Since I was 5, I've been 100% convinced I was meant to be born a boy, but in the last year I settled that I want to be both but more accepted and seen as male, but also as female. What does this mean?
Last Updated: 11/11/2019 at 12:33am
Lianne Kirby, MA in Counselling Psychology
I believe everyone should have the opportunity for their voice to be heard. I use a trauma informed, person centred approach in counselling.
Top Rated Answers
Well there's a couple options out there for you! I would recommend learning a bit more about these identities and seeing if any fit what you're feeling :) So, one option is being bigender, where you are both male and female, and want to be seen as both (whether or not you have more feelings towards one than the other). Or, there is genderfluid, if you feel like your feelings are changing between the two at different times. There is also genderflux, which would mean your feelings of being male or female would increase and decrease in intensity. Or, there is an overall term of genderqueer or nonbinary, that just says you are not cis, without having to be too specific, if you feel you want an open, flexible term :) There's absolutely nothing wrong with having your feelings about your gender change as you learn more about yourself. Whether you want to take on a label or not, the way you feel is just fine!
It sounds like your identity falls in the non-binary spectrum. Non-binary people don't identify 100% as either male or female. The degree to which they identify with one or the other varies from person to person. Within the same person, it can also vary from time to time. If it sounds like you, you can look up for some non-binary resources and maybe reach out to the non-binary community, to share your feelings and experiences, and learn from theirs. In any case, remember that your identity is valid, and even if it's less common than others, you can still find your way and be happy!
I can understand the confusion you may be feeling by identifying as both male and female. What this means is unique to your experience. There are labels for what you are feeling but before assigning a label to yourself, perhaps exploring who you are and how you are really feeling would be nice. Think about what it means to you to identify male, then think about what parts of you identify as female. Now that you have embraced your complexity, what are some of the ways that you will be comfortable expressing yourself around others?
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