I don’t feel the emotion of liking people in a romantic way. Is there something wrong with me?
Last Updated: 11/18/2019 at 5:31pm
Caroline Middelsdorf, MSc.
I am a warm hearted, patient, calm and open-minded therapist. I am here to dedicate my expertises to my clients and their individual challenges, thoughts and feelings.
Top Rated Answers
Nothing wrong at all. Sexual and romantic orientations are different concepts and they do not always coincide. So you can feel sexual attraction towards someone, but no romantic attraction. Your romantic orientation would be "aromatic", indicating lack of romantic attraction. And that's ok, you can still pursue any kind of relationship that doesn't involve romantic love. It can be emotional-intellectual connection or simply sexual relationships.
Not feeling romantic feelings / attraction is totally ok :) It can be called aromanticism, and some people even label it as an orientation in itself. Attraction (whether romantic or sexual) is a spectrum that varies in intensity (no attraction ----> attraction) and in object (men, women, non-binary genders, people of any gender, people without considering their gender, etc). It can varies in time during life or stay the same all the way. Lack of romantic or sexual attractions are often considered as something abnormal, because it's not common, and it's easy to think about it as the symptom of trauma, past issues, mental illness or whatever... But it's just not the case at all. The important thing to focus on is whether it's a burden for you (do you feel sad about it, do you "miss" that kind of connection, is it something you look after ?) or if it's ok with you (and the apprehension that there could be "something wrong with you" is due to social pressure, the will to feel "normal / like the majority" etc)... If it's the first one, then maybe you could benefit from some help to identify how you can deal with it, find other way to connect, or explore if there is something that prevent you from feeling romantic attraction toward people. If it's the latest, maybe you would want to work on liberating yourself from social expectations and pressure, and raising your sense of validity and self-esteem.. One thing is sure : you're not alone. The Ace community is reachable on the internet and I'm sure you'll be able to find lots of stories, ressources, support and answers to the questions you can ask yourself in this situation. And don't forget, there is more than one way to love, more than one way to feel attraction toward people, more than one way to find happiness :)
There is nothing wrong with you! You may identify as aromantic, meaning that you don’t experience romantic attraction. This is a completely normal and valid identity. There are many people in the LGBT community who identify as aromantic (aro for short). It doesn’t make you any less of a person or limit your chances in the future. If you’re still feeling concerned regarding your identity maybe it would help to reach out to a listener or talk to another member of the LGBT community, whether that be online or in person, in order to get some more information or just validation.
Firstly, I would just like to say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you at all and I think you're awesome just the way that you are! I too don't feel any romantic feelings but, whilst I can't assign you a label or even force you to use one at all, perhaps, simply as a suggestion, it could be a sign of being what is known as "aromantic". This doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you and hey, maybe it is just a case of not finding the right person out there for you, but even if it isn't your feelings and lack of romantic feeling are perfectly valid and there's nothing to be ashamed of
There is nothing wrong with you! Some people just aren’t attracted to others romantically. The label for this is aromantic, meaning “non-romantic”. Aromanticism doesn’t mean that you have to be asexual, so you may still experience sexual attraction or feel emotion of liking people in a sexual way. Both are valid identities in the LGBTQ+ community. You and your identity are completely valid and there is nothing wrong with you. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. You don’t have to tell people your identity if you don’t want to, but you can if you want to. Hope this helps!
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