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Sometimes I really think I was meant to be a different gender, but then other times I really like my gender. What's wrong with me?

40 Answers
Last Updated: 08/27/2019 at 12:05am
Sometimes I really think I was meant to be a different gender, but then other times I really like my gender. What's wrong with me?
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United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
October 11th, 2016 6:38pm
There is certainly nothing wrong. Gender is completely conceptual, maybe you feel like wearing a dress, or putting make-up on; and other times, you feel like no make-up, baggy clothes and boxers. There is nothing wrong!! You can be you, you can sit back and relax. You don't need to be one or the other :)
April 11th, 2017 5:53am
There is nothing wrong with you, in fact tons of people feel the same way you do! These feelings can be confusing and scary, but they're nothing to be ashamed of. They could be indicative of your gender identity. Switching between feeling like you are presenting as the right gender and feeling like you were assigned incorrectly could mean that you are non-binary, agender, genderfluid, or many other gender identities. Your gender is something only you can know, and it may take time for you to figure it out, but that's okay. In fact, you may find that your gender identity actually changes over time, and that's totally okay too! Identity labels are a tool meant to help you describe yourself and feel comfortable, so you can't get it wrong! Doing research about various identities and thinking about how you feel is the best way to start answering your own gender identity questions.
May 5th, 2017 9:12pm
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Its possible you may be gender fluid or agender, or gender queer, or demi-boy or demi-girl. There are many ways to identify or express your gender. Do some research into different genders, and you may see which one you feel expresses yourself correctly.
June 6th, 2017 4:13pm
Nothing is wrong with you at all. If you really would like to be the other gender, go by that gender. No one should judge you for you being you.
July 10th, 2017 1:46pm
There is nothing wrong with you. It might strike you as a surprise, but a lot of people feel that way. What is gender anyway? You can be anything you want today. When you feel like being a guy, just do that and when you wish to be a girl, do that as well! (Saying for a personal experience)
September 4th, 2017 11:50pm
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! For a lot of people gender isn't a binary, it's a spectrum. What you've described feeling sounds a lot like being Genderfluid. You could also be any number of other nonbinary (nb) identifying genders. It's definitely a subject worth looking into! Just know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with questioning yourself or your gender. Life is an experience personal to you! Don't be afraid to take time to understand yourself and who you are or want to be.
February 6th, 2018 2:17am
You may enjoy certain aspects of both genders, say you were born a female, but sometimes wanted to be male. There’s nothing wrong with you, people may not always agree that it’s the right thing, but just because you are unsure if you are cisgender or not, doesn’t make anything wrong with you.
June 4th, 2018 6:47am
Nothing is wrong with you! It’s totally okay to explore different options with your gender and sexuality,and there are lots of different terms used for people like you. You could identify as non-binary,where you don’t identify as any specific gender,but it sounds to me more like you’re gender-fluid,this means you’re constantly moving between the two binary genders,and sometimes you might not even feel like you need a gender! Do some online research and figure out what best describes you x
May 6th, 2019 2:21am
There’s nothing wrong with you; I think you might be genderfluid. If you don’t know what that is, it means that sometimes you’ll feel like one gender and sometimes you’ll feel like another, and it’s completely random. Unfortunately I can’t diagnose you with gender dysphoria, so maybe you should talk to someone about taking a dysphoria test to see if you have any dysphoria. If you don’t feel comfortable with the term genderfluid for yourself, you might want to look up other terms for gender that might describe you better. You might also be bigender, polygender, or pangender, but I definitely think that your gender identity fluctuates.
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
August 27th, 2019 12:05am
It could be that you a non-binary person, meaning that you don't always identify 100% with one gender. Your identification with one gender or another may vary, and that's ok, there are many non-binary people who feel the same as you and it's totally normal. You're free to express your gender identity in any way that fits what you feel in a specific moment, while knowing that overall you aren't one gender only. Your identity is valid!