Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I identify as non-binary. Is it normal to still go by she/her pronouns just because that is what I am more comfortable with?

8 Answers
Last Updated: 06/01/2021 at 8:00am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Amanda Wiginton, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Now is the time to make a change! Professional, empathic, and compassionate therapist waiting to help you make healthy life changes.

Top Rated Answers
December 19th, 2017 11:36pm
If you'd rather go by she/her, go for it! Gender identity is different for everyone and is all about finding the place that's more comfortable for you! And if you want to try things out and then decide they're not right for you, then that's fine! Come on down to the LGBTQ+ subcommunity if you want to chat more. There's plenty of cool people to chat with and, as a fellow nonbinary, I can say with full certainty that everyone is welcome regardless of situation.
October 22nd, 2018 3:35am
You can use whatever pronouns you are comfortable with! You are used to being called she/her, so you are more used to it. Your pronouns do not make your identity as non-binary any less valid. Pronouns do not and will not ever define you, only you get to pick who you are and what you want to be. You can be proud of who you are and your identity, even with she/her pronouns. Just know that people who don't know you may assume you are something you are not, but their opinion should not be important in defining you. Your identity is valid, your pronouns are valid, you are valid.
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
July 30th, 2019 10:14pm
Sure! Your gender identity is all about how you feel about yourself. Some people prefer to express it in certain ways, including changing pronouns, like switching to "they" pronouns... But ultimately, it is all about your self-perception, not how you present yourself to the world. Anything is good as long as it makes you feel comfortable, and your identity is mot less valid because of this!
December 23rd, 2017 11:50pm
I also identify as non-binary and also go by she/her pronouns. I do so because I was raised with them, and feel like changing them would be a big hassle. I did, however, change my name. But she/her fit me often enough, so I'm not uncomfortable. I think that is the most important thing, to be comfortable. If you're comfortable being referred to with she/her pronouns while still identifying as non-binary than that is just that. When you stop feeling comfortable, try out something else. It's all fine.
November 26th, 2019 4:27pm
What's normal is to go by whatever you feel comfortable with. the LGBTQ+ community is all about being true to who you are, right? So go by what you feel comfortable with, and don't worry about what other people think of you. If they're judging you by something you can't control, then you don't need them in your life. Please, no matter what, know that you are not alone. I know the feeling like you're alone in your own corner of the worlds and that no one understands, but there are so many people out there who are supportive and kind. All you have to do is find them.
January 18th, 2021 8:46am
Yes of course you can be nonbinary and go by she/her pronouns if that's what you're more comfortable with! I am nonbinary too and I go by she/they because that is what fits the best to me. Nonbinary is just not feeling completely like a girl or boy, you don't have to use they/them pronouns to count as nonbinary. The same goes with clothing, you don't have to look androgynous to identify as nonbinary, be as feminine or masculine as you want! If you feel more comfortable going by she/her that is completely okay! You are still nonbinary and super valid
February 23rd, 2021 1:50am
Of course! Sometimes switching pronouns can be uncomfortable at first and may not feel natural. Or, you could be non-binary with she/her pronouns. Your pronouns do not equal your gender. However, if you’re interested in they/them pronouns I would recommend asking some friends to help you test them out. I recently came out as gender fluid and using pronouns other than she/her felt weird at first. But as time went on and I adjusted to the new pronouns, I felt comfortable with them. And a mandatory reminder that you do not need to use they/them to be non-binary! Your gender is valid no matter what :)
June 1st, 2021 8:00am
Thank you for sharing that with us here. Pronouns do not equal gender identity. So for an example, a cis person may use they / them because they may like it or it might suit them better. So yes, if you are a non binary person using she / her pronouns if that's what you are comfortable with, that is completely valid and okay! And very much normal too. Not every non binary person goes by they / them pronouns! You could also use two or more set of pronouns at the same time if you are exploring them. (: