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Im straight but why do I feel weird around really really good looking men?

2 Answers
Last Updated: 12/23/2019 at 3:10pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Shawn Wilson, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide supportive counseling and psychotherapy. I utilize cognitive-behavioral and solution focused strategies to address client concerns. Personal coaching is available.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
December 23rd, 2019 3:10pm
Attractions has many forms. It doesn't necessarily have to be sexual, it could simply be a strong aesthetic attraction. It's totally possible to find people attractive, but not in a sexual way. If the fantasy of engaging in sexual relationships with men is not appealing to you, then it's likely a very strong aesthetic attraction, which would still be compatible with your heterosexuality.
December 21st, 2019 5:53pm
I can relate, and I think it's pretty normal. (I also feel weird around really good-looking women.) In part, our brains are attracted to people we think are beautiful; we naturally get a hit of pleasure from seeing them and want their attention (adults demonstrate this blatantly around adorable children and babies). Beauty also carries social status, so we instinctively seek acceptance from people we think are beautiful. Depending on how you feel about your own appearance (most of us have some insecurity), it can also be a bit intimidating, even threatening ("Will I be compared to this person and rejected by others?"). So... a bit of pleasure, a bit of anxiety, plus (if we're straight) an added layer of confusion about what these reactions might mean about us ("Am I actually gay but not aware of it?"). So, in my experience at least, it's a mixture of feelings that could feel "weird." One option I like is to take a breath and explore my own reaction with curiosity and some kindness toward myself; whatever this surprising "weirdness" is, I don't need to act on it if I don't want to; I can get to know it and expand my awareness of what it is to be me (and to be human).