It's almost impossible for me to accept my reality and truth that i'll never be able to have normle that a girl has since i'm a male to female transgender. How do i make myself accept?
Last Updated: 12/03/2019 at 5:20pm
Caroline Middelsdorf, MSc.
I am a warm hearted, patient, calm and open-minded therapist. I am here to dedicate my expertises to my clients and their individual challenges, thoughts and feelings.
Top Rated Answers
I think the most important thing to remember is that every woman/girl has a different experience of their life and their body. The "normal" female experience that you are perceiving, quite frankly, doesn't exist. Every person has a unique experience of the world and of themselves. That doesn't change whether or not you were born with a body that matches your mind and soul (if you believe in a soul). Accepting yourself is one of the hardest things you will ever do and that is a struggle everyone faces regardless of gender. I personally think that this is because we all see ourselves so much more intimately than we see others, so we think everyone else is more put together than we are, when the reality is that others are also struggling and think you are the one more put together than they are. These are kind of abstract ideas, but I hope they help.
Accepting yourself as transgender can be really hard. It's a long journey. But you are beautiful. Remind yourself of that every single day. You are absolutely stunning and you belong in this world. Shine on.
You can still have a girl's life! It may be harder for you to get there, but it's a totally worthy path to take. It can help you to get in contact with the trans community, talk to them, listen to their thoughts and experiences and share your own. It can help you see that trans people can have a perfectly happy and normal life. No one can give you back the childhood as a girl you never had, but you have the power on your future from now on.
What is it you consider "normal" in a woman/girl ? I once read, that the best way to be unhappy / depressed, is to compare with other people. Even if we know that's totally true, it's hard not to compare with others, especially cis people... It's hard but focusing on the negative things (the things you may think you "lack" or that you "shouldn't have") only feed that thought that trans people are "less" etc. Let me set you a little challenge : try to focus on some nice/positive things daily. Like "hey, it may be hard for me to find shoes in my size, but at least not a lot of people have the same shoes as me!" or "I can't bear children... but well, not having period is quite a advantage (no cramps, no blood stains on your panties, no need to buy protections, no risk of having to get an aborption, or get an episioto my during child delivery..). I know it may seem like small things, but it can help see positive things and balance a bit the things that you're sad about. Keep in mind that lots of cis women don't have uterus, are sterile, have pilosity issues, have small breast and flat hips, are tall, have a low voice etc, if that's the kind of thing that make you think you're less than cis girls... Maybe some things are in your power to change to fit your needs, but for the things that are not, practicing mindfulness, mediation or yoga can help a lot, to accept thing we can't change about ourselves, to learn how to love our bodies (or at least have a good relationship with them ^^) etc. I hope you'll get there. Feel free, you or anyone relating to that question, to contact me or other trans peers listeners to find a good hear and get support. :) You're not alone..
I have a transgender friend who has completed their transition. Lately and although I am so happy for her not so many of her old friends and family members behave good or normal. It hurts her and it even hurts me too. I get that it is hard to accept that everything is going right and going to be fine while everyone acts awkward around you. You could try making new friends who wouldn't make you feel abnormal when it isn't true... but if it is all about you not the forces of others around you, then forget about what you think is normal. That word is useless, be you 'cause world has so many of that so-called normal girls. You are over important and capable of so much love the person you are, all the love and best wishes in every step of your life!!!
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