I'm emotionally attracted to men and women but only sexually attracted to men. Is there a word for that?
Last Updated: 07/20/2021 at 1:49am
Hannah Caradonna, MSW, RCSW (RCC #11330)
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Top Rated Answers
Firstly I'd like to note that the best label is one that you're comfortable with! This can even be no label, if you'd rather that. The way that we generally describe attraction is in two parts: romantic and sexual, just like you've described in your question. Who we're attracted to romantically can be defined as our romantic orientation, and those who we're attracted to sexually can be defined as our sexual orientation. Generally, every sexual orientation has it's romantic counterpart. In this case, your emotional attraction to men and women could be labelled as biromantic, and your sexual attraction as hetero or homosexual, depending on your gender. So, in short the term you could use is biromantic heterosexual or biromantic homosexual.
Yes! What you're experiencing is a divergence between sexual and romantic orientation, which can happen sometimes and it's totally normal! Based on your feelings, you would a biromantic heterosexual if you're a woman, or a biromantic homosexual if you're a man.
There is! If you're a woman than you're biromantic and heterosexual. If you're a man you're biromantic and homosexual.
While I appreciate the previous answers to your question, I must agree with PhoenixAsh in saying that no one else can label you except for you. As humans we have attempted to apply labels in order for our minds to organize and categorize, however, only you can define your sexual orientation if you feel it needs to be defined at all! I would also like to say that its awesome that you are so conscious about how you feel and that you are able to separate your emotional attraction and sexual attractions. I am often asked to help people define their orientation, I believe that orientation is a broad picture that encompasses not only who we have sex with but who we feel connected too, who we feel whole with. It is emotional, physical, sexual, spiritual, and soulful. You do not need a label in order to find love. Who gives you sparks? Who makes you smile that most unique smile!
Biromatic: would mean that one is romantically attracted to both men and women. There may not be one word in all honesty. That's why people sometimes identify as queer.
There is. If you're a girl, it'd be biromantic, heterosexual, and if you're a boy it'd be biromantic homosexual. Though. If you're a girl, there's definitely a chance you be experiencing internalized homophobia. People who only experience sexual attraction to one gender, and romantic to two genders, definitely exist. But often it's internalized homophobia. So you should definitely take that into consideration, and be careful using that label.
I think you are looking for bi- or pan-romantic but hetero- or homo-sexual. You will usually see people list this like "biromantic/homosexual". There is a lot of discourse about the differences between the bi and pan prefix, but pick whatever you feel the most comfortable with. The argument usually goes that pan is more inclusive of non-binary and trans gender identities, while bi can help imply a difference in the type of attraction that is felt towards people of different genders (eg attraction to a man feels harder while attraction to a woman feel softer). I hope this answer is helpful!
Sexual interest and romantic interest are two different things entirely. After reading how you feel, I would say that you are biromantic and either homosexual or heterosexual, depending on your gender identity. However, there are also a lot, and I mean a lot, of other words that can describe your sexuality and romantic interest. If you need help figuring things out, you can always chat with one of the listeners on the site, or even with a parent or somebody else who is knowledgeable in the idea of sexual attraction and romantic attraction outside of the typical heterosexual and heteroromantic biases.
Some people use the split attraction model to help define their romantic and sexual orientation. This means that they describe themselves using more than one oriented label. For example, your attraction might be described as biromantic heterosexual (or otherwise depending on your gender). However, since attraction is on a spectrum, this description may or may not fit your lived experience. If this label works for you, that's wonderful! If it doesn't, than it may be worthwhile to look at LGBTQ+ forums or attend a local LGBTQ+ gathering to learn about other labels. Or you can choose to describe your attraction exactly the way you did in your question. You can label (or not label) yourself however you feel comfortable. It's great that you are getting to know yourself more intimately by figuring out who you are attracted to!
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