I've dated a few guys, but I'm not sure if I was attracted to any of them . I've never dated a female, but I know for certain I'm attracted to them(outside of the bedroom as well as in) What am I?
Last Updated: 11/24/2020 at 7:31am
Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP
Licensed Professional Counselor
Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance
Top Rated Answers
It seems as you should experience a bit more but for now I would probably say that you are bisexual. If you experiment with a few more guys and you have no interest in them you are most likely lesbian. If you experiment with a few woman and you do not feel attracted to the girls either then you are most likely asexual. Don't label yourself any sexual orientation right now as you are not sure. Being gay bi or asexual isn't a bad thing and you shouldn't be angry at yourself. If thing brings suicidal thoughts then I recommend speaking to a therapist
If you don't think you were attracted to any of the men you've dated but do know you're attracted to women, there's a decent chance you're a lesbian, or at least a bisexual woman who prefers women. I would suggest to focus on what attraction you feel rather than worrying about the label, though. Don't feel obligated to try dating more men to make super sure you aren't into them, or feel pressured to date a woman because that seems like your only alternative. It's fine to be questioning. Labels should be to help share your experience and take pride in an identity, not something you should feel forced into figuring out as soon as you can.
You sound to be bi-curious but maybe leaning towards just simply wanted to be with women versus men. I think this is something most of us go through at some point in our lives and the only advice In would have is to go with your feelings. Men, women - it really is what makes you happy, what makes you complete. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and see which makes the most sense for you. No one can tell you what you are - except you - again, go with your heart, life is to short to spend it wondering when you are able to take action. Best of luck!
That's up to you! No one else can decide that for you and personally I have struggled with figuring out labels before and just remember you don't have to have one if you don't know yet, and it's also okay to change labels/figure yourself out. If you're not sure yet that's ok!! It can take some time and you'll know when you're ready. It's also good to remember that things like that can be fluid and defined in any way you want them to- there's many forms of attraction and many different labels that are out there, I would recommend just finding whatever you feel comfortable with or just waiting it out and seeing how you feel later. Try not to stress it, it's a normal feeling!
If you've dated guys you weren't actually attracted to, maybe you did it because you thought that's what you were supposed to do... Sometimes people automatize some sort of reasoning due to social conditioning. Perhaps you thought it was "normal" for you to date guys so you did it, but you found out you weren't actually attracted. If guys don't attract you and you're certain that girl attract you, it doesn't matter that you haven't dated a girl yet: your sexuality is defined by the attraction you feel, not the experience you have. So this is enough for you to determine what your orientation is!
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