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Is staying in the closet forever a bad thing?

62 Answers
Last Updated: 12/25/2020 at 9:41am
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Top Rated Answers
November 8th, 2014 12:10am
No, it's not a bad thing at all. It's your choice and if you wanna leave it like that, it's ok. In the end, being homosexual is a part of who we are so there's no need to be labeled as homosexual or heterosexual. You are just you, and your sexuality is personally your and noone else's business. In the end, noone goes around telling people they're heterosexuals, so it's the same in this case, you don't have to share your sexuality with others.
November 12th, 2014 2:34am
Yes, staying in the closet forever is a bad thing, but sometimes it's a necessary evil. Being in the closet involves lying, by omission or by practice, about who you are and what your desires are. It will injure your relationships with both friends and partners, and it will keep you in a constant state of concern of being found out. That being said, sometimes our life circumstances are such that the costs of coming out of the closet outweigh the benefits. If you are totally reliant on parents who are vigorously opposed, coming out can be difficult and fraught with pitfalls. Please feel free to reach out to me any time to talk about coming out or staying in the closet; I'm here to listen.
November 16th, 2014 5:34am
Staying in the closet forever can be a good thing or a bad thing, it really just depends on what the best option is for you. For some, it can be more safe and comfortable to stay in the closet, but for many others, it can feel isolating and depressing. I think there is no wrong choice when it comes to choosing how to live your life. For me personally, I am in the closet with some and open to others, it depends on when I feel the most safe and comfortable.
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
March 15th, 2015 9:45pm
That depends on whether your being closeted comes at the expense of someone else. If you're closeted, and, for example, you marry someone you are not sexually attracted to, that can be damaging and painful to that person.
November 15th, 2014 12:05am
The closet is a place where you stay while you hide your true self from the rest of the world. Being inside it or outside it is completely a personal choice, so there is no date set to coming out. The bad thing about the closet is that it hurts you, as it tends to isolate from the people around you. While I recommend not staying there too much, it depends a lot on your personal situation. If you feel like your safety would be in danger , do not come out. If you feel like you are drowning in the shadows, try to come out to someone close to you, so they can at least bring inside a torch to help you see a little light.
November 18th, 2014 1:40am
It's not a bad thing if that's what you feel is right. You should only come out if and when you are comfortable but you shouldn't feel pressured to either stay in or come out of the closet.
November 8th, 2014 11:12pm
No not at all, some people will choose never to come out of the closet, it is all down to personal choice and how you feel about things. Everyone is free to do whatever they like :)
June 12th, 2015 10:05am
Yes, because it will suppress you and when you suppress things, your subconscious will know that and it's toxic for your mental health and overall happiness. You will start feeling depressed, angry, upset, helpless and hopeless. It can damage you in so many ways and eventually your frustration will come out somehow. You cannot lie to yourself that way and keep things hidden, doing that to a natural part of you that there is nothing wrong with can hurt you so badly. And it will definitely not result in happiness or joy.
April 29th, 2015 11:22am
No. "Staying in the closet" or not coming out as any of the queer identities is not a bad thing. May it be forever or "late" choosing not to share your sexual orientation is NOT a bad thing. You are not obliged to present yourself to public for them to easily label you.
May 27th, 2015 6:24pm
Nope! It's all up to you. The "in the closet" thing is for people who feel stifled and suffocated with it. However, for plenty of people, their identity is their own private business that no one has any right to know. And that's perfectly fine!
November 8th, 2014 12:49am
From my experience, you will be missing out on so many exciting opportunities and experiences if you stay in the closet. It also creates a barrier between those closest to you as you'll always have to keep part of yourself always hidden.
November 11th, 2014 3:14pm
not at all. There are many introverts out there. Being an introvert, is a good thing , as the reports suggest that introverts are hard working and they tend to do their work at the earliest.
July 7th, 2015 3:22pm
No. You should talk about your sexuality only with whom you feel comfortable to. It's something quite personal!
March 7th, 2018 5:29am
Everyone should do what’s best for them and what makes their soul happy. If, like myself, you discover that you prefer to be with women at the age of 40, and you’re married with 4 young children, it might be a little complicated and you should likely proceed with caution.
November 15th, 2014 2:13pm
It can be yet coming out is process and each person has the right to determine the right place, time, and individuals to do so if they do choose to come out. There are many factors to consider so reflection is needed beforehand in terms of such thing as safety and financial reasons.
