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(This one is for asexuals.) Why don't I feel sexually attracted to anyone? Am I broken?

28 Answers
Last Updated: 06/01/2020 at 11:46am
(This one is for asexuals.) Why don't I feel sexually attracted to anyone? Am I broken?
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Top Rated Answers
January 13th, 2015 6:19am
No, you are not broken for not experiencing an specific form of attraction. There is no standarized test to determine sexual attraction (defined as a pull or allure towards doing sexual activities with someone); its all about how you feel. Lets say you never really felt like wanting to eat meat, you mihgt want to eat cake instead or chocolate or an other foods...its just that meat never seemed "attractive" to you, even when sometimes you might think it looks good or when you sometimes ate it the "spark" that made others go crazy about eating meat is just something that is not coded in you. And not experiencing that is totally okay. So in short, there's nothing wrong with not experiencing sexual attraction as their is nothing wrong with expiriencing either (or even experiencing it on rare ocassions). Being/Identifying as an asexual will not turn you into a unicorn, you will still be very much human as the rest and will be just as valuable and whole as the rest of us.
Anonymous - Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
January 18th, 2015 7:18am
You are not broken. Re-read that as many times as you need to. You're not broken, there's nothing wrong with you, ignore anyone who tries to tell you differently because they are wrong. We don't feel sexual attraction for the same reason allosexuals do -- it's just how we are, whether by genetics or otherwise. If asexuals are broken, then people who don't like pizza are broken, too, and that's just silly. Lots of people have a hard time understanding us, which leads to acephobia we end up internalizing. It's hard to fight against it when so many refuse to believe we exist, but their ignorance does not make us less whole, nor does our lack of sexual attraction make our lives worth less. You're not broken. You're wonderful just as you are.
May 3rd, 2016 2:30am
Nope! You're not broken, you just don't experience sexual attraction. That's cool, I don't either. You're awesome.
April 25th, 2016 7:33pm
Sexual attraction is a way for species to reproduce and make new offspring which further reproduce and so it is a cycle. Now for humans, this is also true. However, due to overpopulation humans are evolving to becoming asexuals because their is so function and "need" to produce offspring at all. Hence, LGBTQ+. These are the groups of the future and the percentage of people not marrying at all has increase as well as divorce rates. Nonscientific scriptures state that being LGBTQ+ is the future "species" of humans in the future. So relax and be happy because you are the future of humankind.
June 2nd, 2015 9:25pm
You are not broken, and you are not alone. I'm a demi-pan-romantic asexual. Sexual attraction is not the same as sexual activity. Just because you don't feel the need to "tap that" does not mean that you are unhealthy or "broken." Some people aren't attracted to certain genders, and you just aren't sexually attracted to any gender. Sex is not love. You are human and perfect. I can't explain to you why you don't feel sexual attraction to anyone because it would be like trying to explain to my brother (aromatic asexual) what having romantic attraction is like. I can tell you, however, that you are not sick or broken, regardless of what you are told. Some people are homoseual, some heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, (insert the lists here) and so much more. You're asexual. That's it. You are more than your sexual attraction, love, I promise. *Pardon my vehement response.* I hope this helped
June 28th, 2016 6:25pm
You are not broken. It is totally normal not to feel sexual attraction. There are so many people living like this and their happiness lies outside sexual intercourse.
July 2nd, 2016 10:55pm
No. There's nothing wrong with being asexual, and while I understand it cam make you feel like an outsider in this sex obsessed world, it's completely natural and there's nothing bad about it. I'm asexual, and I'm very happy with that. You don't have to feel broken just because you're asexual, because you're not broken.
March 13th, 2018 3:43am
Hi! I'm an asexual too! No, we aren't broken. I thought so when I was younger, but now I realize... we're okay. :) I enjoy how free I am to love (sexless love) so many more friends in so many more ways than if I got tunnel-vision on having sex with them. I view my asexuality as freedom! Love is like a soda in the bottle of life. Sex is like a glass. Sexual people pour from their bottle of love, into the glass of sex. They drink/receive love through the glass of sex. We asexuals are free to chug the soda/love right out of the bottle! We skip a step, and it isn't always socially acceptable, but we love too, and I find that beautiful! You and I are people - worthy and capable of love. Sure, we go about it a different way, but that doesn't make us (or them!) any better or worse. Let us rejoice in our free love, unfettered by the constraints of sex!
December 14th, 2015 2:16pm
No, you're definitely not broken. Asexuality is perfectly common and I know many people who aren't sexually attracted to anyone. Remember asexuality is so common and very natural, don't sweat it!
November 1st, 2016 9:06pm
No, you're not broken at all! It's like how some people are sexually attracted to some genders and others aren't- asexuals just aren't sexually attracted to anyone. And that's perfectly fine! It's very important to remember not to blame yourself or to think you're broken, and to work your hardest to accept the person that you are.
February 10th, 2015 6:04am
Not feeling sexual attraction towards people is completely normal! Just as feeling sexual attraction is normal too. Asexuals don't feel sexual attraction towards people at all, but it can change throughout a persons life. It could also be due to depression or other issues. So if it's something that bothers you or you want to change, you can always speak to your doctor about it.
November 24th, 2015 5:18am
That's just who you are. Nothing is wrong with you. It's normal to feel this way. Your not alone. You are not broken.
