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Is it ok to not want to come out right now?

59 Answers
Last Updated: 11/24/2020 at 3:56am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Andrea Tuck, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I tackle and discuss a multitude of social and emotional health issues. I have a belief that through empowerment and non-judgmental support clients' can thrive.

Top Rated Answers
February 25th, 2015 1:23am
Of course! You should only come out whenever you feel is the right time! It's your life, your decision! When and who you choose to tell is up to you.
March 1st, 2015 9:49pm
That is totally okay and totally normal! There is no time as too when is the right time to come out. so do it when you are ready and when you feel comfortable.
May 11th, 2015 3:05am
Part of claiming the power of your coming out process is respecting your own timetable for telling people. It's YOUR life and YOUR sexuality so you deserve to make those choices when you want to.
June 1st, 2015 2:21pm
yes it's fine. Take your time. You don't have to do anything unless you want to. When you feel it's the right time, then come out.
June 11th, 2015 2:51am
Of course, you don't have to do it if you don't feel it or if you think it's not a good idead you don't have to do anything for anyone other than you.
June 29th, 2015 4:31pm
Of course it is. Coming out is one of the most personal things you can do. Do it when you're ready. That being said - it's very unhealthy to keep things bottled up. Take this opportunity to evaluate your coming out
October 24th, 2015 5:22pm
Of course that's okay! You come out when you want to and when you are ready, don't come out when you think you should, come out when you know you should and it will be so much easier and better, trust me. It's completely normal to want to wait and I don't blame you, it's a scary thought telling people you love that you're different to the way they think you are, so wait. Wait as long as you want. :)
April 30th, 2019 5:33am
It is totally okay to not want to come out as soon as you figure something out about yourself. You don’t ever have to come out until you feel comfortable with it. Your sexuality and or gender are not something you have to tell to everyone. Tell who you feel comfortable about telling. Never do you have to tell anyone that kind of stuff unless you feel comfortable about it. Just like it is okay not to tell about it if you don’t know 100% for sure if you are what it is. As we all grow, we can change and learn different things about ourself.
April 7th, 2015 8:16pm
You don't need to come out until you feel like you want to. Take your time and decide who you want to tell IF you want to tell anyone at all.
July 28th, 2015 3:05am
Of course. Coming out is something special that has to be saved for the right time. Once you're out, it's difficult to go back. From personal experience, I came out as exclusively gay to all of my friends, but now I have a girlfriend and that was quite difficult to explain to everyone. Coming out is a special thing that takes a LOT of courage to accomplish, but once you do it's most definitely worth it.
July 28th, 2015 6:14am
Coming out is a very personal experience, and it's important that you find the time that's right for you. If you've only just come to terms with it yourself, you may find that you want to wait a while before letting others know.
August 3rd, 2015 10:15am
It is okay if you feel like it's not the right time. Coming out is best when the time is right and when you feel comfortable to.
September 19th, 2015 11:09pm
Of course it is. No one, absolutely no one is entitled to knowing about your orientation or your gender identity. You can keep that to yourself for every possible reason: you don't feel entirely comfortable telling anyone; or you don't think it's the right time; or you feel like your environment won't be accepting of you. You're not being a bad person by not telling someone. You have every right to decide something so personal for yourself.
October 8th, 2015 10:11pm
Of course it is! If you are not comfortable, you should not have to feel forced to do something you do not want to do, you should be able to come out when you are ready.
October 18th, 2015 4:07am
That is up to you. If you feel that there is no point or gain from coming out right now, it is normal. A lot of people fear the worst about coming out but reflect on the good too when thinking about the timing. You could be your true self without hiding after coming out, there might be consequences but I'd like to think in the modern society we live in there shouldn't be too much trouble
October 21st, 2015 7:23pm
It's perfectly fine. I am straight, but most of my friends feel strongly about LGBTQ+. Tell others when you ARE ready.
October 21st, 2015 9:55pm
your body, your sexuality, your life. you come out whenever you feel like it you don't owe anything to anyone .you are a beautiful, amazing person and as long as you accept yourself for who you are, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks :)
October 22nd, 2015 1:20am
Yes! It;s perfectly fine to not want to come out now, or later, or even ever! It's your personal information, and if you don't want to share it, don't feel pressured to.
December 11th, 2015 4:03am
That is very very ok. Wait until you feel ready. I can guarantee that you will be happier if you make these decisions on your own terms instead of because you feel pressure to come out. Good luck to you.
January 25th, 2016 6:39am
It is 100% okay to not want to come out. It takes a while to gather up the strength and courage, and sometimes, when you think you've got it, you go up to the person and realize "Oh no! I don't think I'm ready!" And all of that is okay. Only come out if you are ready!
February 9th, 2016 1:44am
Absolutely! Coming out is an entirely personal decision and no one can tell you when you should or should not. If you feel that coming out is not safe or healthy for you right now (compromises your housing, risks your physical safety, etc.) then by all means wait for a better time. It does not make you any less of a person. Put yourself and your wellbeing first.
February 16th, 2016 11:08pm
Of course, you have to be ready. If you are not ready to come out then don't pressure yourself. But also remember that most people are more supportive than you think they are !
March 22nd, 2016 1:24am
It's perfectly okay! You should only come out when you feel you are ready and when you personally want to take that first step to living authentically.
May 23rd, 2016 1:21pm
Definitely. It's OK to take your time. Trust yourself enough to know when you're ready. Don't force yourself! :)
June 7th, 2016 3:40am
Your sexuality is your business. While you definitely shouldn't be afraid of it, you certainly hold the right to keep it yourself. You are the boss of YOU!
July 18th, 2016 8:19pm
Of course it is. Your orientation/gender is a very personal thing and it's your decision to share it when and if you want to.
September 20th, 2016 11:14pm
Of course it is! You shouldn't force yourself to come out if its not something you're ready for. It's a good idea to move at you're own pace. Get more comfortable with the idea small steps at a time :)
September 22nd, 2016 5:17am
I suggest that you wait a bit, do it when you feel the most comfortable and safe. Take your time, friend, no need to rush it.
October 4th, 2016 1:36am
It is completely ok to not want to come out at a certain time. Coming out is a big step in life that some are not ready for. :)
October 17th, 2016 3:13am
Of course! It's perfectly fine if you don't feel ready, or just don't want to come out at the moment!