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I'm a 14 year old lesbian. I'm scared of coming out to my dad, I'm scared that he'll see it as purely a sexual thing. Since I'm only 14, I fear he'll think of it as a "phase." help?

4 Answers
Last Updated: 11/23/2021 at 10:30pm
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Top Rated Answers
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
October 15th, 2019 1:25pm
You can try to be completely honest about why you started questioning, how you found out who you really are, what it means to be like you. Make sure he knows he can ask you questions if he has any, and be ready with some link to provide him concerning the innateness of orientations, so if he has doubts about it you can help him do some research. If he loves you, though, I'm sure he'll give you a chance to be listened and understood, and will welcome you as you are!
September 8th, 2020 5:46pm
First off, you should know that age doesn't matter when it comes to these stuff. People figure out themselves sooner or later. As long as you are aware of this, as long as you are okay with yourself, then I promise it will be fine in the end. When it comes to coming out to parents though, I don't think you should do it until you feel 100% comfortable with the idea. Your priority is being safe, before anything else. If you are afraid of coming out now, then maybe it's not the right time. Think about it. If you still want to do it though, be sure you have other sources of support, emotional and financial, if needed (let's hope it doesn't come to this, though). Unfortunately, changing someone's opinion on such a thing is almost impossible. Try to be speak to him maturely, calmly, maybe bring in scientific facts. It sucks, yeah, parents should understand us, but be patient with him. He might change his mind at some point :) A parent's journey of accepting their child's sexuality is not always linear. Be safe.
September 28th, 2020 4:11pm
Try to give him some hints as to what your sexuality is like maybe bring up girls every now and then just try and drop subtle hints and if he seems like he wont be supportive i suggest you dont come out to him until you are older so that you will be able to get out of the situation if he is not supportive now you do not have to take my suggestion at all and you can come out to him anyways but please consider having a backup plan just in case take care and i hope this helped you!!
November 23rd, 2021 10:30pm
From my experience, it may be easier to find subtle ways to hint toward LGBT topics beforehand. Even if he's shown some other hints of his opinion in the past, it could be entirely possible that you've misunderstood or that he's changed as a person since then. So for example, bringing up the topic of same-sex marriage or talking about Pride could be a safer gateway into the topic. However if you have LGBT friends nearby, I'd probably not mention that to him if you're afraid he's homophobic since he may think they're influencing you. Good luck! I know it's difficult, but even if he isn't accepting at first, he could always come around.