Im straight but why do I feel weird around really really good looking men?
Last Updated: 08/09/2021 at 4:25am
Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.
Top Rated Answers
Attractions has many forms. It doesn't necessarily have to be sexual, it could simply be a strong aesthetic attraction. It's totally possible to find people attractive, but not in a sexual way. If the fantasy of engaging in sexual relationships with men is not appealing to you, then it's likely a very strong aesthetic attraction, which would still be compatible with your heterosexuality.
I can relate, and I think it's pretty normal. (I also feel weird around really good-looking women.) In part, our brains are attracted to people we think are beautiful; we naturally get a hit of pleasure from seeing them and want their attention (adults demonstrate this blatantly around adorable children and babies). Beauty also carries social status, so we instinctively seek acceptance from people we think are beautiful. Depending on how you feel about your own appearance (most of us have some insecurity), it can also be a bit intimidating, even threatening ("Will I be compared to this person and rejected by others?"). So... a bit of pleasure, a bit of anxiety, plus (if we're straight) an added layer of confusion about what these reactions might mean about us ("Am I actually gay but not aware of it?"). So, in my experience at least, it's a mixture of feelings that could feel "weird." One option I like is to take a breath and explore my own reaction with curiosity and some kindness toward myself; whatever this surprising "weirdness" is, I don't need to act on it if I don't want to; I can get to know it and expand my awareness of what it is to be me (and to be human).
What do you exactly mean when you say you feel weird? Is it like you feel attracted to them which feels weird to you as you are straight or is it you feel unsafe around them thinking they might be gay and do something to you as some people have that perspective towards gay men. If you feel attracted to them then it doesn't necessarily mean that you are gay, appreciating their looks if they look good and feeling they are good looking is a different kind of attractiveness. But if you feel unsafe then you should know that not everyone is like that and you should get more open-minded about homosexuality/LGBTQ. And if you feel like you ARE actually attracted to them well then don't be shy to follow your heart! It's okay to be yourself and nothing should stop you from being who you are! Hope this helps!
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