October 24th, 2016 2:09pm
You are not broken! You are a wonderful whole person who experience life differently! This is not bad! In fact I have found that being asexual leaves me time to think of lots of other things.
May 8th, 2017 2:23pm
No! Of course not! It is normal for people to be asexual. I don't know what makes us asexual, but it's probably the same reason some people are gay and others aren't.
April 30th, 2018 7:32pm
You are not broken. You are a human being who is attracted to other things, like inner beauty, physical attraction, emotional attractions and other amazing things about people. A lot of people don’t experience sexual attraction and this is a common occurrence.
August 25th, 2015 9:24pm
Not at all. Nobody is broken, and not experiencing sexual attraction is certainly normal. Some might say common, in fact :) There's a large asexual community out there that only feel romantic attraction towards people IF THAT! There may be no specific reason why you're not sexually attracted to anyone- that's like asking why your hair isn't naturally blue or why cats aren't born with wooly hats. It's natural and you should embrace it and certainly not be ashamed of it ^.^
February 6th, 2017 2:21pm
No of course not, just like some people prefer men or women or both etc, some just don't and it's ok
November 19th, 2017 10:35pm
Not even a little broken. It's so easy to feel like you can be, though! I really get where you're coming from. Being attracted to people is honestly hard to explain. It might have some biological factors, if you still want to look it up. But at the end of the day, you are who you are, just like bisexuals are bi, transgenders are trans, and queers are queer. It's one of the little-lovely things that makes you YOU
November 21st, 2017 9:40am
You're not broken! You belong to a beautiful community of asexual people and we all accept you for who you are!
February 14th, 2017 5:46pm
Nope! you're not broken, maybe you're not type of a person that's usually into it, unless you found the right one that suits to your taste and preferences,
December 18th, 2017 4:43am
No, you're not broken. Sexuality is fluid and people feel what they feel. It is not wrong to feel this way, as everyone experiences sexual attraction differently. I identify as asexual, because I simply could not find anything else to describe my feelings. This analogy I saw really helped: being asexual is like opening the fridge and finding that you don't want anything to eat, even though you're hungry. Again, asexuality and sexuality in general are on a spectrum. There is no right way to do things, and it's all up to you. At the end of the day, the person who matters the most is you.
January 23rd, 2018 11:21pm
No you are NOT broken and don't ever think that. You are probaby asexual and aren't into having an intimate relationship. I'm also an asexual and I don't feel sexually attracted to people, intimacy makes me quite uncomfortable. It's just the way we function.
March 5th, 2018 2:15pm
You are not broken. The way you see individuals isn't by all means on physical intimacy. Sex isn't everything. Infact, it is entirely normal to feel like this as an asexual. You're not broken. Just sometimes, some people like Tea and some people don't like the thought of Tea. That is all it really is..
May 29th, 2018 4:17am
No, you are not broken. Sexual attraction is a spectrum, and you are simply at one end of it. There is nothing wrong with you; many people are asexual or are on the asexual spectrum.
December 18th, 2018 12:05am
You are NOT broken. You are just as human as the rest of us, your sexual preference does not change that. Would you say I’m broken because I like blue instead of green? Am I broken for not liking meat? No, because it’s just my personal preference and those just aren’t as appealing to me. You are not broken, and don’t listen to anyone who tells you different because they’re wrong. Welcome to the asexual family, we’re glad to have you. Be proud of yourself, because you’re you and isn’t that great?
February 4th, 2019 10:58pm
No, you are not broken. Asexuality is a preference not to have sex, and that is 100% ok! I myself am asexual and I love being asexual. Think back to the first time you realized that you were asexual. How did you feel? Did it feel different? Would you rather feel sexual attraction to someone? It’s not a choice to be sexually attracted or not sexually attracted to other people. You just prefer not to be sexually attracted to anyone, and that is fine. Remember to just be yourself, love yourself, and express yourself.
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
June 10th, 2019 7:58pm
There's nothing wrong with being asexual, it's an orientation that is as valid and natural as any other. It's something you're born with, not something that went broken during your life. I know it might seem a bit difficult to be asexual in a society that focuses a lot on sex, but just like with many other things, being part of a minority doesn't mean being wrong or being doomed to unhappiness. In fact, many asexual people have happy and fulfilling relationship of purely romantic nature. Happiness is there for you too, and you're perfectly alright the way you are!
June 1st, 2020 11:46am
You are not broken. Sexual attraction, or the lack thereof, is something we have no control over. I have come to terms to being asexual over the course of a few years now, I also thought that I was "broken" in a sense that my lack of sexual attraction was due to an underlying medical condition or mental health issue. I had to do some soul searching to determine that nothing was wrong with how I feel, and that asexuality is completely natural. However, this is my experience. If you feel that your lack of sexual attraction is somehow negatively affecting your mental and/or physical health, I suggest that you find a person to talk to about this. Even though asexuality is completely normal, sexuality and the expression thereof, is still perceived as a major factor in what is considered "normative" behavior and health, so coming to terms with not experiencing sexual attractions might have you feeling isolated, and what you expressed as "broken". Remember this is your journey of self-discovery, which you have started by asking this question, so irrespective of whether or not you are asexual, remember that you are first and foremost a human being, and your sexuality or lack thereof does not have to define ho you are. I wish you all the best in your journey