrate on my own relationship before I ruin that one I just need to move on somehow Best of luck to everyone !
geovanisouza92
April 6th, 2015 11:49am
Forget it. Otherwise you'll only hurt yourself and loose the chance to meet somebody and have a real relationship.
Anonymous
January 26th, 2016 1:13am
If your in love with a striaght, the best way is to express your feelings to the lover.this will hel
positiveWhisper24
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
April 10th, 2015 11:26pm
You can join the club. The club of gay people who have been in love with a straight. Seriously. First thing is know that this has happened to literally EVERYONE. But does it really make a difference if they are straight or gay, if at the end of the day they are someone who is not attracted to you? It's the same thing, only the have sort of already turned you down by being straight. Just be careful with your heart and be sensitive to their feelings, and keep looking. You will find someone who's right for you.
JayBird8000
September 15th, 2015 3:29am
Honestly, you can't do a thing. Sure, you can confess & hope they somehow feel the same. But it's like if someone of the gender you werent attracted to tried to convince you to become straight for them. Wouldn't that be rude and bothersome? You cant help the way you feel, and neither can they. I suggest accepting this, and trying to move on.
ooopossum
April 24th, 2015 9:04pm
In my experience, situations like this have never ended well. I would advise against trying to pursue the person or attempting to "change" them, and instead try to move on and look for someone new. You deserve someone who is attracted to you fully, and someone who is straight cannot do that. It may be hard but I know that you can move on and find someone who really deserves your love!
readerandwriter
September 7th, 2015 10:34pm
Sorry to say, but you can't change someone's sexuality. If the person you love is straight, the only thing to do is try to move on.
RibbonOfLight4
June 28th, 2016 10:07pm
Move forward. Those loves are like falling in love with a teacher, or a straight falling in love with a gay, or falling in love with a married person, or falling in love with a singer or an actor. It's just not possible. We've all been through it... So, you can overcome this :)
Greatlistener87
June 27th, 2016 6:50am
You have to respect that the person you like is straight just like how he respect and accept you being Gay. If you feel you can't help falling for that person then maybe you can try going out with other people and spending less time together.
Silverlining1512
September 13th, 2016 1:47pm
Unfortunately not very much romantically. Everyone has room in their life for friends, so try focussing on friendship over relationship.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2017 11:15pm
Let me start by saying that I have been in your position before and it's such a difficult one to be in. If you know said person well and are sure they are straight, from my experience the only option is to move on. I know that is easier said than done and there's no one piece of advice I could give to help but always know that what you're going through is and will be hard and that will always be others there to help.
Kat140615xx
July 19th, 2016 1:09am
Be honest with the person Who your in love with, Then you may have some closure if they do not feel the same way, But honestly is always best policy else it eat you up inside,
practicalMap8555
May 1st, 2018 5:45pm
im in the same position right now. look i beleive and im planning to do it too that you need to express your feelings. but you also need to be uptaded and known with the fact that thee they maybe are some consequences from that person . maybe he say what you expressed his gang or something. of course what you are doing is not a shame but some people havent got any mind. so considering this you are ready for whatever it takes. remember NO ONE CAN JUDGE YOU. THERE IS HELP FROM FRIENDS , FAMILY , VIA THIS SITE ALSO. But you need to know that if the person doesnt want to do something with you, you need to pass no matter what...