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I don't know what my sexuality is. I sometimes like men, sometimes women other both but really often no one. What does that mean?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 04/26/2021 at 1:47pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy


I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.

Top Rated Answers
July 31st, 2017 5:33pm
Grey asexuality is when you experience small amounts of romantic or sexual attraction. There is no "normal" form of sexuality. Hell, some people don't even use labels. Don't force a label that doesn't fit. Stay true to yourself. And p.s. this is something for you to come to terms with, it is nobody else's business
October 31st, 2017 9:14am
Well, from what I know from learning about the very broad spectrum of sexuality that is known to us, there is something called abrosexuality. This is when your sexuality and the people whom you're attracted to fluctuates and changes, with no real set one. It may be that. Or there is also the difference between romantic attraction and physical (sexual) attraction. So you may be attracted emotionally/romantically to some but not physically. This is just my answer of course, there could me many other possibilities. :)
August 6th, 2017 2:57pm
Let me begin by saying: You are the best source of information on your own sexuality. That being said, the best label that I can think of is bisexual or biromantic asexual, but you get to make the decision as to what to label yourself.
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
August 13th, 2019 12:01pm
If you can potentially like men and women, you are bisexual. The fact that your attraction fluctuates and is not always fixed is normal, sexual attraction can be quite fluid. But if you can potentially like men and women, it doesn't matter if you don't always like both at the same time, or if sometimes you don't feel attraction at all: you are still bisexual, maybe with a lower sexual drive than others.
March 27th, 2018 11:13am
It could mean many things. Remember that sexuality is not always completely solid. It's fluid, it changes. I'm actually the same way as you, and personally I identify as bisexual. But it really is a matter of personal preference - what sounds best identity sounds most accurate for you. You'll get there, I promise.
June 13th, 2018 11:09am
Your sexuality is just a label. Nowadays you can like who you like and thats that. If you are bisexual, thats great! Just like if you are fully gay or straight etc - thats great too! Don't feel like you have to use a label. Some people don't, if you do decide you want to use a label, make sure that it fits you.
July 20th, 2017 10:41am
It's really up to you to find out. But there's no rush in it! You still have your whole life to find out who you like, and whether you care what's in their pants. And there's also no need to put a label on it, if you like someone and it feels good, then there's really no need to tell yourself you're gay/bisexual/straight.
July 26th, 2017 3:36pm
It's okay to feel confused, sexuality is something that spreads across a spectrum and there is no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to your sexuality! It can help to speak to friends and family about how you feel, and I've always found writing my thoughts down helps organise how I feel. All the best!
September 4th, 2017 11:38am
Sexuality is very fluid, many peeople have times when they feel attraction towards one gender and times when they feel ttraction towards the other. Don't label yourself and see where are your feelings headed to.
September 5th, 2017 2:49pm
I think that mean your gender is not the most important thing for you, you value other things. Like... If someone doesn't care about clothes he/she wears any random things and doesn't pay much attention. Just be yourself, doesn't matter is it a boy or a girl.
September 5th, 2017 9:26pm
At the end of the day, your sexuality is just a label. Like who you like, and have no shame in it. If you turn out to be bisexual - awesome. Fully gay, that's great too. Straight, sure, that's good too. Just like who you want to like, and I'm sure it will work out fine for you.
February 13th, 2018 3:57pm
It is completely normal and okay to not know what your sexuality is. Sometimes sexuality is very fluid, and other times it seems set in stone. I would just allow yourself to welcome whatever feelings you seem to have and embrace them! Dont feel pressured to label it, because sometimes there is never really the “correct” way to do so!
June 4th, 2018 7:53am
It means you're in the process of finding out what your preference is. This can be a long and tedious process, but often a necessary one. If someone asks what your sexuality is, just say you don't know. It's fully allowed to want to experiment and want to switch until you find one you're comfortable with. Personally I said I was straight for the longest time, until I got a girlfriend. Then for a while I said I was bisexual, then went to lesbian before going back to bisexual (which I am today). So it's allowed to go back and forth too. Take your time, don't rush anything. It's an important decision, one you can change at any time.
April 26th, 2021 1:47pm
First of all, it does not mean that anything is wrong. You are valid no matter what your sexuality is and you don't even need to label yourself if you don't want to. When you feel like you are struggling with it and really want to know what your sexuality is maybe try to go back a step in your mind and just ask yourself why did I like this person. Maybe something is similar to every person you've liked and can help you figure out what your sexuality is. Remember to take your time, your sexuality is not the business of any other person and its your choice to understand what it means for you. It is not my place to tell you what it means especially as it is not my life.