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What are asexuality and demisexuality? Do I need to put a label on my feelings?

30 Answers
Last Updated: 02/03/2020 at 11:57am
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Top Rated Answers
May 28th, 2015 7:30am
Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. Demisexuality is when sexual attraction is only ever formed after knowing a person well. Grey-asexuality is when you rarely experience sexual attraction. It is important to note that sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and aesthetic attraction are all different. While it is not necessary to label your feelings (particularly if you are comfortable with how you feel), labels can provide supportive communities, validation, and a better understanding of yourself. Labels are never necessary, but exist for if you need them.
Anonymous - Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
August 31st, 2015 9:19pm
Labels can help validate how you feel and find others who feel similarly, but you never need a label if you don't want one. You can also change your label at any point, if you find one you feel more comfortable with or describes you better. Asexuality is both an individual label and the name of a spectrum of labels that includes demisexuality. An asexual person does not experience sexual attraction at all, whereas a demisexual person will only experience sexual attraction to some people they've formed close emotional bonds with. Sexual attraction is a gut feeling, pull, or allure toward a specific person in which you want to partake in sexual activities with them. An asexual person never feels this, whereas someone on the asexual spectrum may feel it occasionally. Many demisexual people experience it just a few times in their lives, and sometimes start out identifying as asexual until they learn more about themselves. Someone not on the asexual spectrum, in comparison, will feel sexual attraction as often as several times a day. However, sexual is only one of many types of attraction, and someone on the asexual spectrum may (or may not) feel other types of attraction, such as romantic. However you feel, whether there's a label for it or not, whether you want a label or not, it's real and valid and normal and okay.
June 6th, 2015 10:54pm
Asexuality typically describes a lack of sexual attraction with low or no sexual activity. Demisexuality typically describes an inability to feel sexual attraction without a strong emotional bond. Labeling your sexual identity can be a helpful means of articulating your preferences to others or yourself. However, if you feel a specific label doesn't accurately or entirely reflect your feelings, it won't convey the correct ideas & there is no obligation to use it.
October 16th, 2015 6:11pm
Demisexuality is basically where you are not attracted to someone unless you have formed an emotional connection with someone. There are different aspects of demisexuality, hetero demisexuality, homo demisexuality, bi demisexuality, etc. Asexuality also has different aspects, but the general definition is not having sexual attractions towards people. And you do not have to put labels on your feelings if you don't want to. I think that these labels have been put together to help give a sense of community, because it is sometimes hard to be completely accepted as a queer person. Labels are not for everyone, it's more of a personal preference.
January 22nd, 2015 9:54pm
Someone who is asexual does not really feel sexual attraction. A demisexual can be sexually attracted to people but usually has a deep emotional connection to the person first. You don't ever need to label yourself if you don't feel comfortable with it but some people like myself like to have labels.
January 25th, 2015 12:05pm
No, you never have to put a label on your feelings. Nothing ever has to be labeled, it's just how our society works. Society feels the need to label everything, but you don't have to label yourself
May 19th, 2017 11:15am
Asexuality is when you are not sexually attracted to any person. Demisexuality is when you are sexually attracted to a person only after forming an emotional bond with them. Putting a label on your feelings is a personal choice. It is not necessary to label everything but if you feel like you'll be more comfortable after labelling yourself, then why not? Labels might help you understand yourself better but towards the end, they are just a personal choice. Some people don't like labelling themselves while some people do.
May 30th, 2016 2:38pm
Asexuality is that you don't feel sexual attraction to other people. That doesn't mean you don't feel sexual at all. Some asexuals are sex repulsed while others don't find it necessary in a relationship. Demisexuality is that you only feel sexual attraction to the person you are dating. You never have to put a label on your feelings if you aren't comfortable or don't know how to label yourself. You can just go with the flow.