July 6th, 2015 5:31pm
No, it is not a bad thing. It is up to you and it is your decision if you want to disclose your sexual orientation, and if so, to which person. Sometimes there are situations and environments where you might not be able to come out or if you did come out, it could cause harm mentally and physically. In the end, it is your decision if you want to come out and who you want to come out. Your sexual orientation is no one's business but only your own.
September 8th, 2015 6:42pm
Many people will say that yes, it's a bad thing. They'll tell you that you should be showing the world who you are. Some even make an issue of honesty. But it's your life. They are your feelings. If you feel comfortable not sharing that part of you with others, those feelings are important. Do not let people pressure you into expressing parts of yourself, regardless of what they are, that you are not comfortable doing. That's the fastest way to feel worse and not better.
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
August 27th, 2018 8:15pm
Nothing about coming out is inherently good or bad. The choices about when, how and to whom you should come out are completely personal and no one can judge them. But you should always try to do whatever you think would make you feel good. Usually people decide to come out eventually, because for them living their life freely and openly and sharing their identity with others makes them feel better than hiding and pretending - even if coming out can be scary and maybe not everyone will be supportive. But if you think you can live your identity secretely and still feel good, why not? Just do whatever your heart tells you, and if one day you will change your mind and need something different, you can always come out whenever you want!
November 22nd, 2018 11:39am
Not necessarily. I think it's a shame that some of us felt that need. I'm bi and I've been in the closet for many, many years. I wish things were different when I was younger and I wish I had the courage to come out before getting married to my wife. But I've been living this way for so many years it just IS. I didn't choose to be bi. But I've chosen to remain in the closet. Maybe some day I'll come out. Maybe not. I've had that urge more so lately. And it has been causing me some anxiety. But in general my life has been pretty good.
November 7th, 2014 3:55pm
Yes, yes it is. Your sexuality is a part of you, and unless you live in an area where you will be judged, I'd say at least tell someone. Explore your sexuality. Go on, go now!
November 10th, 2014 4:32pm
No if you have regular meal, decent shower and stay dehydrated. But assuming that you haven't travel around the world, why spend time in lousy closet when you can the beautiful how the nature are.
November 20th, 2014 3:43am
I think it's incredibly difficult to stay in the closet forever, but I think that whether or not you come out is a really personal thing that has to be considered on a case-by-case basis. For me, there came a point where I couldn't really NOT come out. It was too much of a personal strain to continue pretending to have a "straight life" when both my partner and myself were going through drastic changes - her transitioning from male to female, and me coming to terms with my mostly-gay sexuality. I identify as pansexual, but I am vastly more attracted to women than to me... I had always known this, but at some point in my upbringing, a family member shamed my orientation and actively discouraged it. This has some long-lasting effects, but being able to come out has allowed me to heal some of those old scars simply by being authentic. I do believe, though, that everyone has to consider their own situation and make their coming out decision accordingly.
April 11th, 2015 5:54pm
It would seem so, because you are simply botelling up who you are. You should freely epress yourself .
November 23rd, 2015 2:13am
It can be, yes. I don't believe staying in the closet is healthy, and you're most likely going to end up lying a lot when relationships and kids come into topic between your family. A bit of a personal example, and family member of mine has yet to come out (Besides one time he was drunk) and he has become very detached from our family, which has caused depression in his mother, father, brothers, and himself.
December 14th, 2015 4:56am
It isn't a bad thing, but it can have a toll on you. Pretending to be someone you're not can cause anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, and low self-esteem. Only come out if it is safe, and be yourself!
January 19th, 2016 4:11pm
I think it could harm your view of yourself and limit relationships (including familial and friendships) because you never let anyone know the real you. You should be able to live out your life in a true reflection of who you are. However, if it's not safe or if you prefer to suppress a huge part of yourself, that is your choice. However, it is not bad if you don't hurt others in the process. Don't marry someone of the opposite sex or bash others who choose to live out.
February 16th, 2016 11:01pm
I think that hiding who you are from the world is never a good thing because one day you will start believing that you are wrong and that hiding is the only way to 'correct' yourself.
June 17th, 2015 10:14am
Staying in the closet isn't necessarily a BAD thing, but i can't assume it's healthy. Its important, as humans to express ourselves, and if you don't think you have enough of a support system to come out, you may be living in an unhealthy or toxic environment. Its healthy to come out.
July 20th, 2015 1:50am
Well, imagine if you were straight and married to a person of the opposite sex, but for some reason you couldn't mention it to anyone, or be seen with them, or admit that your kids were both of your kids. It would get pretty stressful, wouldn't it?
November 10th, 2015 4:02pm
Yes, because you're not being true to yourself. Being in the closet means trapping your love and what you are. Coming out is difficult, but definitely necessary. Good luck