What are some ways to navigate a romantic (non-sexual) relationship in such a sex-obsessed culture? Sometimes it's hard to avoid anxiety, stress, or feeling "fake."
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Last Updated: 06/18/2019 at 9:56am
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Myiesha Beard, LPC, NCC, CAMSII
Licensed Professional Counselor
I maintain a general practice providing services to children, adults, couples and families.
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It seems in our culture that sex is one of the cornerstones of a relationship. Rarely do you see a relationship on tv where a couple doesn't have sex. Even characters who are depicted emotionless, unconnected or uninterested in things such sex, and enter relationships tend to eventually engage in sex. However, sex isn't as pivotal as television and media would like you to think. A relationship can be merely romantic. There just needs to be a lot of communication (though communication should be in any relationship). Talk to your partner. When entering a relationship with someone, one of the first things you should tell them is that you would like to have a nonsexual relationship and ask if they are okay with this. Make sure they understand whether or not you will someday have sex and let them know under no circumstances will you be okay with being pressured or mistreated for not have sex. Seek out people who are in non-sexual relationships. Take advice from them and share experiences. You are perfectly normal and healthy if you want to engage in a non-sexual relationship and you deserve to find someone who will love and respect you.
Dialogue and mutual support with your partner is key in this. If you and your partner agree on the conditions of your relationship and find your own balance that makes you happy, you have also gained the most precious ally against the feeling of inadequacy that society is trying to make you feel. Whenever you feel down about this, you can share it with your partner, talk about the stress or pressure that you feel, find support in one another. Sometimes, sharing our worries with the person that can best understand them is the biggest help we can get. If you are happy and confident about your relationship, dialogue and mutual support can help you through these moments.
By communicating your wants from the relationship as it is important that you feel fulfilled as much as your significant other.
Its your relationship and its working out, so whatever others say around you does not matter. Sticking on to your believe is important because if you break it to make others happy then you will not be happy.
always be honest with your partner/s about your intentions, there are a lot of people out there who are actually looking just a romantic relationship, not sexual.
I hear that you experience stress and anxiety around making platonic relationships. My thoughts would be to set boundaries around your platonic relationships and this involves you to express a level of assertiveness
Always show the person how much they mean to you. Do things with them that aren't sexual just to show them you are there. Always keep you guard up and don't let them talk you into taking it down.
Anonymous
November 1st, 2015 2:02pm
Talk about what interests your partner. Establish boundaries before anything. You need to find your crowd here-meaning peeps you think JUST LIKE YOU about sex.
By realizing there are multiple forms of love it helps to navigate and understand the depth of love. I'd suggest researching Greek Love.
As an asexual person, it's very difficult for me. However, setting boundaries with a romantic partner is really helpful, as well as finding ways to validate and care for yourself.
Sexual relationships work in different ways. If there's a romantic twist then it is up to the couples to decide what they both want. The stress and anxiety is primarily due to the relationship between two people. How to navigate is primarily up to the people themselves.
Anonymous
February 12th, 2018 12:42am
You can show the person how much you care and love them and want them for them not their body. Tell them they are your world how they make you happy and feel loved.
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