September 6th, 2016 4:08pm
Asexuality is when you generally don't feel sexual attraction or desire to any group of people. Demisexuality is when you don't experience sexual attraction UNLESS they have formed a strong emotional relationship with another person. You do not need to put a label on your feelings - only you know how you feel. Labels aren't necessary. You feel what you feel and that's OK.
February 27th, 2018 9:17am
Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. Feelings has no labels, they r free and no one have the right to label your feelings ❤
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
June 10th, 2019 8:15pm
Asexuality is an orientation that consists in not feeling sexual attraction towards anyone, but romantic attraction is still possible. Demisexuality consists in only feeling sexual attraction towards people to whom you are deeply emotionally/romantically connected. There is no necessity for you to label yourself if you don't feel comfortable with labels or if you feel no label correctly describes who you are. Labels are only there to be used when it makes you feel comfortable, they don't have to become a burden, and they're not mandatory at all!
April 1st, 2015 3:23pm
You never need to put a label on your feelings. Some people like labels because they make them feel part of a group, but if you don't feel a label fits you you don't need to use one. Follow your own feelings. Asexuality is an absence of sexual desires. Demisexuality is less well defined (I think), but is essentially that you don't feel sexual feelings until you have formed a deep emotional connection.
June 10th, 2015 10:09pm
Asexual is a lack of sexual desire. Demisexual is a sexual desire that is only built after an emotional connection has been established. You should never feel like you need to label yourself even if these do sound like you though.
June 22nd, 2015 2:09pm
Asexual -> Someone who is not sexually attracted to people, and an umbrella for asexuality-related | Demisexual -> Someone who experiences sexual attraction only after an emotional connection has been formed.A demisexual is someone who is only sexually attracted to people whith whom they have established a close emotional bond. | And no,you dont need to! :)
September 22nd, 2015 6:23am
You do not unless it makes you feel better. As for asexuality and demisexuality, Asexuality is NO sexual attraction and Demisexuality is having sexual attraction AFTER forming a very strong bond.
October 22nd, 2015 1:25am
Asexuality is when you don't feel sexual attraction to anyone. You may still feel romantic attraction, and you may still want to have sex. It's "I want to have sex," (for some people) but not "I want to have sex with you in particular." Demisexual is asexual except after getting to know a person and forming a connection with them, then maybe the "I want to have sex with you in particular," will develop. You absolutely don't need a label. If you don't find a fitting one, and are comfortable with not having one, you don't need to keep searching.
March 7th, 2016 2:57am
an asexual person is someone that does not feel any sexual drive for another person, whoever a demisexual person is someone that may have a sexual drive but only with someone that has created a strong emotional bond, and labels are not necessary as long as you feel comfortable with you are
April 25th, 2016 1:44am
Asexuality:without sexual feelings or associations & Demisexuality: A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. This 2 sexuality are different in their own ways. It is good if you can identify who u are for yourself and not for anyone else. Labeling yourself is just so that people can put a label on what you are and that is not important.
May 30th, 2016 6:21am
Disclaimer: I am not an expert, but I will try to answer this question as best I can, and hopefully in a non offensive manner! From what I know, asexuality refers to a sexual orientation in which one does not feel a desire to have sexual intercourse. I believe romantic love is still present, but sex is not of interest. If I'm remembering correctly, demisexuality is on the spectrum of asexuality; however, those who are demisexual may still have the desire for sex but tend to form romantic relationships cautiously and slowly. There is definitely a better definition for demisexuality that I am forgetting right now, so I apologize. As for needing to put a label on your feelings, I would say NO, you do not need to label yourself if you do not want to. Many societies tend to be fixated on labeling and putting people into boxes. I personally believe sexuality is fluid. That said, I think I am generally more comfortable labeling my sexual orientation, but sometimes I feel confused about it. It is normal to feel confused, and it is normal not to put a label on your feelings. It is also normal to put a label on your feelings. The concept of normal is subjective, and no one should pressure you to put a label on your feelings. Your sexuality is /your/ decision and /your/ business. Take care!
