I’m 13 and I know I like boys. I could only ever picture myself marrying a man. Does thinking a girl is pretty make me bi?
Last Updated: 07/02/2019 at 3:44am
Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.
Top Rated Answers
To me it comes down to weather or not you want a relationship with a girl. There is nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality and trying a relationship with a girl. However, just because you think a girl is pretty does not necessarily make you go.
I understand what you mean. No, thinking a girl is pretty doesn't necessarily make you bi; there's a difference between appreciating someone aesthetically and feeling attracted to them, though that line can be hard to find. Have you ever felt attracted to a girl? Can you picture being in a relationship, being in love, walking with her down the street, hand in hand? Or on the other hand, kissing a girl? Even if the idea is unfamiliar, I'd consider whether you find it appealing. All of that being said, there's no pressure to figure out your sexuality yet, it's totally okay to not know!
Finding someone’s physical appearance attractive doesn’t change your sexuality. Sexuality is based on sexual and emotional attraction rather than physical attraction. If you say that you can only see yourself marrying a man then that’s what’s going to determine your sexuality. Any gender can find any gender attractive and that has no influence on their sexuality. Think about who you’d want to have an emotional or sexual relationship with and that is what’s going to help you determine your sexuality. What matters the most is that you’re being true to yourself and to your identity, whatever that may be.
Noticing girls' beauty doesn't necessarily mean you're attracted to them. You can admire the beauty of girls even if you're only attracted to boys, because there's a big difference between recognizing beauty and being attracted to it. If you like boys and can imagine yourself with them, but you don't feel the same about girls, then most likely you're not bi.
Anyone can appreciate the beauty in anyone else. Noticing that someone is pretty is you being observant of the people around you and admiring the beauty around you and there is nothing wrong with that. Something to remember is to not compare yourself to someone because they do not look or act like you. We have to remember the beauty in ourselves and admiration of ones self is just as important as admiration for anyone else. It is just like noticing a flower or a cloud in the sky we can admire it and know our worth at the same time.
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