It's not safe for me to Come Out yet. How can I make it easier, emotionally, to be in the Closet?
Last Updated: 07/08/2019 at 10:47am
Meredith Seltzer, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
The therapeutic relationship can assist you in accomplishing your goals and clarifying your wants and needs. As a skilled counselor and therapist I will help you along the way
Top Rated Answers
I talk to people online who have the same problem. we help each other out a lot. And I constantly tell myself that one day it will be safe for me to come out. that is what get's me though the day.
I think connecting to online communities, reading books, journaling, listening to queer music, reading queer news and magazines, find and watch queer youtubers, and creating safe (private) places for you to read/hear supportive people and express yourself can help a lot! Hang in there. It's so hard to be in situations where you have to hide - but it will get better, eventually.
Just remind yourself that it's okay to be the way you are and take pride in it. Express yourself no matter what in the closet or out. You don't have to be out of the closet and not still be you. You can still date people without others knowing and or about what sexuality you are, you can still express yourself through clothing without having to tell people formally what you are.
Unfortunately, sexuality is highly stigmatized and judged despite its utter inability to impact the lives of others. First and foremost, if you feel you are safe by remaining in the closet, please do so. You can cope with this by joining other online support forums and meeting people in your area in a similar situation. (My personal favorites are emptyclosets.com and okcupid.com). Additionally, you can reach out the LGBTQ support sector in your community that will provide anonymous resources and support. Finally, practice patience and self-love. Growing into an identity is difficult for us all, more so when we feel suddenly ostracized by our friends and family. Find a way to safely express yourself, i.e., art, writing, photography, etc. and keep supportive contacts close. Don't forget the love and support 7 Cups has to offer 24 hours a day!
Sometimes it helps to come out to a few friends/family members or just people you trust and know. I'm still in the closet but I feel a lot better emotionally because I can discuss stuff like my crushes and just being bi with these people who are understanding and care about me. Hang in there :)
I think it's needed to be said firstly that's it's completely okay to be in the closet if you don't feel safe coming out. Nobody needs to know what you identify as. It's something private that a lot of people rather keep in private. I think it's easier if you would find spaces like 7 cups to talk about your feelings anonymously and get away from toxic homophobic people who makes mean comments.
What i personally did is i came out to a few close friends and then i didn't have to hide myself 24/7
you just have to think that you are no different specie, and you are as humane as anyone. consider yourself as normal as anyone one around. and moreover dont think about it much. if you cant stop thinking read the blogs, documentaries of people like you. get to know yourself better, then a time will come when you will feel that you are not alone in this world.....
Try to talk about it, even here on 7 Cups, it'll help you get this out of yourself and not keep everything inside. Thanks to the Internet, there'll always be someone you can talk to and who will be there for you and listen, just remember that you are not alone, and there will always be people for you.
Remember that its your choice on when you want to come out and tell the people you love. Don't feel bad about it and trust yourself.
Practice scenarios in your head where the other person has a positive outcome or tell a stranger whom you'll never have to face again
Don't let your sexuality be all that you are, you are far more then your sexuality, focus on what makes you happy
Your support system is everything. Finding who you are and accepting yourself is the biggest step. You are who you are and should love yourself even if others cannot, and if you do not have a support system just yet, know that 7 cups has your back and there are SO many other people in your position and we all have to stick together
Talking about your sexuality on 7cups will make it easier, but ANYONE you can come out to will make it easier, so just see who you could safely come out to, if anyone.
You can try to get in contact with the LGBT community, either in person if you believe you can go to an LGBT circle near you with people noticing, or online, which is a great way to connect people who feel the same as you, and possibly have been through the same. Their support can work wonders at the emotional level!
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