July 12th, 2016 4:30am
As a LGBT teen I really dislike labelling myself as I see myself as a person, no matter who I come across no matter how I feel whatever gender people are is not a concern to me. To me love is love. Labels are really not required at all! asexuality simply putting is the attraction sexually to nobody. and has no desire to anything sexually. but asexual people can still be attracted to people and have happy relationships. Where Demisexual comes in is where you can be attracted to someone and be sexually involved but only when your deeply emotional involved with that person.
August 9th, 2016 12:25am
Demisexuality is a specific sexual orientation where an individual feels sexually attracted to only people that they have an emotional bond with. Some demisexual individuals have a decreased interest in sexual activity. Asexuality is where an individual lacks any sexual attractive to anyone and they also have less interest in sexual activity. If you do not feel comfortable putting a label on your feelings, I do not believe the you need to. It is up to you.
October 24th, 2016 5:07am
To me, sexuality is a sliding scale. Asexuality and demisexuality are a part of this scale. In extremely simple terms, asexuality means that a person does not have sexual feelings or desires towards others. A demisexual person, on the other hand, has sexual feelings or desires towards others that they feel an emotional connection with. Putting labels on your feelings can be helpful. It can help you feel like you belong to a group of likeminded people. But it is not always the case. Some people choose not to label themselves at all. It's up to you! No one knows you better than you. Sometimes you may prefer different labels, multiple labels, or none at all. Whatever you're most comfortable with is your best identifier.
May 8th, 2017 2:43pm
Asexuality is when you feel no sexual attraction to anyone. You can still want sex, and have/enjoy sex, but you don't get that desire from looking at a person or anything like that. Demisexuality is when you are only sexually attracted to people you are close to/have a preexsisting romantic attraction towards. You don't have to label yourself if you don't want to.
September 12th, 2017 8:25pm
Asexuality is when you don't experience sexual attraction to anyone. Demisexuality is when you only feel sexual attraction to people once you have a very strong bond with them (for example, you might be attracted to one of your best friends but you wouldn't feel attracted to celebrities or "hot" people you didn't know.) You never have to put a label on your feelings if you don't want to, the point of labels is to make you feel more comfortable, but some people don't feel comfortable with specific labels and that's perfectly ok
October 16th, 2017 9:08pm
Asexuality is when someone does no feel sexual thoughts or emotions at all (Aromantic is kind of the same but you dont feel romance to anyone) while Demisexuality is feeling love or romantic/attracted, to someone due to a deep bond with a certain person. You never have to put a label on anything, if it is how you feel and dont know how to explain it, then just feel how you feel!
January 1st, 2018 12:21am
Asexuality is lack of sexual attraction. Demisexuality is when you don't feel sexually attracted to someone until you form an emotional connection. And no, you don't need to put a label on your feelings if you don't want to.
January 16th, 2018 2:35pm
Asexuality= No sexual attraction or urges towards anyone Demisexuality= Sexual attraction can occur only to those connected to one in an emotional bond Of course not! Labels aren't for everyone and you shouldn't be pressured to use one.
March 12th, 2018 5:04am
Asexuality is having no feeling for sexual contact and demisecuality is having sexual feeling or contact but only after a strong emotional bond is formed. No you don’t have to put a label I️ still don’t really have a way to put my feelings so I️ have a label because it makes me happy, but you don’t need one.
April 3rd, 2018 7:02pm
No, you don't have to, asexual means you have no romantic attraction and demisexual means you take time to know someone before falling for them.
February 3rd, 2020 11:57am
everyone can interpret labels differently so I just saying how I see them and I can't for sure say this is how others see them. To me, Asexuality is when you aren't attracted to anyone and don't want a relationship weather that is intimately or romantically, demisexual is when you need to feel a connection to someone to be attracted to them and want to be in a relationship of the romantic kind. As far as the second question goes you don't need to have a label by any means! you could not have any labels at all or use an umbrella term of some sort like queer.