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Is it normal to not know who you actually are 100% till your an adult?

29 Answers
Last Updated: 10/26/2020 at 10:21pm
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Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
September 27th, 2016 8:53pm
I believe that your identity is always changing, so you may never know 100% who you are although you can come close. It's totally normal to feel like you are a stranger in your own body, especially before adulthood.
February 17th, 2015 1:41am
Not knowing exactly who you are is normal. Many people spend their early adult years 'finding themselves'. As you get older, your opinions and interests will develop and change.
January 16th, 2015 7:09pm
And even then you'll probably won't find out. All your life is a whole changing process. You'll be different every day, and every month, more every year. Don't worry about not knowing who you are, you will never 'be' anything clear. That's the beautiful part of being human, to never be something full but an evolving one.
March 11th, 2015 11:57pm
its completely normal, you're still growing, still learning and finding new things out. even some adults still dont know who they are or where they going. People get lost sometimes and find the best route to where they wanna be, just explore new chances! do what makes you happy until you find the right calling!
May 27th, 2015 12:46am
Yes! Even as adults we continue to grow and evolve into and away from ourselves. If this is not taking place we risk feeling complacent toward our lives and ourselves. It is important to keep in mind that intellectual and emotional growth are two constants that provide a sense of self that may change, grow more resilient, and alter likes and dislikes through out the years. Studies show the happiest ages are 23 and 65.
July 7th, 2015 9:12pm
Of course it is. As a young person, you're still discovering yourself and finding out who you are, this stage of life can continue way past adulthood because as a person you're always growing and changing.
March 29th, 2015 4:18pm
I think that's absolutely normal. Even as adult, I'm not sure how many adults out there know themselves 100%.
April 12th, 2015 6:05pm
I would believe that there are adults in this world who do not know who they are. It can take a lifetime to really get to know yourself. Ii would say not to be hard on yourself but to enjoy the journey of getting to know you. Enjoy finding out what you like and dislike, enjoy discovering all that this world has for you.
April 15th, 2015 8:43am
Even adults don't necessarily know who they are! I think there is this myth that you should have everything worked out. The fact is who you are changes over time, you will always be learning about yourself. I think things get a bit easier once you are no longer in your teenage years, because you are experiencing fewer changes. Getting to know yourself takes time, but you will get there :)
May 6th, 2015 2:37am
It's totally normal. We figure out who we are through our entire life. I don't believe there is ever a 100% It's a process, it never ends.
May 10th, 2015 11:42pm
Not only is it normal to not have yourself figured out 100% by the time you're an adult, but people continue to find out who they are throughout their life! Even by the time you get to adulthood if you want to keep searching for who you are, that's okay too!
May 14th, 2015 12:50am
It is extremely possible and to be honest, you probably wont ever be 100% sure who you are your whole life. We are constantly changing and becoming but, that's just the brilliance of life. Embrace change and use it to become the person you'd like to be :)
November 30th, 2015 8:31pm
Who you are is always a very fluid concept. Things that happen in your day to day life change your views and personality quite easily. Knowing who you are 100% is very difficult. And only temporary.
December 22nd, 2015 10:09pm
It is always normal not to know who you actually are 100% . ;) finding that out -or better yet - putting effort into becoming the person you want to be- is a life-long quest!
December 28th, 2015 10:56pm
It's normal to not know who you actually are even if you're an adult. I'm an adult and I'm learning new things about myself every single day.
March 1st, 2016 8:20am
Yes that is normal. Even some adults do not know who they are up till today. The exciting part about life is finding yourself and learning everyday.
May 17th, 2016 4:02pm
Yes, it is perfectly normal, there's loads of time to figure out who you are, take time and go with the flow.
July 5th, 2016 1:07am
For some reasons, it is normal not knowing who you actually by now. As you go on, time would reveal it to you, and that time, you'll be ready to be an adult and act on how you'll respond by accepting who you really are when you're adult.
September 27th, 2016 9:02am
Yes! Totally. Some adults dont even know who they are. It just takes time. Try to learn more about yourself over time: )
October 11th, 2016 3:16am
The ability to know ones self is a huge task. Some people never fully figure out who they are. The goal of life is to figure who you are and how to being happy in the situations that you are given.
October 11th, 2016 9:47pm
It is normal not to know who you are until any point in time. Everyone faces struggles throughout their life, but self-identifying is a sure common struggle.
February 6th, 2017 9:35pm
No one never knows exactly who they are. We all tend to find ourselves at different times and in many, many different ways. Our paces of finding who we are (for the most part) just differ person to person. So don't sweat it. Let what you are passionate about and how you change come without pushing it away or trying to hurry it.
June 19th, 2017 6:58pm
Absolutely. It is not at all wrong to not understand your own sexuality. It takes time to understand and accept what is happening and the changes that come with it.
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
July 3rd, 2017 11:59pm
Absolutely! Our identity is fluid, it can change through our life, it's not wrong to experience changes or to be complex enough to make it hard to label yourself. The good thing is we don't need labels! We can just be who we are and do what we feel like doing without having to define ourselves. There is a certain freedom in this.
August 21st, 2017 4:52pm
As an adult, I can say that I think most people don't know who they are 100% of the time. Self-actualization is a long, arduous process that takes a lifetime... We are dynamic beings that always have room for growth and change. It's a beautiful thing, to be able to flex and flow with new information and experiences, though this can sometimes make us feel unstable and anxious. I guess what I'm saying is, it's absolutely normal to have periods of time where you have no idea who you are, and to have periods of time where you know exactly who you are and what you want. When we are younger/teens, we are subject to more instability as we change from being a child to an adult, so these feelings can be more intense, so it's important to have patience with ourselves.
February 13th, 2018 6:53pm
Of course! There's not a specific time when you have to have everything figured out. It takes time to have everything figured out, and some people take more time than others. Once you're an adult, things start falling more into place (sometimes).
February 21st, 2018 12:00am
Yes, it is absolutly normal. And even then there is no guarantee you will know for sure who you are. You learn more and more about yourself as time goes on, and you change depending on circumstances, so there is always more to learn.
December 17th, 2019 4:18pm
Yes, its normal that's why I believe that we people should not rush things and learned to wait till its ur time so that you missed any single special moment in our life. In other words, not everything that we can know about ourselves is all that important to find out. Here we want to focus on the areas of self-knowledge that matter most in life: the areas concerned with the inner psychological core of the self. Self-knowledge is important for one central reason: because it offers us a route to greater happiness and fulfillment. A lack of self-knowledge leaves you open to accident and mistaken ambitions.
October 26th, 2020 10:21pm
I believe this to be normal. Childhood is time of development and learning what you are interested in and enjoy. There are many factors to really knowing oneself. I also believe there is a time line to truly figuring oneself out. I'm a young adult and I'm still trying to figure myself out. I try not to stress about not knowing 100% because life is constantly changing. Unexpected events happen that may change out look on life and how we do things or behave. I think to some point we should know who we are, but not all the way to 100%.